


Unfinished Business

by TinySpiney



Series: Of Humans and Androids [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Anti-Android Sentiments (Detroit: Become Human), Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed are Half-Siblings, Elijah Kamski Whump, Elijah Kamski has Issues, Gavin Reed Backstory, Gavin Reed Being an Asshole, Gavin Reed Has Issues, Gavin Reed Whump, Gavin Reed-centric, Gen, Good Parent Carl Manfred, Minor Character Death, lets be honest he's basically their pseudo-dad, not immediately but its inevitable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:42:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 66,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26463604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinySpiney/pseuds/TinySpiney
Summary: Now with a playlist!
Relationships: Chris Miller & Gavin Reed, Elijah Kamski & Carl Manfred, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed's Mother, Gavin Reed & Carl Manfred, Gavin Reed & Gavin Reed's Mother, Hank Anderson & Gavin Reed, Original Chloe | RT600 & Elijah Kamski, Original Chloe | RT600 & Gavin Reed
Series: Of Humans and Androids [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1944910
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It was high time I actually wrote down what I feel their backstories would be. So here you go! I'm not sure how long this is gonna be, but I know it's going to be emotional as all hell. 
> 
> Unlike my other fics, we're not using lyrics for chapter titles. I felt it would be better if we didn't this time around. The title is from Unfinished Business by White Lies.

_ October 17th 2009 10:10 AM _

  
  


People knew he was different.  _ He _ knew he was different. What with all of the different questions people would ask, with increasing difficulty and yet with vigor. Scientific questions, math equations, history, literature. People called him gifted. People called him a child genius. People called him the next Einstein. While he knew he was smart, always having to ask for something more difficult from an adult. Until one day he had solved an equation left up on the board by his teacher. It was nothing too hard, not for him, but the teacher hadn’t realised he’d be able to understand it. Thus began looking for a purpose. His parents were adamant that he start looking toward his future. His father wanted him to go into business just like both of his parents. His mother wanted him to go into advanced scientific programs, she wanted him to become a scientist. Or in the very least, she wanted him to work for NASA once he got old enough. He didn’t understand why either of them wanted him to think about such things so early. They both complained about never having time to be a child in their youth, always in hushed whispers and with laughs to their friends when they were over. So he didn’t quite understand why they didn’t want him to slow down and enjoy his youth. It was strange. It was pressuring. It was stressful.

His name was Elijah Arthur Kamski, and he was just a little boy. 

Today was just like any other day, really. Well, out of the ones he got to himself. Today he was sitting on his floor, on the shaggy white carpet in front of his bed, and taking apart a remote control. Elijah wanted to see if he could put it back together the way it had initially been. He knew how it worked, and he knew what all the pieces were. Thus it should have only been a matter of understanding the pieces and taking logic into account in order to put it back properly. He had almost clicked the back panel into place when his mother knocked on his door frame and smiled at him. It was a specific smile. The one she got when she spoke about him with her friends over wine. It was pressed thin, though still real all the same. Elijah didn’t know how he really felt about it if he were to be honest. Though this time he didn’t have any time to greet her before she came in and sat on his bed. Elijah also didn’t have the time to tell her he would have liked to have some space before she started talking. With that voice she got when something was troubling to her, though she didn’t want him to know what it was. Usually it was because he would try and fix the problem for her. Even if it couldn’t be fixed. 

This time she told him that he was going to be going to live with someone else for the foreseeable future. He asked her why. He liked his bed, his rug, he liked being able to have access to the tools and such that he played with. That he took things apart with and recreated them anew with. She shook her head, almost looking genuinely remorseful, and gave him a real smile. A sad one. Elijah didn’t like it. He sat up on his bed next to his mother, ignoring his personal space bubble and putting a hand on hers to try and placate her. Though the action only seemed to stir up something heated in her eyes, and she abruptly stood. Elijah watched in a mixture of confusion and apathy as his mother ground out that he needed to pack his clothes and basic necessities. The apathy got replaced with something...he couldn’t place. Not the confusion, though that was still very prevalent. But it was negative, remorseful almost. Elijah didn’t understand what he had done wrong. Because that was the only logical conclusion he could come to. He had done something wrong, and this was his punishment.

So he grabbed his backpack and stuffed his clothes in it. He knew enough to know he needed everything he could put in it. Sock, underwear, jeans, shirts, a hoodie or two. Elijah slipped on a pair of sneakers and carefully put another pair in a pocket of the backpack. Special dress shoes his father had bought him for an event they had gone to. They were very fancy, black and polished, neatly tied and without a trace of any dirt or other imperfection. They were his favourite shoes. Elijah quickly made his way to the bathroom, getting up on his step stool and grabbing his toothbrush. It was for the foreseeable future, so he’d need it. He looked at his toothpaste, the kind with the sparkles in it, and decided to grab it. It was fun and he liked it therefore it went in the backpack. He thought about taking some of his tools. Standing in his doorway and longingly looking down at his white carpet. Immaculate and perfect. Just like everything else in his room. In his life. Elijah bent over to grab at one of the fibers and pull on it, effectively ripping it out and then depositing it on the dark hardwood floor. Less perfect. Less suffocating in the situation. He didn’t understand what was happening. He didn’t like it. But he had to listen to his mother, she was going to be sending somewhere safe at least. Or. That was what parents were supposed to do. 

Elijah scampered to the foyer before anyone had to holler for him. The blues and blacks, the greys and whites. They were perfect. There was no sign of a child living in that house. Elijah almost felt something like a contented sigh when he stepped out the door with his parents. The suffocating atmosphere of how constricting the house was immediately leaving him. It was only once they were in the car that he worked up enough courage to ask where they were going. Also why he had to be the one to go. His mother looked at him from the rearview mirror and then flicked her gaze to his father. It was angry. Though the heat smouldered when she looked back at Elijah, hugging his backpack on his chest in his lap, and she smiled when she said they found out he had a brother. That he lived in a little cottage with his mother, and they were very excited to meet him. Elijah was...confused. He knew he wasn’t adopted. But he apparently had a brother, who had a different mother. The glare his own mother had sent his father meant something he didn’t understand yet. Something he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to understand, if the look on her face was anything to go off of. So with his lips pressed together in a line, Elijah looked out the window for the rest of the car ride. 

Then they came to a yellow cottage in the suburbs of the city. On practically the complete other side of it. Elijah carefully took his seatbelt off and stepped out of the car. The neighbourhood was relatively quiet. Cottages on either side of the street, each one some pastel colour. It was...so much more welcoming than his parents’ neighbourhood. Elijah forced down his little smile and followed his father to the front door. He knocked loudly, cursing under his breath, and jumped when a woman opened the door. She had long blonde hair and pretty blue eyes. The way she looked at Elijah radiated warmth, the way she looked at his father as he spoke radiated coldness and hatred. She even reached out to remove his father’s hand from the top of his head with a sneer. Then came the goodbyes. Elijah wasn’t sure how long it would be until his parents came to get him. So he asked his father why they were leaving him there with his brother and a woman he had never met. His father cleared his throat, yet his voice was still unsteady. Nervous even. He avoided looking at the woman when he looked down at Elijah and explained they were very busy people. They had very important jobs in the city and no one to keep him entertained. He needed to socialise with other kids his age, he needed someone who would properly take care of him. Thus they went to the fastest and easiest option that would yield the best results. Then that was that, Elijah’s father patted the top of his head awkwardly and then walked back to the car. His mother never even got out. Nor did she say goodbye. 

The woman introduced herself as Caroline once they went inside. Her son was Elijah’s age, just a few months younger, and his birthday was earlier that month. His name was Gavin and he was very excited to meet his older brother. Elijah looked up at her, and she knelt down to his level. No one...had ever done that before. He didn’t know how to react, so he knelt as well. Miss Caroline laughed, something warm and mirthful, and shook her head with a fond smile. The two of them sat on the floor, a grey shag carpet that was stained in some places from various things. There was a purple stain, probably from some kind of juice, and an orange one right next to it. Maybe sauce of some kind. Elijah had  _ never _ been in that kind of environment. It looked a little dirty, what with toys scattered about and a half finished snack on a coffee table in the living room. Where a cartoon with a boy running around with a piece of magic chalk was playing. The room was...foreign. His living room was large, spacious and very exposed. This one was quite small. With a stained carpet and a cartoon playing despite no child coming to watch the show. At least until Miss Caroline shouted for Gavin, saying the show was back on. 

A young boy with brown hair and grey eyes darted out of a room with slightly oversized superhero pajamas on. He practically skidded to a stop when he met Elijah’s eyes and then he smiled.  _ He smiled. _ And Elijah couldn’t help the shakiness of the smile he gave back to the strange boy who seemed to be his brother. Gavin crashed down on the floor in front of Elijah, grabbing him by his shoulders and pulling him into a quick hug before darting to the couch to finish his snack and watch said cartoon. Elijah found himself to be...dumbfounded. He didn’t understand what was happening. He didn’t say a word, and yet this strange boy had accepted him into his home. With a hug no less! Miss Caroline said she would take his backpack and set everything up for him, though paused when Elijah held his bag closer to his chest. He softly whispered he would do it. He knew how to put his clothes away. Miss Caroline seemed disappointed but smiled still as she led him into a room with bunk beds. She explained that he was going to be on the top bunk, and then pointed out the dresser he would be putting his clothes in. Small, but not too small. Elijah dutifully and carefully took his clothes out of his backpack and set them down in the drawers. Once he was finished, Miss Caroline put her hand out asking for his backpack. He gave it to her and followed her back to the living room, instructing him to take his shoes off and leave them by the door. 

There were another pair of children’s sneakers next to the door. Caked with mud and had pictures of  _ The Incredibles _ on the outer sides of the shoes. Elijah always wanted to see the movie. When he looked around, he noticed Gavin looking back at him. He sheepishly smiled and explained he was very excited to meet him and hoped they would get along. Apparently he didn’t exactly have many friends. A grin broke out on his face, and he asked Elijah if he wanted to watch anything in particular. The offer was kind. As was Gavin gently taking him by the wrist and guiding him over to a cabinet the television was sitting on top of, stacked with DVD cases and even a few old VHS tapes. There in the front, with smudges on the side, was a case for  _ The Incredibles, _ and Elijah chose to pull that one out from among the rest. It had even more smudges on the front cover, even a few streaks of colour. Gavin laughed, and it was so full of delight and happiness, and set up the DVD player for the movie. He couldn’t do all of it, he explained, but he was getting better at it every time he tried. Elijah effortlessly set up the cables and changed the television to the proper setting for the player. He found himself overwhelmed by just how impressed Gavin was with him, and they sat down on the couch together to watch it. Elijah scooted closer over time, as did Gavin, before they ended up clutching to each other and shouting excitedly about the movie together. Elijah was...enamoured. He liked superheroes. So did Gavin. They had something in common, and it was something  _ really _ cool. Miss Caroline eventually called for them both, saying it was time for lunch. 

Elijah hadn’t even realised he stepped right over that purple stain in the carpet in his haste to race Gavin to the kitchen. 

  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

_ October 31st 2009 4:16 PM _

  
  


One of the first things Elijah realised he never experienced was Halloween. Gavin seemed to be very excited to be a pirate, meanwhile Elijah had no idea what he was going to be. Which had resulted in the mess that was Gavin and Elijah’s dressers. Clothes were strewn about the room and mildly freaking Elijah out. He was used to order, to uniform formations. This was...utter chaos. Though it also was kind of fun to be able to throw his clothes around and mix and match with various other articles of clothing Gavin had. Gavin was pretty keen on helping him make his own pirate costume. Elijah wanted to be a little business man. Though it involved putting on his perfect shoes, the little oxfords his father had given him. Gavin didn’t understand why the thought was so heinous. To be fair, he didn’t understand most of Elijah’s worries. Elijah thought that was part of the reason as to why he liked him so much. Also because he liked superheroes and they were pretty cool. 

Currently, they were almost putting on something like a child’s fashion show. Gavin just adored looking through Elijah’s clothes and seeing just how differently they dressed. Gavin was more of a slightly wrinkly tee on any colour in the rainbow and blue jeans, whereas Elijah liked to stick to the darker colours and keep them smoothed out. He didn’t wear jeans, he preferred slacks, or as close as he could get to them. He also had a few dress shirts that he would wear on occasion. Every time he walked out of his and Gavin’s room wearing one of them, Miss Caroline’s smile faltered just a little bit. She tried to get him to wear something more like what Gavin did, even going so far as to saying she would pick out his shirt for the day. Though at his frustrated tears, she left it alone from then on. He liked the way he dressed. He had no problem with how Gavin dressed, nor if he was seen next to the boy, but he preferred to dress the way he always did. Prim and proper, as every little boy should. He even had his own little black suspenders he wore over his shoulders. He wasn’t one of those people who let the straps hang off of himself, he wore them properly. 

Needless to say, living with Gavin and his mother was an adjustment. Holidays were commonplace in their home, it seemed. Elijah’s parents didn’t particularly care for celebrations such as Halloween, thus he had never gone out trick or treating. The concept was still rather strange to him. Children and teenagers dressed up in costumes and went from door to door to ask for candy from people they had never met, when they were explicitly told to never accept candy from strangers. When he voiced his concerns to Miss Caroline, she just laughed and said that she would be there with them. She knew the people around the town, so it would be much safer. Elijah smiled when she put a hand on his shoulder and gently rubbed at it, and accepted her statement as fact. It was much easier to handle knowing that someone who actually welcomed his concerns would take care of him. His parents had just brushed off his concerns, telling him there was no reason for them. But Miss Caroline would listen to him, nodding along, and then tell him exactly  _ why _ he didn’t need to worry. She was kind. She took care of him, and he liked her a lot because of that. 

Which was why he asked for her recommendations for costumes. Elijah wandered into the living room, where she was making Gavin’s red sash for his costume, and smiled when she happily greeted him. Elijah told her about the current predicament as well as the slight mess in his and Gavin’s room. Though Miss Caroline only smiled and said she would have some input he could make some use of. She stood in the doorway overlooking the mess the two boys had made, and listened intently as they both tried to explain what was going on. It wasn’t until Elijah heard himself talking that he realised he actually did want to be a pirate with Gavin. He felt like he could trust them both, that he and Gavin would be safe, that Miss Caroline wouldn’t mind if he asked for a sash as well. Elijah grinned up at her and asked if he could be a pirate as well. The other two had stopped everything, Gavin even dropped the pile of clothes he had been picking up, and stared at Elijah. Miss Caroline started to tear up and smiled, softly remarking that it was the first time she had seen Elijah truly smile. He hadn’t...realised he hadn’t smiled like that in front of them yet. Gavin, however, threw himself at Elijah in a hug. 

The rest of getting ready and putting clothes away was a little bit of an excited blur. Gavin and Elijah rapidly spoke with one another, running around the cottage and pretending to be pirates. Gavin said he needed practice in the pretending part of things. Elijah said he’d be able to do it fully well, but lowered his voice and mumbled that he’d still do it because Gavin recommended it. Which resulted in the two jumping from room to room, shouting excitedly and exclaiming things they believed pirates did. It was mostly pirate-themed jokes and other various things children associated with them. Elijah knew that real pirates were nothing like that. He knew that they were much meaner and much more deadly in history. Though that didn’t stop him from smiling and shouting at Gavin with a pirate voice, ducking around corners and playing pretend. Elijah was just about to jump out and drag Gavin with him to the treasure chest, when the younger stopped. He turned around with a glint in his eye, grabbed Elijah by the wrist, and dragged him into the living room. It was a bit disorienting at first to be dragged along by another person. Though once he saw Gavin going through the cabinet to find a movie, he realised he didn’t exactly mind it. 

Gavin held up  _ Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl _ with a triumphant shout, and Elijah couldn’t help the little huff of a laugh that came out of him. He set up the cables, and Gavin set up the player. Miss Caroline moved her sewing machine to the side on the coffee table, and patted the couch for the boys to sit up with her. Elijah had never really...watched a movie with his parents. Nothing that he ever was properly interested in at least. The young boy tentatively sat between Gavin and his mother with tense muscles. Though upon hearing both of his companions humming or singing along to the music, Elijah began to relax a bit more. He relaxed more and more as the movie went on, only becoming restless as Miss Caroline paused the movie to tell them they needed to take a quick break. It was apparently two and a half hours long. Which, to Elijah, didn’t seem like it was such a big deal. He was used to sitting down and watching documentaries for hours on end. Watching documentary after documentary about robotics and inventions. 

He used to tell his mother he was going to be a roboticist, he was going to help make human life easier. He never told her it was so she would spend more time with him. She never listened for long enough to know that was what he meant to say, either. Elijah knew he was a gifted child. Everyone said he was, at least. Which apparently meant that he had a lot more responsibilities. He needed to do more schoolwork, he also needed to do harder work. Every paper he got was for kids a few years older than him. Every test increased in difficulty until he had left. Each and every thing he said or did was analysed and watched, people needed to know he was continuing with his studies as normal. To be honest, Elijah much rather preferred being able to breeze through his classes. He also preferred to be spoken to about what he did a recess rather than what complex equations he solved. Life was much simpler with the Reeds, and he thought he could get used to it rather quickly. All he needed to do was keep up with being on Gavin’s level so they could stay in the same class, then it would be smooth sailing from then on. 

Though eventually the break ended, and Elijah was also glad for that. He liked Captain Jack Sparrow. He liked pirates and music and fighting evils that were only real in stories such as the one he was watching. Elijah liked sitting between two people and watching a movie he actually enjoyed. He liked being in a place that wanted him and liked it when he got happy. That paid attention to him for long enough to be able to tell if he  _ was _ happy. He settled into the couch beside Miss Caroline and Gavin, opting to curl into himself a little in a more comfortable position, and he watched the movie with rapt interest. He could see why Gavin loved it so much, why he loved pirates. Pirate crews were dysfunctional, yet they were still a family. They looked out for one another and purposefully sought others out to check up on them. The idea was still very, very foreign to Elijah, though he was beginning to suspect that he would understand it soon enough. His mother said he would be there for the foreseeable future. Which meant he needed to get used to messy houses and odd schedules and notes left in his lunchbox that wished him a good day. 

Soon enough, the movie ended and Miss Caroline presented the two boys with two very simplistic red sashes to tie around their waists. Gavin beamed at the material and thanked his mother with a kiss on the cheek. At least before scampering off to his and Elijah’s room to go put on his costume. Oh, he hadn’t realised the time. Elijah sheepishly apologised about how late it was, and hurried to go get changed into the clothes Gavin had told him were the most pirate-y. The process of getting into being a pirate was...strange. It was filled with jokes and pretend swords and exclamations from the movie. Elijah liked it. He liked how his shirt was half open, his borrowed dusty black jeans from Gavin, and the red sash he tucked through the belt loops. The sash Miss Caroline had made just for him. Elijah treasured it and went out into the dining room. Miss Caroline had said she was going to paint on their faces to make them look more like real pirates. Gavin went first, seeing as Elijah wanted to know just what Miss Caroline was going to draw. Also because he was very curious. After around ten minutes, Gavin hopped down from the chair sporting fake scars and angry eyebrows, as well as scrawled lines for a beard. Elijah opted against the paint after all, and settled for walking beside the two as they set out to the street. 

Looking around outside was almost surreal. A lot of the kids were with their parents or older siblings. Some were princesses or knights or vampires or zombies. There were quite a few children dressed as animals as well. Realistically, Elijah knew quite a few families lived on that road. Gavin had even dragged him over to one of his friends’ houses to hang out. But seeing  _ that _ many families outside and walking around, going door to door and talking with strangers so effortlessly, it was almost overwhelming. Elijah wanted to go back inside. He also wanted to stay because he and Gavin were pirates, a person couldn’t just separate a pirate crew. So he bit his cheek gently and walked with the Reeds. They ran into a few kids from the bus, a few from recess, and Gavin got along with all of them magnificently. Elijah stood by Miss Caroline’s leg and waited in a horribly painfully awkward way for the conversation to be over so they could keep walking around. 

At least until Miss Caroline took his hand and they started walking around like that instead. Elijah never really knew that physical touch was so...inviting. He knew it was important, especially to the Reeds, but he had never known that he particularly liked it. Not until Miss Caroline used him as an excuse to keep going instead of Gavin socialising. Elijah knew it was a lie. He appreciated how she looked out for him anyway. By the time they went back to the cottage, she had used the excuse six times. Nearly seven, but Gavin had been able to restrain himself and hurried on to walk with his mother. Once inside, the two boys practically dropped on the floor. Gavin so he could look through his candy; Elijah because he was so emotionally overwhelmed that he didn’t know what to do. But they sat together on the floor in the living room together anyway. Gavin told Elijah about which candies were the best and which ones weren’t all that great. Like how  _ Crunch _ bars were pretty great, but not top tier, and how everyone gave out  _ Tootsie Rolls _ despite none of the kids on the block liking them. It was overwhelming. But a good kind. 

Before Elijah knew it, he was laughing. A pure and genuine laugh that came from deep within him, one contented and delighted. He hugged Gavin and told him he was glad they went trick or treating, and that he couldn’t wait to do it again the next year. 

  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

_September 17th 2017 12:34 AM_

  
  


Gavin rolled around on his bunk, only slightly irritated by the light shining down to the floor. Elijah was reading one of his textbooks well into the night again. Not that he was proud to say Elijah was his brother, in fact he was the first to say it out of the two, but he also liked to be able to actually sleep. It wasn’t all that much of a surprise to find out he was some sort of child genius. At least in Gavin's honest opinion. The guy would stay up until three in the morning reading up on the things he liked. Casting a bright white light from the top bunk. Gavin really needed a curtain. Besides, he liked to have his own privacy. In a fit of annoyance and slight sleep-deprivation, he reached for his nightstand and grabbed the pad of paper that was there. The pad of paper Elijah regularly stole to sketch out blueprints for... _something_ in the middle of the night. They were all really vague and creepy. Kinda people shaped, but also very _not_ people looking. Little notes scrawled in the margins with little arrows pointing to specific parts. It was creepy. 

Nonetheless, Gavin grabbed the pad of paper and the nearly empty blue pen. _Ask for a blackout curtain_ was hastily written in fading ink. Though he supposed he wouldn’t really need it for too much longer. Gavin put the notepad and pen back with an annoyed sigh and then laid back down. There were still little doodles on the underside of the top bunk. Neither of them were artists now, forget about when they were little kids. Though the little robots and pirates were endearing. He couldn’t really remember what was going on when they drew the pictures, only that they had a lot of fun doing it. Also that they technically weren’t supposed to draw on the bed frames. But hey, what their mom didn’t know, she couldn’t punish them for. Gavin smiled to himself and looked toward the light. Elijah was such an uptight dork when he first got to the house. He barely smiled, he always called their mom Miss Caroline, never made a mess, always spoke so formally. Gavin smirked to himself and crossed his arms triumphantly behind his head, he was a good bad influence on his brother. Getting him to loosen up when they were kids so he could have some semblance of a normal childhood. 

The light turned off, and a slightly nasally voice said goodnight in a hushed whisper. Gavin only grunted in return and rolled over to his side, one arm under his pillow. It was hard to actually be able to sleep when Elijah was climbing down the ladder with a textbook in his arm. It was all wobbly and shaky, making the rest of the bunk beds shudder with the movement. Gavin didn’t exactly mind, but it was super annoying still. He could see a vague outline of Elijah in front of his dresser in the near pitch-black darkness. Light flooded in from the rest of the city, of course. But the curtains were drawn. Something about Elijah being paranoid and not wanting people to see what he was working on. Gavin didn’t get it but he humoured his brother. His brother who sneezed and made an upset noise at it, causing Gavin to try his best to hold in his laughter. He felt like he was gonna pop a blood vessel in his eye or something. 

  
  


“Hey Eli,” Gavin whispered. He also snorted when Elijah jumped. “What were ya reading tonight?”

“Just something on robotics. Why they’ve failed thus far to create a fully functioning android.” Elijah started climbing back up the ladder and shook the beds. “I’ve got a theory as to why they never worked, but I won’t know anything until I actually try. But it’s a pretty solid idea. I’m gonna try it as soon as I can.”

“You’re such a freakin’ nerd, dude.” Gavin paused when he only heard the rustling of blankets. “But you’re the good kind, I guess? You’re the kind that’s gonna help the world.”

“Thanks, Gav.” Elijah let out a breathy little laugh, and Gavin grinned up at the underside of the top bunk. “We’ve got school tomorrow-- Or later today? We should get to bed. Goodnight, Gav.”

  
  


He wished he could actually fall asleep. But Elijah was an insomniac, it was part of the reason why he stayed up late reading, which meant he would be tossing and turning in bed for a little while longer. Meaning the beds would shake and Gavin wouldn’t be able to sleep unless he was in a coma or something. But it gave him time to think, at least. There were so many things he never saw himself enjoying without Elijah’s influence. So many things Elijah never saw himself liking without Gavin’s influence. They got each other into different subjects, challenged each other, fought like siblings did from time to time. Elijah never thought he’d be one to like sports, but up there on the wall was a hockey jersey of his favourite player. Gavin never thought he’d like chess, but there on his dresser was a compact chess set. They constantly baited each other to push their limits. In Elijah’s case, physically. In Gavin’s, mentally. They both were seen as very smart students in their own rights. Their teachers would constantly congratulate them on their grades and tell them they were going to do some great things once they graduated. Elijah usually smiled and thanked them, Gavin’s face went bright red and he shoved his hands in his pockets. 

Though there were also the comparisons. Where one brother excelled, the other needed quite a bit of improvement. Gavin could never escape the references to Elijah in his science and math classes. Elijah could never escape the ones to Gavin in P.E. and workshop. They were the two star pupils of their high school. Both smart in their own rights and had generally good heads on their shoulders. Gavin was a bit hot-headed and quick to anger, and Elijah was a tad too aloof sometimes. But they both meant well. Elijah constantly offered to tutor students having trouble in science and math. Gavin… Well, he spotted kids in the weight room all the time. So that had to be something. No matter how talented each of them were though, Gavin was in Elijah’s shadow. They were different kinds of talented. Physical and mental. People usually said Gavin would be great for mechanics, or repair, or basically any manual labour. People praised Elijah and told him he should be a scientist, a roboticist; no one said he should be a businessman anymore. Not after the death-glare Elijah sent to the person who said it. Gavin didn’t blame him for being so angry about it. 

He didn’t know much about Elijah’s parents. Only that they had abandoned him as a child. Telling him that it would be better for him to interact with a kid his age and that they were very busy people. Elijah got so frustrated when he was telling Gavin about it that he cried. Gavin never outwardly asked about his parents again, only getting tidbits of information every now and again when Elijah would let himself slip. How their house was perfect to a suffocating degree. The white carpet in his room that he pulled a fibre out of the day he left them. How his mother would get upset and a little frustrated when talking about him to her friends over wine. It was such a lonely and pressuring existence. Gavin could never understand a life like that, never understand how Elijah grew up way too quickly, but he could understand that it hurt him irreparably. 

Their lives were so incredibly different even now. Sharing a room, having a bunk bed, having some of the same classes. Mostly workshop and phys. ed, but that was beside the point. The point was that they came from two incredibly different walks of life. Gavin was raised by a loving mother who was always there for him if he should so need her. Elijah was raised by emotionally, and physically, distant parents at best. At the thought of that being their best, Gavin immediately shoved the wandering thoughts of what they were like at their worst away. It wasn’t like Elijah had bruises when they met. But the thought was still a little...much for Gavin at half past midnight. A soft sigh escaped him as he looked at the few streams of light spilling in from between the curtains. Did Elijah look out his window at night like Gavin did as a kid? Wondering just what was beyond Detroit? Or just wondering what life would be like when he was old enough to drive and get out of the house? Because there was so much more to the world than just their city, and Gavin wanted to know just what was happening in it. 

There was the sound of something plush hitting the ground, Gavin watched as it fell even, and a soft curse from up above his head. Oh. Elijah dropped his little parrot. Gavin’s eyes wandered to his own, zip-tied to the frame of the bed right by his head. Some _Beanie Baby_ that their mom had given them when they were kids. Elijah kept his resting right next to his pillow on the bed, and it would sometimes fall to the ground during the night. Gavin made some incoherent noise and grabbed the bird in his right hand. The fabric wasn’t as soft as he remembered it being. In fact, it was almost rough from the years of being held in his brother’s sleep. With another sound, he tossed the bird back up toward the top bunk, a huff of annoyance leaving him as it hit the ceiling and fell back down near his hand. It took a few tries before it actually landed up there. 

  
  


“Why do you still sleep with that thing?” Gavin rolled onto his other side, facing the window and watching the little dots of colour through the crack between the curtains. 

“Mom got it for me, it’s important.” Elijah’s voice was tired. Also annoyed. He must have been having a tough time getting to sleep. “It was one of the first things someone had given me just because I liked it. You know that, Gavin.”

“Don’t take your sleep-deprivation out on me, man. I’m just as tired as you are.” Gavin paused when he heard sirens and saw the accompanying red and blue lights streak through the curtains. “Why don’t you just take melatonin or something?”

“Makes me feel sick.” Silence stretched on between the brothers before Elijah made a discontent sound. “It also tastes bad.”

“God, you’re such a weenie.” Gavin grabbed a stray shirt on the floor and tossed it up at Elijah. It must have hit it’s mark, going off of the barely suppressed shriek. “See? Weenie.”

“Goodnight, Gavin.”

“Nah, you’re bored.” Gavin crawled out of bed and started climbing the ladder. As he reached the top, Elijah had already moved over and given him room to sit. “Let’s talk about stuff. Neither of us are getting any real sleep tonight, so why not, y’know?”

  
  


So they did. Elijah started talking about the _Lord of the Rings,_ and Gavin spouted off some stuff from his classes. To be completely honest, he didn’t think either of them would remember much of the conversation later. It was going to be a mess. A blur of hushed voices and odd quiet laughter. Of threats of pushing each other off the bunk and snickering while the other rolled their eyes. Gavin didn’t care. He also didn’t think that Elijah would either. Most of their late night talks were about stupid stuff like that. Just...whatever was going through their heads at the time. Like a stream of consciousness but with speech, they would say whatever they felt and no judgement would be passed. Elijah could complain about working out his body instead of his mind, and Gavin could shit-talk the health teacher. In Gavin’s defense, the guy was so old that he had taught their _mother._ So of course he was going to be teaching outdated stuff. 

It wasn’t until Gavin’s watch beeped for four in the morning that he realised how late it was. Late, or early? Time was relative, as Elijah kept reminding him. He usually got up at four to get in the shower before their mom woke up. He hated using the shower after she did, her hair was all in the drain. Not that it was her fault! But it was just so long and there was always so much of it that Gavin couldn’t help but be annoyed by it. That being known, Gavin patted Elijah’s shoulder and facetiously referred to him as Sleeping Beauty as he practically slid down the ladder. Alrighty then, Gavin grabbed some clothes. Just the usual whatever dark shirt he had and some blue jeans, as well as silly patterned socks and boxers. What was the point in dressing like everyone else if he didn’t spice it up sometimes, y’know? Besides, it was always a treat to go up to one of his friends and ask if they wanted to see his socks. He usually got a weird look before the sheer absurdity of the question spurred whoever it was to say that they actually were curious about his socks. 

A vague thud somewhere else in the house told him his mother was actually awake, and Gavin hissed out a curse. Did she get up early just to scold him for staying up all night? Or did she have an early shift that day? Though she usually told the boys if she would be gone by the time they woke up. Bad things rushed through Gavin’s head, they did live in a big city after all. But the sound of his mother coughing, strangely, eased him a little bit. So she was kind of sick and couldn’t sleep because of it. That was a lot easier to handle. He went on his merry way into the bathroom to take his shower. Gavin would have felt bad if he startled his mom when she didn’t feel good, so he’d greet her once he got out. Besides, it wasn’t like it was going to be very long. 

  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

_November 15th 2018 9:03 AM_

  
  


“Hey Eli!” Gavin gripped his backpack’s strap in one hand and waved down his brother with the other. Elijah paused in his conversation, apologising to whoever he was talking to, and turned to face Gavin. “I got a question for that big scientist brain of yours.”

“Then can’t you ask me later? We’ve got the same lunch period today.” The brothers started walking down the main hall again, Gavin sneering at the people who gave them odd looks. “Gavin, stop that, you’re being rude. Listen,” Elijah sighed and put a hand on his brother’s free shoulder. “Depending on how important it is, I’ll answer it here and now.”

“Don’t you think Mom has been acting different lately?” Gavin hated the way his stomach plummeted as Elijah looked down at the floor. “Eli, c’mon, you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

“We’ll talk about that in the car on the way home, Gavin.” Elijah patted Gavin’s shoulder before passing him to go to his next class. “It’s something I don’t think she wants us to know.”

  
  


Something akin to a panicked dread went and weighed down every part of Gavin. Even the parts that weren’t physical. Especially those, actually. Okay, it was okay. Everything was fine. Everything was absolutely, positively _fine._ Gavin subtly shook himself out and proceeded to his next class. He at least got to sit next to Chris, so maybe they could dick around in the back of the classroom and talk about it. Once in his seat with his feet kicked up on the desk to relax, Gavin waved Chris over. He was pretty new to their school and didn’t have too many friends. Apparently the kid didn’t have many friends to begin with, only vaguely mentioning a few from his old school. In Connecticut. What even was _in_ Connecticut other than a bunch of trees and villages? Gavin had to give it to him, living there for sixteen years before coming into the city. It must have been pretty jarring for him. Apparently he was actually _from_ one of those villages. He usually confirmed that Connecticut mostly just had trees and villages. There was nothing to do in his hometown apparently. 

Nevertheless, Gavin grinned as his friend rigidly sat in the chair next to him. Chris was still getting used to Detroit and would probably never entirely loosen up until he got out into it more. With an exuberant kick, Gavin lifted his legs off of his desk and slammed his feet back on the tile loudly. A few of the girls glared at him but that was no biggie. He tore out a piece of notebook paper, wadded it up into a ball, and then tossed it at Chris’ head. He tossed it back at Gavin’s, much to his amusement. The rest of their ninety minute class passed in much of the same manner. Gavin trying his best to annoy Chris, and Chris who was so used to Gavin’s shit by now that he just let it all happen. By the time the bell rang and all the First Lunch kids meandered around to the cafeteria, Gavin and Chris had already talked at length about the subject. Chris thought that whatever it was had to be important. Maybe not entirely as earth-shattering as Elijah was making it out to be. But it definitely had to be very important if he didn’t answer right away. 

Besides, it was stupid enough as it was. They didn’t need to spend any more time burning more brain cells than they actually had. Gavin was well aware of the jab hidden in the statement and elbowed Chris in the ribs just enough to get a reaction out of him. A companionable silence stretched between the two boys while they watched other students stroll by. Some of them were stragglers going to lunch, some of them going to classes, others were practically loitering in the halls just like the two of them. Some girl waved at Gavin with a rosy blush on her face, which made him nervously wave back. At this point he was pretty sure he was gay, but honestly had never dated anyone so he figured he’d do his best to be polite anyway. Which Chris promptly made fun of him for. Why wave to the girl if he wasn't interested in her? She was pretty, had good grades, was one of the only popular kids that wasn’t a complete asshole. Gavin would usually roll his eyes and say that, oh, by all means, Chris could take her on a date for him. But today wasn’t a regular day it seemed, and Gavin only laughed and said he’d see Chris in workshop. He had other stuff on his mind anyway. 

  
  


\---

  
  


_November 15th 2018 2:05 PM_

  
  


Nervous. Scared. Paranoid, really. Gavin tried listing off the flurry of emotions he had running through his head. Also through his body, because wow was his heart racing. On one hand there was the fear and apprehension. On the other was the anger and annoyance. Elijah had every right to be secretive about it in school, public high school was a walking gossip factory that was able to make kids wanna drop dead from embarrassment all the time. Elijah had no right to be that secretive if it was something as important as he made it out to be. There was probably nothing to actually worry about. It was just drama. There was enough of it to go around between the two brothers, so it would be understandable for Elijah to get dramatic if he hadn’t slept much. Which Gavin knew he hadn’t. As evident from all of the late-night study sessions and sketching he overheard from the bottom bunk. It was annoying as all hell but he’d deal with it. He always did. 

The cold winter of Detroit did little to settle any nerves. In fact, it probably frayed them more as Gavin saw Elijah standing outside of the car, leaning against the hood. If he was waiting… Well, Gavin had no idea what it might mean if he was waiting. Usually they met at the front doors after the final bell, and would rush to the car together. It was always cold as tits outside and neither of them appreciated that very much. So to forgo their silly little tradition was practically blasphemy, and Gavin knew Elijah realised that. Neither of them spoke once they both buckled themselves into the warm car. The only sound was Gavin opening the glovebox to grab the pack of tissues he kept in there for cold winter days. As well as allergy season, but that was beside the point. The point was that Elijah seemed to be avoiding him. Despite being around a foot away from each other. He only paused ot look at Gavin when he got ready to back out of the parking space, putting a hand on the back of the headrest of the passenger’s seat. They caught each other’s eyes and as Gavin opened his mouth to ask what was happening, Elijah looked away and started backing up. It wasn’t until they were already most of the way home that ELijah actually spoke. Trading metropolitan streets and alleys for suburban houses and a light peppering of trees in lawns. It wasn’t Elijah’s voice that Gavin noticed first. It was the fact that he could hear the leather of the steering wheel being rubbed against harshly by his brother’s hands. Elijah’s knuckles were nearly white before he forced his hands to relax and took a shallow breath. 

  
  


“Mom told me she’s got bronchitis.” Elijah glanced at Gavin before returning his eyes to the road. Gavin didn’t miss the way his hands tightened around the steering wheel. “I don't think that’s what it is. She’s had that cough for much longer than how long treated bronchitis lasts.”

“So we keep an eye on ‘er, then. Problem solved, Eli. Why’re you so upset?”

“Loss of appetite, a cough that doesn’t go away or seems to get worse, hoarseness, shortness of breath--”

“Eli, you’re freakin’ me out, here,” Gavin chuckled nervously and never took his eyes off of his brother. “What are you doing?”

“Feeling tired or weak, new wheezing, infections such as bronchitis and pneumonia that won't go away or keep coming back.” Elijah continued relatively undisturbed. At least vocally he seemed unphased; his knuckles turned white from his grip and he kept blinking. “Chest pain that is often worse with deep breathing, coughing, or laughing--”

“Elijah, pull the fucking car over and tell me what’s going on!” 

  
  


Gavin half yelled, tears threatening to spill over in his fear. Elijah pulled the car over to the side of the road, struggling to breathe properly and starting to tug at his ponytail to keep himself grounded. Gavin knew he did that. He knew better than to try and untangle his brother’s hands from his hair, too. Instead, watching in mild terror as Elijah started to cry, hiccups coming out of him as he suddenly ripped his hands from his head and slammed his fists against the steering wheel. Gavin could only watch in morbid fascination as he witnessed his brother’s meltdown. Elijah rarely ever lost control of his emotions, always keeping them on a tight leash and never letting anyone see them. Gavin...didn’t know what to do. Past experience told him better than to even try to touch Elijah in his current state. Said current state made him want to drag his brother into a tight hug and never let go. 

So he did just that. Gavin unbuckled himself and reached over to Elijah. Try as the boy might, he was unable to free himself in his state. The pained sounds he made almost made Gavin let go. They almost made him second-guess his decision. At least until Elijah had turned to grab at his shirt, something he had never actually done before. Not when they were kids, not when he got scared at that haunted house a few years ago, and certainly not now. The fact that he had chosen to show such vulnerability was...huge. Elijah never let anyone in. After the whole thing of him graduating two years ahead of schedule and finding out he was accepted into the first college he chose; he didn’t want to let anyone in because he knew he’d just have to leave them in a few months. The knowledge that he would be abandoning people made him stressed as all hell. It hit him a lot harder than he let on, and created a downward spiral that always ended up nearly out of control eventually. Gavin was there to pick up the pieces every time. He just hoped and prayed that Elijah would _let_ him pick up the pieces this time. 

  
  


“I think Mom’s dying.”

“Y-You _what_?” Gavin pulled away a little bit at Elijah’s words. His brother just slumped rather bonelessly against his chest. “Elijah Arthur Reed, I need you to fucking clarify that for me. What do you mean you think Mom is dying.”

“Those are symptoms of lung cancer. She used to smoke before she had you, she still hangs out in the smoker areas on her breaks because her friends hang out there.” Elijah managed to shudder out a bitter sigh and sat upright in his seat, scrubbing what was left of his tears away. “So she’s still around smoke, it’s still getting into her lungs, she was still at risk of getting it.”

“That doesn’t mean she’s fucking _dying,_ Elijah!”

“When she’s had that cough for fucking _years_ it just might!”

  
  


He was right. Elijah was right about how long she had that cough, and Gavin hated him for it. It was sparse at first. A few ragged coughs over the span of a few minutes, but only ever a couple months apart. They always thought it was from being a smoker in the past. It was the most logical conclusion to draw at least. They never thought anything of the strange cough that would come and go every couple of months like clockwork. They were just infrequent enough no one had noticed that it was a regular thing. But it was always around flu season, always around when allergy season started. Gavin had allergies, he got the flu every year; just like his mom did. So they didn’t think anything of it. It was normal. It was a fact of life that she got sick at the end of the summer. That she got all stuffy and nasally-sounding in the spring. Random enough to be passed off as a symptom of whatever was going on at the time. But frequent enough for it to get Elijah curious and talk to her about it. 

He said that _she_ told him it was bronchitis. 

Never that her _doctor_ said it was. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as a fucker that lives in connecticut, i can 100% say that theres fucking nothing to do here. we got trees and villages. thats about it. a few nice state parks. but,,,, that and some of the big malls in certain cities are the only big things going for us. other than Foxwoods, Criss Angel regularly does (or did considering the state of things right now?) shows up at Foxwoods. seeing one of his shows was a wild fuckin' experience, let me tell you whoo boy


	5. Chapter 5

_December 8th 2018 11:35 AM_

  
  


The house was filled with a tense silence now. Neither of the boys had actually confronted their mother about it, opting to sit and observe more than anything else. Gavin seemed to have a natural talent for it. Elijah only did sometimes, mostly when he was working on some blue liquid. Thirium, he called it. He had gone through over two hundred different ways to try and make it. There was some...crude blue heart on his workbench in their room that he moved into the living room. Easier to keep an eye on their mother, he assured his brother. The smug expression wasn’t missed though. They both knew that Gavin absolutely hated the thing and thought it was too uncanny valley; despite it only being a heart and not a whole person-looking thing. Their mother absolutely loved that he moved the bench, and would ask him how things with the blue liquid was going every time she passed by him. It didn’t take a robot to scan and see just how much Elijah analysed their mother. If she noticed, she didn’t let it show, and she always gave the boys a smile and a wave before going off to wherever she was going. 

Today was such a day. Elijah sitting at his workbench in a corner of the living room, right under a whole bunch of family photos on the wall. They were from his first year with the Reeds, each one showing more and more of the goofy kid he was underneath all of the child genius. Gavin was on the couch, legs propped up on the coffee table and flipping through the channels with a bored haze clouding his mind. Through movie channels, cartoons, drama, thriller, even a few horror movies went by. Gavin wasn’t interested in any of them. Mostly because he wasn’t interested in anything lately. Ever since Elijah had listed off the...symptoms, he had been watching their mother. Trying to see as much as he could. Trying to catch enough to disprove his theory, and tell him that he was being irrational. Though with each thought telling Gavin that his brother was overreaction, there was a counter that told him he was underreacting. They needed to look out for their mother. She was a single parent with two teenage boys that were more than a little odd. Elijah usually got elbow deep in robots, and Gavin was out breaking curfew with his friends any time he could. 

While Elijah was more or less of a star student, he was a pretty boring person. He got up, got ready, studied robotics while he ate breakfast, went to school and passed his classes with flying colours, then came home to work on that creepy blue heart. Gavin on the other hand, was a rebellious and wild child. He liked to go over to Chris’ and get stoned out of their minds, out with his friend Alex to just meander around the local park, break a few minor laws that no one would really shame him for. Like jaywalking! Nobody actually stopped jaywalkers. He also loitered around many a gas station in the last two years, always such fond memories of being brought home by the local police. It wasn’t like they could actually do anything, he was a minor. He even was kinda friends with this one cop. Well not friends, but he had more of a buddy buddy kinda vibe with the guy. Henry, or Hank, or Harold? He couldn’t remember the guy’s name, but he didn’t have to. The cop always remembered Gavin’s. 

Though the point was that the brothers were nearly polar opposites. They both did well in school and looked out for each other in many ways. But the fact of the matter was that there was so much more to life than high school and both of them were eager to figure out just what it would entail. Gavin had thought about going to school for a trade, he really liked the idea of being a welder or builder. Working with his hands seemed like just as good an idea as any. Meanwhile Elijah was going to be shipped off to a university on the east coast in just a few months. He was graduating early and was very excited about it. He mentioned something about a professor who was the top of her field, and that he was going to try his damndest to take some of her classes. It was going to be quite the adjustment. Living life without Elijah in the house. Try as he might, Gavin realised it kind of scared him. They had always stuck together and had each other’s backs no matter what. It was a little scary to suddenly be without his brother, without his best friend. Gavin shook himself out of his thoughts and loudly sighed. 

  
  


“Jesus Gavin, do you know how many times you’ve sighed in the past half hour?”

“Mom’s been out a half hour?” Gavin moved to sit criss-crossed on the couch and shot his brother a quizzical expression. Not that Elijah was looking at him to see it. “Dude, how have you dealt with me changing the channel?”

“I’m assuming you were spacing out, it’s been on a cop drama this entire time.” Elijah finally looked up from his chemical concoction with a lopsided smile. “Or maybe you were watching it. You’ve totally got a crush on that cop that brings you home.”

“I absolutely fucking do not!” He grabbed one of the throw pillows to toss at his brother’s head, even raising his arm up, but dropped it back against the couch with a huff. Their mother would kill him if he fucked with Elijah’s...stuff on the bench. It could give him a chemical burn. “Dude, he’s way too old for me and we both know that! He’s, like, almost twenty years older than me or some shit. Besides, he’s kinda like a weird uncle? He acts like a weird uncle.”

  
  


Elijah hummed and nodded sagely before turning back to his table. There actually was a cop drama on, and Gavin found himself getting invested in it. He asked Elijah about what had been going on thus far, he answered as best as he could. Considering, y’know, his back was to the television and his main focus was elsewhere. Which then resulted in Gavin’s focus being pulled toward whatever Elijah was working on. As well as his body language. Increasing tension in the shoulders, stiffness in his arms, one of his legs bouncing like it was trying to shake the house. He needed a break. Gavin stood up from the couch, stretching his arms out above his head and changing the channel to some mindless _Nickelodeon_ show. Personally, he missed _ChalkZone,_ it was his favorite show growing up. But that was beside the point. The point was that Gavin planned on dragging Elijah out of the hole that was his robotics. Some rerun of _iCarly_ droned on in the background as Gavin came to stand behind his brother’s chair, both of his hands resting against the unused backrest. 

Well there was his problem. He was trying to do too many things that require too many hands when he only had two of them. Before Gavin knew it, he was pulling on a pair of gloves and grabbing one of the chemicals. Elijah vaguely explained that if something went wrong, he wasn’t saying anything. Gavin was going to be the one to explain the incident to their mother. With a shrug and an agreement, he grabbed the mysteriously carbonated-looking liquid and carefully poured it according to Elijah’s instructions. Some...chemical reaction happened and it turned a darker blue. The glove honestly wasn’t all that great to try and hold on to stuff, and so Gavin maneuvered around the chair and his brother to go hold the liquid in his left hand instead. Everything looked pretty good actually. Elijah had cracked a smile for the first time since Gavin had seen him sit at that table earlier. 

For a minute or two, everything was normal again. There was no worry about their mother. There was no over or underreaction. There was no bland cop drama in the background. It was just two brothers doing science stuff together in the living room of their childhood home. One of them knew leagues more than the other on the subject, but the other was just pleased to be there. At least he was until he felt something fizzle at his skin and started to bite at it. Gavin yelped and dropped the glass beaker that once held the fizzy-looking chemical in it. Elijah very quickly stripped Gavin’s gloves off, and dragged him into the bathroom to wash his hands. He said something about it fucking _bubbling_ and proceeded to dunk Gavin’s left hand in the cold water. If the temperature wasn’t enough of a shock, the sight was. There was what looked like a burn on his hand, however it also seemed to be bubbling and honestly looked really gross. Gavin turned his eyes away from the sink and listened as Elijah tried his best to wash his hand, before hissing out a curse and dragging him out of the bathroom. 

  
  


“Alright Gav, don’t worry, you’re fine! You’re going to be just fine!”

“You saying that makes me feel like I’m not fine!” Gavin practically shrieked as his brother shed his own gloves and grabbed his car keys. He barely remembered to lock the door as he dragged his brother out of it. “What the fuck was in that beaker, Eli?!”

“Something experimental, dipshit!” He all but shoved Gavin in the passenger’s seat and slammed the door shut. Once they both were both buckled in, Elijah sped off down the street. “I’ve gotta take you to the hospital, you have a chemical burn! It’s not too serious, but still needs to be looked at!”

“Why are you still yelling?!” Gavin used his good hand to hold on to the handle on the ceiling, tensing up as Elijah sped through a red light at the end of their street.

“Because I’m scared!” Elijah slammed on the brakes hard enough to make them both lurch forward at a red light. “This is why I don’t let you help me with my Thirium experiments! Because I knew shit like this would happen!” There was a beat of silence before Elijah reached into his pocket and tossed his phone in Gavin’s general direction. It clattered to the floor. “Call Mom, tell her where we’re going and what happened. She’s gonna need to be there since we’re under eighteen.”

  
  


With some effort, Gavin managed to open Elijah’s phone and call their mother. Now, Gavin always tried to tell his mother the truth. He didn't like to lie to her. However, some things like getting stoned with Chris and staying out at least four hours past curfew were things he elected not to tell her most of all. This time he couldn’t get away with it. So when she picked up the phone, Gavin immediately spilled what happened. After a minute or so of his stammering and hissing as his hand pulsated in pain, he decided to just put her on speaker so Elijah could answer her questions. Were they wearing the proper PPE? No, because it was a home lab, but they made do with that they had. Did they clean out the wound? Yes, and with cold water. How long was the chemical in contact with his skin? Not too long, only as long as it took to run from the living room to the bathroom. What was the chemical Gavin got burned with? Elijah stammered, saying he made the chemical. He wasn’t sure how to treat it, but knew how to treat the chemicals it was made out of. 

It was a good thing their mother was a nurse up at the hospital, then. She said something about going to lunch, but Gavin had thought it was the next Saturday, not this one. Which meant she wouldn’t be there when they got there. Which meant he was going to have to sit in one of those stupid plastic chairs until she got there and treated his burn. Gavin huffed and leaned back in the seat, reaching out with his good hand to change the radio station. _Human_ started blasting through the speakers and Gavin sat up a little straighter to sing it. It was no secret he enjoyed music, and it was no secret that he was in the school choir. That didn’t mean he didn’t absolutely hate when his family heard him sing. But honestly, right now that was going to calm his nerves significantly, so he swallowed his pride and sang along. Through _Human_ and along with _What About Us_ and even _Closer_ when it came on. He was desperate enough to keep his nerves in check that he actually sang along to _Closer,_ however, what he wasn’t expecting was for Elijah’s shoulders to slump a little bit as he joined in. Alright, whatever. If that was what it took for them both to keep level heads, then they’d sing; and they’d never breathe a word of it to anyone. 

By the time they pulled into the parking lot, and Elijah gave some kid the keys to park the car, they had sang through at least four different songs together. Elijah shot him a look that told him to keep his mouth shut. Gavin gave the look right back to him. The brothers exchanged a nod, and Elijah walked up to reception with Gavin in tow to show the man behind the counter the state of his brother’s hand. His eyes widened and he gave them the clipboard to fill out. It was kinda boring for the emergency room. Two men sat with a little girl over in one corner, some kid who was holding a bin in his lap was in another corner, then their mother came rushing in through the doors they had just come out of. 

Gavin was pretty sure both he and Elijah noticed how quickly she pocketed the vibrantly spotted kerchief after coughing into it. 

He was also pretty sure that it was never spotted to begin with.

  
  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

_December 8th 2018 1:06 PM_

  
  


The salve was pretty gross. It was a milky white and smelled pretty bad. Not awful, Gavin had certainly smelled other terrible things in his life. Like the guy’s locker room. He knew teenage boys were sweaty, he was one for fuck’s sake, but it was impressive just how bad the locker room smelled. Needless to say, burn salve that smelled like really potent hand sanitizer was better than that. Anything was better than that. Gavin flexed his hand a few times when his mother told him to, silently thanking whatever was out there that the chemical hadn’t fucked up his hand. Though the best part, Gavin mused to himself bitterly, was watching her press her thumbs into the burn and asking him if he could feel it. It was pretty gross. Scratch that, Elijah actually gagged when he saw her do it. So it was great, but he also couldn’t actually feel it. He felt the pressure, absolutely. But any and all pain was non-existent. Thus resulting in her sighing and cleaning away the salve delicately. Also resulting in Elijah having to duck and grab the trash so he could retch when their mother started peeling some of the dead skin off of Gavin’s hand. 

Honestly, Gavin was pretty sure he was going to need a break. It was gross and awesome and freaky to see his skin just...peeling off. There was some kind of special tool to actually clean away the dead skin. Well, not really. It looked like long tweezers and some special pair of scissors. But it was still pretty cool! Call him the stereotypical teenage boy, but how gross it was honestly was pretty fascinating. It was slimy looking because of the skin being burned, and the previous salve being placed on his hand, but it was cool. The skin was just starting to actually turn a different colour and texture, so it wasn’t like it had been too long. Besides, Gavin just adored thrusting his hand at his brother and watching him squeeze his eyes shut. Elijah knew by the sixth time Gavin called his name not to actually look over at him. That...just took the fun out of everything. 

It went on for another fifteen minutes before Elijah announced he needed a break from it and left the room. With a laugh and a smirk toward his mother, Gavin said something about Elijah not being able to handle the heat while holding up his hand. Her laughter brought him comfort. It made Elijah smile as he came back in. The three of them made various jokes about chemicals and about burns, each of them getting more and more incoherent as time went on. The force of their laughter forcing their words out in shaky giggly messes. It wasn’t until their mother started laughing so hard she brought her kerchief up and coughed into it that any of them stopped. The reaction from the brothers was instant, and Elijah shot Gavin a stern look.

  
  


“Hey Mom,” Gavin managed a shaky smile as he pointed to the corner of his own mouth. “You’ve got, uhh, somethin’.”

“Oh, thank you sweetheart.” 

  
  


She wiped at the smudge of red with her kerchief. Just like that, it had gone away; and just like that it could be left entirely unspoken about. Gavin nearly smiled and left it at that, just let that be the end of it and let it be. Elijah decided to clear his throat and pull out his phone. Their mother paid him no mind as she continued to wrap up Gavin’s hand and instead focused solely on him. Meaning that Gavin was the one who saw his brother’s eyes flick toward her mother quickly before looking back down at his phone screen, starting to type away at it. Probably some documentation of what had just happened. Failure was very important to the scientific process according to Elijah. Failure could mean the end of their family if Gavin didn’t take that very specific hint. Fearing for what may happen to his family if he weren’t to speak up, Gavin took in a shaky breath and spoke.

  
  


“Mom?” Gavin’s heart broke a little bit when she took a moment to look at him. The silence let him listen, and sure enough there was a slight wheeze he knew didn’t belong to him or his brother. “Can I ask you something? An-And you gotta promise not to be mad at me for asking.”

“Of course, Gavin.” Her smile was kind, though thin lipped. “You know I could never be mad at you for asking a question. Shoot.”

“Eli said some stuff a while ago, listing off sh-- _stuff_ like wheezing and coughing, being tired and bronchitis staying way too long.” 

“That’s not a question, dear.” She shucked off her gloves and disposed of them. “Gavin, I’m not sure I like where you’re going with this. You know if anything’s wrong, you _can_ come to me, don’t you? I know you might not want to all the time and that’s okay, but--”

“Eli says you’re dying.” 

  
  


Everything stopped. Elijah hissed out a curse at his brother, and their mother only stood with a disapproving stare. Honestly, it might have been better if she got mad. That...was never a good look. It made Gavin feel like he had crossed a line. Like he had done something unspeakable. No one should ever disrespect their mother, unless their mother was terrible, but their mother _wasn’t._ She wasn’t a bad person, she loved them and raised them as best as she could. So Gavin had no right to actually disrespect her, to call her out on something. It wasn’t like he was always honest with her all of the time. There was no doubt in his mind that she wasn’t always honest with him either. They both had every right to their own secrets. This felt like it was a secret. Like he was never meant to know any of what he had just said, and that he had just crossed such a big line that it would have some sort of fallout. Gavin tried to will himself to be still. To not get up and drive himself home because of the apparent discomfort in the room. He closed his eyes and drew in a long and shallow breath, opening his eyes again to see their mother’s arms crossed and looking quite pensive herself. 

  
  


“There’s a strong possibility that I could be.”

“Wait, what?” Elijah locked his phone and put it back in his pocket a little too roughly. “No, Mom, c’mon, you can’t say that. That’s--” Elijah swallowed and blinked away tears with an incredulous laugh. “That’s not okay. You don’t joke about that, you know that.”

“You’ve always been so smart, Elijah,” Their mother reached out to brush his hair out of his eyes. Elijah’s smile fell and the utter _terror_ in his eyes was enough to make Gavin look away for a second. Enough to make him take deliberate breaths. “I’m not surprised that you could tell something was wrong.”

  
  


Despite it all, Gavin actually did stand up. He refused to look his mother and brother in the eyes, and he walked right out of the room. He got all the way outside before he realised that some kid who worked there had the keys. Also that Elijah had the form they would need to get the keys back from said kid. So with a scowl on his face and his shoulders slumped, Gavin paused to think of another way to get home. Or maybe to just get somewhere his family wouldn’t be. Maybe he could go over to Chris’ and they could get stoned and talk about how shitty the world was. Maybe he could call up Alex-- He didn’t have his phone on him, fuck. He was also only wearing his slipper socks, so it wasn’t like he could go walking home. From the inner city back to the suburbs? Yeah no. That wasn’t going to work out. With a huff, Gavin started walking. Detroit was his home, it wasn’t like he was going to get lost. That with the benefit of being tall and stocky? Things were going to be just fine if he went walking. 

It was cold as tits outside, especially in flannel pajamas and slipper socks. Gavin highly considered trying to find a payphone so he could ask Chris if he could come get him. Which would have worked if he actually had any quarters on him. He muttered a curse and walked into some shitty convenience store. The cashier looked like they were on their phone, so they wouldn’t notice if he wasn’t wearing any shoes. He meandered the aisles for a few minutes, mostly looking at the stupid keychains they had up on the counter. People were talking about automated cars being made. Gavin picked up the grey tabby cat one and rolled it over in his hands before putting it back and leaving the store. He wondered how long it would take before people had no more physical keys, and therefore no more use of keychains. He hunched his shoulders up and decided to shuffle his way through the freshly falling snow to his usual stomping grounds. The wind whistled, the snow felt like it was freezing him to the bone, his feet were honestly pretty cold. It wouldn’t have been much of a surprise if he looked down and saw two giant ice blocks instead of feet. 

But over by the 7-11 he always loitered at, was a familiar patrol car. It didn’t look like there was anyone inside of it, so he sat on the concrete bench outside of the store and waited. Soon enough, someone in a blue uniform stepped out holding a cup of what didn’t smell like coffee. Gavin didn’t move for a second. He kept his damn mouth shut the one time he was supposed to open it and ask for some help. A pressure built up in his chest and behind his eyes, making them sting until some pitiful noise came out of his throat. He didn’t remember the cop’s name. He called for him anyway, shaking in the snow and managing a smirk while asking him for a ride home. For old time’s sake, he laughed out. The guy just stood there for a second and stared before rushing over and shoving the warm drink in his hands. It was hot chocolate. Gavin barely registered being ushered into the passenger’s seat of the car. But he practically melted as the heat got turned on full blast. 

For a while, neither of them talked. It was obvious they both were confused and uncomfortable. Gavin looked out the window and watched people coming in and out of the store. He could feel the cop’s eyes on him. Still neither of them spoke, at least to each other. Gavin could hear the guy mumble into his radio that he was clocking out from his phone and going home, and then it was silent yet again. There was the sound of leather and fabric shifting, then the regular radio got turned on to a low volume. There was a sigh and then the sound of the steering wheel being tapped against to the beat of whatever pop song was on. Another sigh. 

  
  


“Son, what the hell’re you doin’ out here in this weather dressed like that?”

“I don’t know…” Gavin fiddled with the lid of the drink and held it tightly to warm his stiff fingers. “I do know why. I don’t wanna go home.”

“Gavin,” The cop eyed him curiously, his expression pinched with worry. “What’s going on at home?”

“My mom might be dying apparently.” He barked out a bitter laugh and put the drink in the cup holder a little too hard. The cop looked no more horrified than he had upon recognising Gavin sitting on the bench. “She never told us. It’s been _years_ since she first got that cough. We only know because--” A sob forced it’s way out of his throat, and Gavin leaned over while pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes hard enough to see stars. “Because we saw her in the middle of a coughing fit and she had to come clean.”

“Shit, I can’t imagine what that’s gotta be like for you.” Gavin finally looked up to see that the cop wasn’t even looking at him anymore, he was putting on his seatbelt and waiting for Gavin to put his on. He did just that. “Okay I’ve known you long enough to know you’re not someone who breaks down easy. So thi-this has to be just as bad as it sounds, if not worse.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, man.” Gavin crossed his arms and watched the city pass them both by. He knew the guy was taking him home. 

“I’m not finished, hold on.” At a red light, the cop grabbed a scrap of paper and a pen that had seen better days, and scrawled something on it before handing it to Gavin. “If you, or your family, need anything just let me know. Fuck, I’m practically friends with your mom at this point, kid. Just...don’t keep it inside.”

  
  


The rest of the ride was silent. Some repetitive and shitty pop song came on and both of them scoffed at the sound. They didn’t speak. Gavin made a point to only look out the window, and it seemed that his current companion had elected to let him be. He looked down at the note at another red light. It had a phone number. A _personal_ phone number with the name _Hank Anderson_ written on it hastily. Huh, his name was Hank. So Gavin was right about the name. Two cars were in the driveway when they pulled up to the house, and Gavin very quietly got out of the car. Though he lingered before closing the door. He looked down at the note, then to the ground, then finally back up at Hank. 

  
  


“I’ll put this in my contacts and text you.” Gavin felt his face turn a little red at how relieved Hank looked at that statement. He accepted the cup presented to him without a word just so he could avoid looking at the man for a second. “Thank you, Hank.”

“Course, Gavin. Take care of yourself for me, okay?”

  
  


Gavin only nodded before shutting the door and wasting no time getting inside. He hadn’t even realised Hank slipped the hot chocolate into his hand. With a little smirk, he took a sip and went inside. Hell was waiting for him in there. Why not face it head-on and take as much control as he could of the situation?

  
  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

_December 8th 2018 2:14 PM_

  
  


Elijah was sitting at the dining table with their mother, speaking quietly with her even when Gavin closed the front door. He was talking about postponing going to school. That it could wait because she needed him. Because _Gavin_ would need him. Gavin cleared his throat rather loudly at that to announce his presence, and wasn’t all that surprised when Elijah’s face went a little red. Teenage boys. They didn’t exactly like to wear their hearts on their sleeves because of societal standards. Maybe they should have, it could have meant something would be spoken about sooner. People with bigger emotions tended to speak from them more. Maybe something could have been said, things could have been done. Though he and Elijah weren’t like that. They weren’t the type of people who felt what they felt and had no remorse. They were the type of people who identified an emotion, felt it until it started to become a problem, and then shoved the emotion down. But if they didn’t do that...would it have changed anything? Gavin desperately hoped it would have. 

  
  


\---

  
  


_December 9th 2018 2:28 AM_

  
  


Shit. Blinking a few times, Gavin grabbed his phone and checked the time. It was late, way too fucking late to still be awake. Though, the slight shaking of the bed frame and the barely hidden light told him he wasn’t the only one who was awake. Elijah was up because of course he was. They were brothers, that was _their_ mother. He had every right to be just as stressed and just as upset as Gavin was. He didn’t entirely understand why Elijah wasn’t outwardly showing his emotions like he usually did when he thought Gavin was asleep. But that didn’t exactly matter now, it sounded like he was muttering to himself about something. His voice got more and more erratic as time went on. It was like listening to a mad scientist mumble to himself about his inventions in a movie, it was honestly somewhat comical. Gavin had half a mind to speak up at his brother and ask him just what his deal was. Why he was talking to himself in the middle of the night. Instead, he laid on his back, listening to his brother’s whispered rambling while silently counting the minutes as they passed by. 

A half hour had come and gone by the time Gavin had any nerve to get up out of bed. He tried to move as slowly as possible so he could avoid alerting Elijah to his obvious consciousness. Though, as per his luck, Gavin ended up tumbling out of his bed by a blanket wrapped around his ankle. An exhausted sigh came out of him at the same time an almost frantic snicker came from the top bunk. Right. Because for whatever reason siblings thought the other one being tormented was funny. Well, it was, actually. That was beside the point. The point was that Gavin hauled himself off of the floor and started climbing the ladder to Elijah’s bunk. There was a textbook filled with scrawled notes in the margins, as well as a notebook with notes in blue pen. As well as a sketchbook with a diagram. It looked like the one Elijah had sketched onto that little notepad Gavin kept by the bed. A humanoid figure, but also so very incredibly inhuman. There were arrows and notes and scribbled out words only to be corrected in blue pen next to the scribble. 

Elijah had bags under his eyes, and boy did he look worse for wear. On top of the bags under his eyes, was the fact that they were bloodshot, directly contrasting how light his irises were. He was a little paler than usual, and his hair fell against his forehead despite mostly being in a ponytail. The darkness of his hair made his skin look that much lighter. Though the most concerning thing was that some of the notes didn’t end up on the papers; instead they were written on the back of his forearm and hand. He had an almost manic look in his eye and continued to write in the notebook, as well as adding a few things to the sketch. It wasn’t like Gavin had never seen him in such a state. That was actually the most common way he’d find his brother when investigating the light from the top bunk. But this was a little intense, even for Elijah. 

It was normal to find him passed out on top of a textbook and notebook. Normal to find him passed out on top of his sketchbook and a few pens and pencils scattered around him. But to see just how messy his handwriting was, how frantic he seemed to be writing things down, how quickly he was sketching out the humanoid shape. It was a little overwhelming. Gavin never even tried to wrap his head around the whole science prodigy thing Elijah had going on, he just knew that his brother was good with numbers and that was that. But this was seeing him manic. This was a window into just how occupied Elijah’s mind was during the night. Thoughts racing past and making him think about equations and ratios and how to make… Well, whatever the sketch was. Gavin went to close the textbook, but Elijah slapped a hand down on the pages. The brothers looked at each other blankly for a moment. Okay, Elijah had a rather blank face. Gavin knew he looked rather worried. When Gavin released the book, Elijah retracted his hand and looked down again to continue with whatever he was doing in the sketchbook. 

  
  


“I’m gonna-- I’m gonna speed it up, I’m gonna make Chloe sooner. Just in case, y’know?” Elijah flashed a wicked grin at his brother before diving back into the sketch. “I want her to see Chloe. I want her to know what I’ve been working on, Gavin.”

“That’s...Great, Eli.” Gavin cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “But you know Mom’s gonna love it anyway, right? This robot you’re so hellbent on making is gonna be everything to her.”

“Android, Gavin. She’s going to be an android.”

“What?” Gavin blinked a few times as Elijah tapped on the page with the sketch. “Aren’t they the same thing? Androids are robots.”

“She’s going to be an _android,_ Gavin.” Elijah huffed in an annoyed fashion before continuing. “Robots are plain machines. Anything can be a robot. But an _android,_ ” Elijah looked up at Gavin with a grin. “Has to look humanoid. That’s the difference; one is simply a machine, while the other looks like you and me.”

  
  


Okay, that was wonderful, really, but man did he need to go to bed. Gavin gently closed the textbook, then the notebook, and expectantly looked at his brother. Elijah clicked his pen and closed the sketchbook after a beat. It took a bit of maneuvering, but the two got everything all settled. Elijah pushed his textbook to the side, setting his sketchbook and notebook down on top of it. The pen got hooked into the spiral of one of the books, Gavin couldn’t tell which one. Elijah turned off his mounted lamp and shooed Gavin back down the ladder. Well, back down to the abyss that was the bottom bunk he went, then. If he almost slipped and fell when he heard Elijah continue talking, no he didn’t. Besides, it wasn’t like he’d be able to see it anyway. The guy needed glasses and was super blind without them on. The sound of a soft _tap tap_ made Gavin silently breathe in relief. There was absolutely no way that Elijah would have seen it. His eyes would have needed to adjust to the dark, not to mention he was blind without his glasses on.

As Gavin got settled into his bed, he listened to Elijah speak. Basically all of it went right over his head. Not a single thing past what he knew from his physics class made a damn lick of sense to him. But for whatever reason, Elijah sounded upset. So Gavin listened and asked questions. What was Thirium, what were biocomponents, what was Chloe going to be made out of? Thirium was the chemical they had been making earlier, biocomponents were pieces of hardware that mimicked human organs for the functionality of the android, Chloe was going to be made out of an aluminum alloy and plastic casing. It was...an experience. Learning about androids and how to make them at nearly three in the morning. Elijah had stressed that time and care would both be needed to ensure the success of Chloe and her functionality. Though he also explicitly stated that he would be working on her whenever he had the free time, because he so desperately wanted to show their mother what he could do. He wanted to rush the robot just so their mother could see it.

He was going to be leaving for college in about half a year, he had plenty of time to work out the basics of the robot until then. Besides, their mother said that there was the _possibility_ that she could be dying, not that she actually _was._ So there was really no reason to be getting so worked up about everything. That was their mom, she had always been there for both of them. Sure, one day she wouldn’t be. But that was going to be so far off in the future there was no point in thinking about it now. Elijah had no realistic reason to be scrambling in the way that he was, he always was a little dramatic. He was going to end up finishing that robot in now time anyway. Once he put his mind to something, he would get it done in a matter of days in the very least. Gavin entertained the idea Elijah had ADHD, however Elijah just said he was a genius and knew where his talents laid. So Gavin would usually wink and gently elbow their mother to further sell his point. She usually stayed out of those discussions with a laugh and a cough, saying she wasn’t getting involved. 

Elijah was becoming obsessed with this robot. Obsessed with finishing it and showing to their mother before she died. As absurd as that was. She wasn’t going to die, not within the foreseeable future at least. Gavin was no expert in these things, but he felt his assumption wasn’t too far off. Elijah got so wrapped up in the robot, in the stress he had put himself under in both the situations, that he was reeling and spiralling. He needed something to hold on to. A driving force that would help him as he went along with the robot. If he used his stress to further his creative juices, then it would be a win/win. Get the robot done before going to school and show their mother. The stress was for nothing, really, he was just so absorbed in the robot that it was making him freak out. He had every right to be worried about their mother, but it wasn’t like she was going to die. Besides? If she was dying, what would he do? Stick her in the robot like Cave Johnson did to Caroline?

  
  


“C’mon, it’s not like you’re pulling a GLaDOS and Caroline, here.” Gavin chuckled to himself about the name.

“No, wait, Gavin--”

“Mom’s not goin’ in a robot-- Sorry; _android,_ or whatever.”

“Gavin, you have a point!” Gavin could see Elijah’s head, he was hanging from the top bunk slightly. If the guy fell and got a concussion, it would be his own damn fault. “A great point, actually! Chloe is based off of Mom, so I could tweak her specs!”

“Did you not hear a word of what I just said?” Gavin propped himself up on one arm and scowled at his brother in the low light. “I just said you’re _not_ doing that, dipshit.”

“I just need to do some research on the medical technology we have no pertaining to the cerebellum, and various scans-- Oh, I could contact a neuroscientist! That would be such a fascinating experience--”

“Eli! Go the hell to bed!” Gavin pulled off his shirt and threw it up at his brother. “You can rant and rave about all that shit tomorrow. Y’know, like normal people do?”

  
  


Gavin fell onto his back and continued to stare at the underside of the top bunk until the sun had come up. He unintentionally planted an idea into his brother’s head. One that very well could change how society looked at technology, whether it be android related or medical science related. The thought was terrifying and exhilarating. The promising outlook for hospitals was pretty great. But the impact on society and the world as they knew it was part of what kept Gavin awake. What if people decided they liked the robot? What if it ended up changing the world? Gavin closed his eyes as he could overhear his mother closing the front door. What would she say if she knew the reasons for Elijah working harder than before on the robot?

Did she know that it was based off of her?

Gavin thought about it for a little while before deciding that he didn’t even want to know.

  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

_ January 5th 2019 10:38 AM _

  
  


They had barely seen Elijah over the last month. Well, no, Gavin and their mother had  _ seen _ him, but that was the most out of the experience. He toiled away at his workbench in the living room for hours on end. On one hand, Gavin was just glad he had some private time to himself to think. On the other, he was becoming increasingly worried about his brother. Elijah didn’t just spend hours at that table, he would end up falling asleep there. Every waking moment he wasn’t otherwise occupied, Elijah was in that damn chair tinkering with parts for that robot. It was almost admirable to watch how dedicated he was to his work. It was a cause for concern as to the reason why. Though it wasn’t as if Elijah hadn’t done things like that before, considering how late he would stay up reading textbooks and planning the robot out. This was normal. It always had been regardless of how Gavin looked at it at any given point in time. 

That fact didn’t change anything though. The way that Elijah ignored the waking world around him and zeroed in on whatever he was working on. Apparently, according to Elijah’s sleep-deprived rambling one night when Gavin had to carry him to bed, he had almost perfected that Thirium stuff. He was at his three-hundredth trial of the liquid, and it got more and more promising each time he tweaked the formula. The lump of metal and wires and tubes that looked like a blue heart was how he was testing it. Making it run through the piece of machinery at a controlled pace. Gavin would usually just nod along and make sounds to tell his brother that he was listening. He so desperately wanted to be able to have the emotional strength to sit Elijah down and tell him this wasn’t healthy. To obsess over his creation in such a way and for such a reason. But he ignored it every time, chattering away about fantastical ideas and theories as to what else he could do. Allegedly he had scored a meeting with a famous artist to talk about the sculpt of the robot’s face, and they were going to meet very soon. 

Which led to today. Gavin waiting in the car in the new beginnings of spring, though he still had the heat on because his hands and feet were cold. Before long, Elijah came running out of the house with his Android Bag as he called it slung over his shoulder. It was a crossbody bag with all sorts of robotic pins and patches on it. The idea was a bit on the nose, but his brother was a weird person. He practically slid into the passenger’s seat and buckled himself in quickly, telling Siri the address they needed to get to. Gavin knew his city. He knew the nooks and crannies and all of the shortcuts to get away from the cops when they tried to bring him in for loitering again. Which meant he knew Lafayette Avenue, and he knew that it was in a high-end part of town. It was a bit of a drive, but it wasn’t going to be that bad. Hopefully. With a sigh, he turned on the radio. There was almost a companionable silence between the brothers. Almost being the operative word. Elijah had dug one of his many,  _ many _ notebooks out of his bag and started flipping through it, mumbling to himself as he read through whatever it was on the page. 

It continued like that for the rest of the ride up to the artist’s house. Elijah mumbling to himself in the passenger’s seat and Gavin trying his damndest to solely focus on the road. Not only because he needed to know where he was going, but also so he wouldn’t start thinking about the reasons why Elijah was so hellbent on making these connections so early. After a twenty minute drive, they were at the home of one Carl Manfred, and Gavin felt like his stomach was in knots. He wanted to go meet the guy. Call him paranoid, but he wanted to make sure nothing was going to happen to Elijah. So when they walked up to the door and an older man with kind eyes invited them both in without even asking for their names, Gavin tensed a little. If this Manfred guy was supposed to be meeting with Elijah, then why didn’t he question whey there were two teenage boys there instead of one? Or was he expecting someone to be with Elijah because of the fact that he was a teenage boy? Gavin shook his head and followed the artist and his brother into the main room. Well, artists were weird, he supposed. That would absolutely account for the fact that there was a stuffed - or perhaps taxidermied? - giraffe in the corner. 

Manfred offered them water, and Elijah accepted it immediately. Gavin opted to follow the man into the kitchen rather than wait on one of the couches with his brother. It was a nice kitchen, very clean and very modern. Gavin always felt that the state of someone’s kitchen would tell a lot about the person. Not just who they were, but how their life went. Well used pots and pans were hanging on the wall, a silly cup with a face etched into it sat on the counter holding a handful of pipe cleaners, there was an odd slightly darker part of the marble counter that honestly looked like something had burned it. Manfred liked to cook, and he had been doing so for a long time. He knew someone with a kid who gave him that silly cup, maybe they didn’t see each other as much anymore due to the fact that it now held pipe cleaners and wasn’t used for drinks. The darker spot on the counter was the mystery though. It was likely that it was only from a pot or pan being set down on it while still too hot, though there was no way Gavin could be sure. 

  
  


“You don’t need to be so on edge, you know.”

“I don't know, actually.” Gavin crossed his arms and watched Manfred grab two water bottles from the fridge. That made the younger relax considerably. “Hey, can I ask you a weird question?”

“Shoot.”

“Why did you agree to meet my brother?”

“Simply put, I like how dedicated he is to his project.” Carl smiled at Gavin and leaned against the counter. “Long answer; I think that he could do some amazing things for the world if he were to be guided along by the right people. I’m not sure if I’m one of those people, at least in what he wants to do, but I think I can help him get there.”

“Obvious question,” Gavin straightened out his back the way he always saw Hank do it when he had to drag him home. All five feet and nine inches of him trying to make himself look more intimidating. Gavin wasn’t entirely sure it worked, considering the soft huff of a laugh Carl let out. “You’re not gonna, like, be awful to him are you? Because this is his dream.”

“I have no intentions of doing such a thing,” Carl pushed off of the counter and started making his way back to the door leading to the main room. “People who intentionally crush the dreams of children are assholes.”

  
  


Gavin, having decided he liked the man, let himself relax a little bit more. He hung back a bit and watched the two interact. Honestly, he tuned out about halfway through the first conversation. There were a lot of words he had vaguely heard before but had no interest in. That being said, he decided to play  _ Neko Atsume _ while waiting for the meeting to be over. His personal favourite cat was Socks, because of his cute little socks. Gavin would never let Elijah know that. But he had a feeling that he still had the game on his phone, too. There were other games he had on his phone for times such as these.  _ Neko Atsume, Tap Tap Fish, Flow, Heads Off. _ All some of his favourite games to play on mobile. Though Gavin’s favourite to annoy Elijah was  _ Heads Off, _ simply because of the odd noises and the way he could see a vein bulge in his brother’s anger. If he wasn’t in the middle of talking about the future of his passion project, then Gavin absolutely would have started up the game with full volume. 

Instead of ruining the progress Elijah was making on the front of making the robot, Gavin decided to look into robotics. He didn’t understand any of it. Though it was interesting to watch how things were put together and satisfying to see them work smoothly as intended. Eventually, somehow, he ended up watching oddly satisfying videos while somewhat reclined on Carl’s other couch. It was odd to be so comfortable around a stranger. Though, then again, Gavin had never trusted stranger older men. Maybe because he never met his father and his mom was perfectly content being single. He never really had a reason to interact with older men anyway, aside from Chris’ dad who was a really chill guy. The only one he really knew besides Chris’ dad was Hank, and even then he was like a weird uncle. It was odd indeed to be relaxing in a stranger’s home while his brother spoke at length with said stranger about something Gavin couldn’t understand. 

Once the meeting was over, and Carl gave them both his contact information, they hopped in the car and Elijah sighed contentedly. It was odd to see him so at peace. Gavin smiled as he started the car, giving Carl a wave as he backed out of the driveway. He could get used to seeing Elijah like this. Relaxed and not hunched over a textbook for fifteen minutes. Though that wouldn’t be the case for very much longer. Elijah had missed the entry for winter classes at his college he was accepted to. Something that started with a C out on the east coast. Something pretentious with a teacher Elijah just fawned over when explaining the AI program he was going to be taking. Though the thought of him getting all flustered because he was sitting in a classroom in front of his hero was enough to make Gavin snort softly as he drove. Elijah was a bit of an oddball, he absolutely had his quirks, but he also was just like any other dorky kid their age. 

The thought of Elijah being on his own worried Gavin, admittedly. There is more than one occasion where he had to carry his brother to the couch so he could sleep somewhere marginally more comfortable than the workbench table. Not to mention the fact that he sometimes completely ignored things he needed to do in order to take care of his body, like showering. God, Gavin hated it when Elijah spent the weekend at his workbench. Was he going to have a roommate? Or was he going to be on his own? Part of Gavin wanted Elijah to have a roommate just so someone could possibly look out for him, part of Gavin wanted Elijah to be on his own. Frankly, it was because Elijah could be young and dumb. If he trusted the wrong people… The thought was shaken from Gavin’s head in an instant and he focused more on the road ahead of him. Just following the other cars as they meandered to their own destinations. Were they going to drop off loved ones at the airport, or to bring them home so they could spend time together? Shit, he really needed to let things go. Elijah was going to college, and that was that. It was what he wanted to do with his life. 

Apparently Elijah had big plans. He was going to start up a company, he already had a few channels he could go to in order to gain support. How he even got access to those channels, Gavin wasn’t sure he wanted to know. But he had a name and everything. He knew exactly what the company would be, and he was going to be the head of it. Gavin had tuned out after the first few sentences the first time Elijah had explained it to him. But it sounded like he had plans well into the 2020’s, even. It was quite the big aspiration. To become one of the biggest names in technological history. Elijah had grinned and told Gavin he was going to change life as the world knew it. At the time Gavin told him that it was nice, and moved on to his pre-calc homework. Though in the current moment sitting in the car?

The thought shouldn’t have scared Gavin as much as it did. 

  
  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

_ March 20th 2019 11:20 AM _

  
  


Today was the day. Elijah was going to be flying off for a spring semester at Colbridge University. Gavin was pretty convinced he was going to fall apart out there with no one to remind him that he needed to sleep in a bed and not at a table. Gavin had decided to somewhat dress up for the occasion. Not that he needed to, no one else was going to be dressed up for it. But it was important to Elijah. He was going to be shipping himself off to a college a handful of states away and wouldn’t be able to come back home until summer break. Well,  _ if _ he came home for it. He offhandedly mentioned that he might enroll for summer and fall semesters if he could. Their mother told him only to do it if he felt he could handle it. Gavin forced a grin and told him that it sounded great, and he wished his brother the best of luck in his schooling. It still felt like he had to force that grin even now. Standing in front of his dresser, rifling through it and trying to figure out what to wear. He felt like it was the first day of middle school all over again. Kids trying to impress each other and make a name for themselves based on what they wore. Gavin, as much as he internally cringed at it, was one of those kids. So the feeling was unwelcomed and childish. 

Though after what felt like - and actually was once he checked the clock - twenty minutes later, he had an acceptable outfit. His textured black v-neck, blue jeans, and his brown leather jacket with the hood. He’d slip on his boots when they were ready to leave and then that would be that. Elijah was going off to college. At  _ sixteen. _ They always knew he was smart, that he was some sort of genius who had so much potential. But once the reality set in, it was scary. Gavin had known so much of his life with his brother by his side. He was proud of Elijah! He was so incredibly proud of his big brother, but he was also worried about him. He had a tendency to get so caught up in his work that the waking world didn’t matter. Drowning out the rest of the world so he could focus only on his work. If it was the right subject, such as workshop, then Gavin could do the same exact thing. Only he was able to pull himself out of that loop of hyperfocusing. Elijah wasn’t unless someone forced him out of it. That worried Gavin to no end. 

But today wasn’t about being worried. Gavin was reminded of that once he saw their mother fussing over Elijah’s appearance and wiping something nonexistent off his cheek. She smiled at him while speaking of how proud of him she was. That her son was going off to become a roboticist and doing his best to change the world. It was sweet, it should have made Gavin feel better. It worried him further. Sure, their mother had been feeling a lot better in recent months. But who knew if it was going to last? Was it going to get worse with any stress she might have because Elijah was off on his own? Gavin plucked the keys from the tabletop before his thoughts could run further in circles. Today was supposed to be a good day. Carl was even going to see Elijah off to the airport, he had become a family friend in the time the two had worked together. Allegedly, the sculpt of the robot’s face was being mailed to the school. More specifically to Elijah’s dorm. Gavin was thrilled that the housing situation was solved effortlessly. He was skeptical about his brother being so exposed in a new city. 

Instead of dwelling on it, he shoved the thoughts away. Today was supposed to be an exciting day. It was important for Elijah to be doing this, so Gavin was going to keep a level head until he came back home. Maybe go back to his old haunts with Chris and they could hang around the gas station for a while. Maybe run into Hank and chat for a bit. Yeah, that sounded like a solid plan. Gavin opened the front door and, with a grand gesture, announced in a posh voice that Elijah’s chariot awaited him. It took a minute, but their mother had been able to take a picture of the two of them. Grins spread wide on their faces and standing shoulder to shoulder. Sixteen, ready to explore the world. Sixteen, planning on changing the world. The three got in the car with the intentions of only two coming back to the house. It was a bit jarring, very exciting, and just a tad frightening. But Elijah was that much closer to achieving his dream. Creating a functioning robot--  _ Android. _ That was what the three-hundred and ten tests for that Thirium stuff was for. To create a functional android. The details were worked out, and all he needed to do was find the funding to put everything together. Hell, that could be his project for graduation, even. 

Gavin was going to be graduating high school, and Elijah was going to be graduating college. Probably with multiple degrees under his belt. AI development absolutely, robotics, probably something else having to do with tech. A faded memory of Elijah saying something about neuroscientists came to Gavin’s mind, and confused him. He could barely remember that conversation. Though he knew it had to do with all of the worry surrounding their mother. Who was either genuinely getting better, or just getting better at appearing to be. That was the reason why Elijah had pushed himself so hard in the first place. He wanted to do something to help her. Wanted to do something to save her if it came down to it. Gavin glanced at her for a second so see how she looked. A little pale, but she was always a little pale these days. He wasn’t sure if that was something to be worried about or not, seeing as it was a consistent thing. Eventually Gavin forced his thoughts back to the road. It was always so much easier to focus on things that were nowhere near what he was worrying about. 

Eventually he parked the car right next to Carl’s and got out with a wave and a smile to the man. The group chatted for a little while about mindless things. Carl showed the boys some of his newest pieces he had been working on with some grumbling and swearing. Apparently they weren’t up to his standards and he was looking for a new muse. With an elbow to his brother’s side, Gavin snickered and told him he could use Elijah’s robot as his new muse. She was supposed to be “a flower that will never wither” according to the genius. The comment resulted in a small spat between the brothers while going into the terminal. It was almost...comforting. To know that despite his brother was going to be a couple thousand miles away, they would still be like they always were. Discord calls were going to be fun to try and fit in between Elijah’s classes. Oh, maybe they could play  _ Overcooked _ if he had enough time. It was always fun trying to scramble around despite the fact that there were only two of them. And Chris, because it was hilarious to wear him softly screech. He worked in a kitchen, so that was always fun to subject him to. 

Though right now, Elijah was setting down his suitcase and rolling it beside him as he looked for his terminal. Playing games could wait. Gavin put a heavy hand on his brother’s shoulder, and smiled at Carl when he did the same to Elijah’s other shoulder. After a few minutes of the four walking around, and their mother pointing out just how odd airports felt, they decided to sit down and wait for his boarding to be called. What started as simple conversation somehow ended up in a very competitive game of I-Spy. Gavin was currently losing by seven points. Their mother, however, was winning with thirteen points. It was Carl’s turn, and before they knew it, she had the answer. The group erupted in only half annoyed groans while she laughed and claimed to be the master of the game. It wasn’t long after that when a bored sounding voice announced that Elijah’s plane was going to be boarding in ten minutes. Well then. It was time to start the goodbyes. 

Carl went first, saying that he was going out that way in a few weeks to get in contact with an old art friend, so they had to get together and brainstorm the work together. Elijah looked thrilled at the idea and vigorously agreed. They had to get together and started putting the pieces together as soon as humanly possible. The joke made Gavin sigh heavily, and made Carl bark out a laugh while smacking Elijah’s back heartily. They chatted for a bit longer before Carl’s watch beeped and he announced he had to run. But he wished Elijah as much luck as he possibly could before jogging out of the airport. Next was their mother, who hugged Elijah tightly and didn’t let go for a good minute or so. They spoke too quietly to each other for Gavin to hear. But he knew it was a somber topic, considering how Elijah’s eyes fell to the ground and he nodded along to whatever she was saying. After a moment, with Elijah burying his face in her shoulder, they let go of one another. Part of Gavin wanted to know what was said, but he accepted it wasn’t any of his business. With a final grin and point, there was a demand for calls every weekend and regular updates on both school and his hobbies. Elijah laughed and said he’d do his best. 

Gavin stepped forward, his and racing with what to say and how to say it. Realistically he knew this wasn’t going to be the last time he’d ever see his brother. But it felt like he was going to be gone forever. He made the same demands as their mother and told Elijah that he needed proof that he would be taking care of himself. As well as a soft plea not to lose himself in the reason he was pushing himself so hard, everything looked like it was going to be just fine. Elijah’s eyes softened at the request and he made the same one of Gavin. Not to worry himself to death over the very reason they had become so protective of each other to begin with. 

  
  


“God,” Gavin swallowed and forced out a laugh as he patted his brother’s biceps. “Just take care of yourself, okay? If I hear that you’re not at least eating and showering, then I’m gonna fly out there and kick your ass.”

“I will, Gavin, I promise.” Elijah put his left hand up and made a crossing motion over his heart with his right. “Cross my heart, I’ll do my best.” 

  
  


The two paused for a moment before Gavin rolled his eyes and pulled Elijah in for a hug. It was tight, and Gavin felt like he could show Elijah just how proud he was of him if he squeezed him hard enough. After a beat, they let go of each other, and Elijah walked away to go board his plane. It was odd to see him go. Exciting that he was going off to do what he desired to with his life, absolutely, that was wonderful. But it was also worrying because no one would be there to pull him out of whatever hyperfocus he had, therefore he’d get lost in what he was making. But things should end up being okay. Carl said he would be out there in a few weeks, and they could get some sort of progress report through the painter if all else failed. With that in mind, Gavin let his mother take his arm and guide her back to the car. His and Elijah’s car. Though now he supposed it was his. 

The ride home was so much quieter than the ride to the airport. Maybe because of the fact that there was one less person in the car, or that a very loved member of the family would suddenly be gone from the household. That made it a reality. Not having Elijah sitting in the back seat while Gavin was driving made it real. Every time his eyes would flick up to the rear view mirror to try and see if he could see his brother, though he’d be met with an unobscured view behind the car each time. With a heavy sigh, he pulled the car into the driveway and turned it off, trailing behind his mother back into the house. 

  
  


“Gavin, sweetheart, I need you to sit down for me.” The soft tone of his mother’s voice shocked Gavin into complying immediately. 

“What’s wrong? Listen, I made Eli promise to take care of himself, you know he takes those kinds of promises really seriously.”

“No-- I-- Gavin, I know that. And thank you, because I had forgotten about that.” Her laugh wasn’t as upbeat as it usually was. “Honey, Elijah was right from the beginning. About everything; about hiding what was going on and how serious it was.”

“No, no, Mom, c’mon--” Gavin cut himself off with an incredulous laugh. “You can’t jus-just  _ drop _ this on me when Eli leaves!”

“You think I didn’t tell him, too? Gavin,” He flinched away from his mother’s touch when she put a gentle hand on his arm. “Whether you like it or not, this is the reality. People die, that’s what people do.”

  
  


Yeah, they did. He just didn’t want it to be his mom.

Gavin stood up, suddenly glad that he hadn’t taken off his shoes yet. He pulled the keys out of his pocket and left the house. Maybe a drive around the city would help a little bit. He could pick up Chris and they could blast early 2000’s emo music and eat sucky fast food while talking about problems. Gavin shot a quick text to Chris that he was coming over to pick him up. A few minutes later came the reply that he would be waiting outside. Sure enough, when Gavin pulled into the driveway, Chris looked like he had just gotten home from school. He climbed into the passenger’s seat without a word before rifling through the glovebox and selecting Elijah’s  _ The Black Parade _ CD and sticking it into the center console. The rest of today was going to be...quite an adventure.

  
  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

_ March 20th 2019 2:52 PM _

  
  


The fact that Elijah was on his way to the east coast was enough of a mind fuck. The fact that their mother had decided to tell them that apparently she was dying, and that apparently Elijah was right the whole time was a completely different level of a mind fuck. Hence why Gavin and Chris were walking around the still half frozen park with their phones in their hands. Chris was trying to look for Pokémon, meanwhile Gavin was deciding whether or not to text Hank and tell him. In the end he pocketed his phone and looked over Chris’ shoulder as best he could to try and more or less backseat game. Chris was pretty chill about it, probably because it wasn’t just any day that your older half-brother suddenly got shipped off to college at age sixteen. So he understood that Gavin was reeling a little bit because he always considered Elijah his best friend. Chris had no idea that it was so much more than that. 

Though nothing was said. The two walked around until Chris practically forced Gavin to play his own game instead of trying to dictate how Chris played his. He wasn’t annoyed, even if the wording might have suggested that he was. Chris was just concerned for his well being. Gavin inwardly cringed at the idea of someone worrying about him despite not having any idea what was really happening. It wasn't like Chris was an outsider, he had spent nights over at the Reed household and knew just how chaotic it could be. He knew Gavin’s mother and she treated Chris as her own. He was a part of the family, and even called her Aunt Caroline whenever he came over. After a few more minutes of the boys trying, and failing on Gavin’s part, to catch Pokémon, they sat down on one of the benches on the walkway. It was too quiet for Gavin’s liking. It was tense, and he felt like it was suffocating him. Forcing him to speak so he could move the air around just a little bit. Just so he wouldn’t be crushed by it. 

Chris spoke first. Saying something about how his cousin went to college and her brother was a little heartbroken for a little while. But he also thought it was nice to be able to have more guy friends over. They wouldn’t bother her and she wouldn’t bother them. Well that anecdote was all well and good, but there was more than just missing his brother at play here. There was the fact that his mother just admitted to lying to them for years. That his  _ mother _ had admitted to the fact that she was  _ dying. _ Not in those exact words, but it was still said. As explicitly or as vague as words could be. She still meant exactly that, and she somehow expected Gavin to take it well. Just because Elijah had managed to reign in his emotions in public didn’t mean that Gavin was going to just sit there at home and listen to his mother talk about it. They were two very different people with very different ways of going about navigating their emotions. Hence why Gavin was out with Chris while it was just barely forty degrees outside. 

It didn’t take too long for Gavin’s uncharacteristic silence to become a cause for concern for Chris. He didn’t force his friend to speak, which Gavin was grateful for. But he was asking leading questions. Trying to draw a response out of him so they could talk about things. He was angry, he didn’t want to believe what was going on. That she was getting better and this was just a scare. Gavin didn’t want to sit around and talk about his feelings with his friend. That was a waste of time, he should have been telling Hank the news. He didn’t have to because nothing was wrong. His mom was going to get better. She  _ had been _ getting better. With an exaggerated groan, Gavin threw his head back and squinted up at the sky. None of this was fair. It wasn’t fair for his mother to drop that on him the day Elijah left, on either of them actually, and it wasn’t fair for him to be so rude to his friend who was just trying to help him feel better. Gavin sighed and closed his eyes. A hand fell on his shoulder and stayed there for a while, moving every now and again as Chris went to try and catch a new Pokémon. 

  
  


“Mom’s dying.” Gavin kept his eyes closed, he didn’t want to see Chris’ reaction. He could feel the way his friend went still beside him anyway. “Told us today, actually. Eli right before he got on his plane, and me literally as soon as we got inside.”

“I thought you said she was doing better?”

“She’s pale all the time and she’s got the wheeze, but she seemed fine.”

“Y’know how depressed people are, like, really good at pretending to be fine?” Chris shuffled his feet, he was nervous. “Maybe it’s kinda like that. She got so used to pretending to be fine that she started to believe it even though it wasn’t real. Maybe she didn’t realise it, Gavin.”

“Maybe.” Gavin finally opened his eyes and moved so he could look Chris in the eye. He looked crushed. “But she was getting better, Chris. It was like everything was okay again, there was nothing to worry about.” 

  
  


The world started to shatter around him. Sounds didn’t sound right anymore, the bench they were sitting on didn’t feel real anymore, Gavin felt disconnected from his body. It felt like he was floating. Or like his head was stuffed with cotton and he was trying to make sense of a world he couldn’t understand completely. He moved mechanically, it felt like he was being puppeteered. Temperature wasn’t real anymore, either. He knew it was cold out, he could see his breath in front of him, but he couldn’t  _ feel _ it anymore. A tingling sensation started in his hands, making them feel both much too cold and much too hot all at once. Sounds were too far away, and yet it felt like they were so loud they were bouncing around in his head. There was too much. There was too little. He was experiencing everything all at once. He was floating through a void of nothingness surrounding him. The breath in front of his face got thicker and thicker until it looked like it had formed a cloud. Gavin was vaguely aware of Chris going into his pocket to grab his phone, but didn’t try to stop him even though his brain screamed at his arms to move. 

Time wasn’t real. Sounds started to clear up a little bit by the time another voice arrived and started calling out his name. Thankfully it wasn’t his mother’s voice. It was someone else’s. Someone he trusted, but couldn’t immediately identify in his current state. But someone knew his name and was trying to tell him to take deep breaths, to hold on for a little while longer and it would pass. It wasn’t forever. That whatever was going on wasn’t going to be a permanent state of being from now on. But it was a fleeting moment, that everything was going to end up being just fine as long as he took a breath. For fuck’s sake, Gavin, just take a deep breath and hold it for a second or two. Just take a deep breath, hold it, and slowly let it out. Or else someone would have to carry him back home and that would be quite the embarrassing story now wouldn’t it?

Carl. It was Carl speaking to him right now. Gavin wheezed out Carl’s name almost desperately. He didn’t know what was going on and he didn’t like it. Or...Gavin tried to say that to him. All that came out was a ragged cough, which turned into two, which turned into a full blown coughing fit. He gasped for breath, the cold air feeling like it was stabbing at the inside of his body. Like it was going to make his lungs burst. Warm hands went to his shoulders, and Carl’s voice was clearer than before. He was there. He was in the park with Gavin and Chris. Reality slowly started to bleed back into Gavin. He knew that there was a small crowd of people gathering around the three of them, and he absolutely hated it. Though he also was aware enough to know that there ever  _ were _ other people in the park. It was the small victories, as people tended to tell him throughout life. Gavin was honestly exhausted and just wanted to curl up under some blankets and take a goddamn nap. He was freezing, he was embarrassed, he was tired. On top of that, Chris had to call Carl just so Gavin wouldn’t lose his mind apparently. Carl, who had decided to sit on Gavin’s other side on the bench, and pull him flush against his side while rubbing his upper arm.

  
  


“You’re lucky I was nearby, son, otherwise your friend would have had to call your mother.” Carl held a still shaking Gavin against his side and sighed. “Your friend told me a little about what’s going on. How about you grab some of your stuff and spend the night with your friend?”

“Chris told you?” Gavin took notice of how rough his voice sounded, but didn’t actually pay attention to it. “Fuckin’-A. Okay.”

  
  


Gavin relented without much of a fight. It was probably better to spend the night at Chris’ anyway so both he and his mother could get some time away from each other to think about what had happened that afternoon. Carl seemed proud of him for whatever reason, though. The reason wasn’t important. Even if Gavin desperately wanted to know why he had even come in the first place, considering he was working with Elijah. It wasn’t like he never dragged Gavin along to see what was going on and how the sculpt for the robot was going. She didn’t look exactly like their mom because Carl said that it wouldn’t be a good idea. Not because he couldn’t sculpt their mother’s face, but because people might think that something shady was going on with the company Elijah was trying to start up. Gavin could remember bits and pieces of that conversation. How Elijah said he wanted the robot to be as close as possible, then, within reason. Carl said he could try his best but could make no promises. Carl who was sensible and almost treated the brothers like they were his own sons--

That was why he was there. To see Elijah off to the airport, to rush and comfort Gavin in the park. The silly mug with the face etched into it on the counter, that was from that of a child.  _ His _ child. Carl had a kid that he either wasn’t allowed to see, or just chose not to see. He found a way to fill that void by taking in Elijah and being an artistic voice for him, but as well as treating him and his brother like they were his own. It explained why he cared. Why he tried so hard to prove to their mother that he had no ill intentions, he just wanted to see a fresh and artistic young mind flourish and grow. It made sense. An almost uncomfortable amount of sense as Gavin let Carl help him up and into the passenger’s side of the car. He fished around Gavin’s coat pockets until he found the keys, tossed them to Chris, and instructed him to take Gavin home with him. He was kind with Chris. His voice was gentle yet demanding to be listened to. Gavin climbed into the passenger’s seat and mechanically buckled himself in, his hands still weren’t working like he wanted them to. 

Whatever just happened was...unusual and had never happened before. It was uncomfortable to be so...helpless. Completely at other people’s mercy while the waking world around him ebbed away to nothing. It felt like abstract art, there was  _ something _ in it, but he couldn’t ascertain what it was. Gavin liked art and found it fun to have around the house, but hell if he knew what any of it actually was supposed to  _ mean. _ That was what the world felt like. He knew what the pieces were, and how they fit into the collective image of what was presented to him. But none of it made sense, and none of it was something he could understand. Gavin closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest while mumbling his goodbye to Carl. He was tired. Carl said something about resting well, before making sure Chris was alright and then closing the door. Gavin absently wondered how Chris was taking it. How Elijah was taking it. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to find out just yet though, and let himself drift between sleep and awareness as the white noise of the city filled his ears as Chris drove back to his house. 

  
  
  
  



	11. Chapter 11

_ March 20th 2019 3:31 PM _

  
  


At least Chris’ parents didn’t ask any questions when Gavin walked in. With a backpack full of clothes, no less. It wouldn’t have been too much of a surprise if Chris texted them about him staying the night because of the events of the day. They knew just how close Gavin and Elijah were, having had both the brothers over for dinner on many different occasions. Chris’ mom just patted his shoulder and gave him a smile as he passed by her in the hallway. Chris’ dad straight up called Gavin over and gave him a short talk on how people would come and go, but family, ideally, was forever. He said that Gavin had nothing to worry about as long as both he and Elijah made an effort to stay in contact. It actually did put a smile on his face. Sure, yeah, people came and went. There would always be someone who would stay and someone who would leave. He never got to choose. But Elijah never got to choose either, so Gavin was going to make sure his brother was stuck with him for a long as possible. Fate be damned. Even if their mother died, which Gavin reminded himself that she wasn’t necessarily going to, he’d still always have Elijah. Rain or shine, Elijah would be there. 

Wouldn’t he?

  
  


\---

  
  


_ March 23rd 2019 12:26 PM _

  
  


The sound of a discord call interrupted Gavin’s channel surfing. Honestly, he couldn’t mute the television and throw down the controller fast enough. If he was getting a discord call, then that was Elijah calling to check in with him! They had been messaging each other whenever one of them had a free minute, updates on life and school. Apparently Elijah was excelling in getting his dorm set up, and overloading himself with classes. Well, Gavin thought it was too much. Elijah stressed that he needed to keep his mind engaged as much as possible. But he promised he’d leave the weekends for himself. Which meant he was using the weekend to build that robot. But that was beside the point! The point was that Elijah had an hour or so to himself that he was using to call his brother! Gavin grinned and reclined back on the couch while accepting the video call. 

  
  


“Gavin! Good morning!” Elijah looked like he just rolled out of bed. He probably did. “Sorry, I’ve been up since five yesterday, my sense of time is a little screwed up. How have you been?”

“You’re gonna kill yourself with those habits, dude.” Gavin shook his head with a grin and ran a hand through his hair. “Uhh, well, I ended up staying that night at Chris’ because of...stuff.”

“Oh… Right.” Elijah’s eyes were bloodshot. He looked down before tilting his mouth to one side nervously, opening it twice before actually speaking. “Did Mom...tell you?”

“I don’t believe it.”

“Gavin,” The look on Elijah’s face made Gavin feel unreasonably guilty. “You have to, she’s a nurse. She knows what she’s talking about.”

“It-it can’t be real, dude. Mom’s not-- She can’t-- There’s no way, Eli.” 

  
  


The expression on Elijah’s face, the subject matter, the fact that Gavin hadn’t actually spoken a word to his mother since that day. It all built up inside of him, and he could feel it. Every thought he had added to the pile that weighed him down. The way his mother must feel because he wasn’t talking to her. The fact that Elijah was off on the east coast. The scare in her health. The stress from everything lately. Gavin found himself pinching the bridge of his nose and putting his phone down in his lap, he needed a minute. Just a minute. He wasn’t going to spiral like he did at the park with Chris. He just...needed a minute to breathe, to get his mind in order and make sure he didn’t freak out again. Because what do you even do when someone tells you news like that? He still was functional as a human being, he still got up and walked away. He heard her out and then he left. God, that must have made her feel terrible. No wonder she hadn’t spoken to him since. 

After longer than Gavin would care to admit, he picked his phone back up as per his brother's quiet requests. They got to talking about other things, then. How was school back in Detroit? Well, boring as per usual. But the boring of how repetitive things got, not actually boring. A kid got suspended for bringing weed to school and smoking it in the bathroom. In turn, Colbridge was spoken about and how different the east coast was from Detroit. Elijah had never seen the ocean before and was planning on going once he had a few friends and a few free hours of time. Gavin was happy for him, also a little jealous. They spoke about how their lives wouldn’t be any different. They would always be brothers, they would always be best friends and by each other’s sides. Even if they wanted to shove each other off of cliffs at times. But that was how siblings were. At each other’s throats, but would fight for each other at a moment’s notice. It was a nice sentiment despite the fact that they were hundreds of miles away. Elijah made sure to remind Gavin it wasn’t thousands of miles, despite that being exactly how it felt to the both of them. 

Apparently Rhode Island was a pretty state, and the school was in a city. Which was home just enough for Elijah. Gavin snickered when he said something about not being able to handle not being around the doom and gloom that came with a city. Gavin honestly thought he wouldn’t be able to handle it either. The city was their home, where both of them were raised. Cities were what came naturally to them both, which was something Elijah said in a sly manner. As if he were planning on having Gavin come out there some day. While the sentiment was nice, there was no way in hell. Gavin loved his brother. Made a point of shouting that statement down the hallways just to embarrass him. But even with how much he legitimately did love him, there was no way he’d be getting in a damn plane. Sure, most people survived plane crashes and that was a wonderful thing.  _ But it was a giant hunk of metal flinging itself through the air and very, very high speeds. _ Simply put, Gavin didn’t trust like that. Much to his brother’s amusement.

After a good session of the brothers making fun of each other, the conversation came to a comfortable silence. So Gavin suggested they do whatever it was they felt like, and stayed on the call. It would be like they were hanging out. So Elijah connected his phone to the television and went back to rearranging his dorm with some quiet music on. Gavin flipped through the channels for a while before he got bored and hopped on his laptop. They stayed like that for a few more hours, just...existing with one another like they were so used to. Every once in a while, Gavin would hear Elijah’s somewhat scratchy voice try to sing along with whatever song was on. He was sure Elijah could hear him mumbling the lyrics to whatever song he could identify. They had never been so at peace with one another before, never so calm. One; they were brothers, so of course they wouldn’t be peaceful. Peace was never an option. Two; it wasn’t like they were able to do any of the normal shit they did to each other because of the distance. 

Long distance relationships were hard, no matter the nature of the relationship. Gavin missed his brother already. Elijah hadn’t said he missed Gavin, but the way his voice softened when talking about the shit they did to each other told Gavin enough. To be fair, Gavin never actually said he missed Elijah, either. It was something left unspoken, though it was also very clearly heard by the two of them. By the time Gavin looked at the clock, and back to his phone to see just what Elijah was doing, he realised three hours had gone by. Oh the screen on his phone, Gavin could see Elijah curled up with a book on his couch. From the angle Elijah’s phone must have been at, it almost looked like he was asleep. It wasn’t like there was that much of a time difference, it was nearly an hour. Regardless, Gavin smiled and left the call going. Elijah was going to want to see him if he woke up. Gavin sighed gently as he let his eyes scan the screen of his laptop instead. Read through the paranoia-induced research topic he had stumbled upon. The rabbit hole never seemed to end. 

  
  


“Eli?” Gavin half expected nothing in response. He wanted to hear his brother’s voice and be assured that everything was okay. After all, he was the older one. Even if only by four months. “You awake, man?”

“Just reading, Gavin. What’s up?” Elijah set down his book and smiled a little to the right of Gavin’s face. Right, he connected his phone to the television. “Is it about anything in particular?”

“Right, screw you and your leading questions. But yeah, it is.” A pause from both of them. The topic was quite clear, really. “Do you really believe Mom?”

“I do.” Elijah scowled slightly. “You don’t? Gavin, you can’t stay in denial forever.”

“What about your robot?”

“Chloe is going to be an  _ android, _ and she’s going to be done in just a few short months, I’d say.” A manic gleam shined in Elijah's bloodshot eyes and Gavin didn’t approve much of. “Don’t worry, I have a plan, Gavin. I’m going to be meeting with a neuroscientist professor tomorrow afternoon. We’re going to discuss the possibility of uploading a human mind into an android body!”

“Didn’t I tell you not to do that?” Gavin rolled his eyes and scoffed at Elijah’s quite obvious sleep-deprived exclamation. “You’re not pulling a Caroline and GLaDOS, dude! I told you that a while ago!”

“But it might just work! If I can just make it in the specific ways needed--”

“Go to bed, Elijah. You’re not making any sense.”

“Wouldn’t you do anything to make sure Mom’s okay?” Elijah stared at Gavin. Practically into his soul. Weighed his worth as her son, as his brother, as a human being. “Gavin. I can’t… I can’t do that again. I can’t be abandoned again.”

“Well you’re not gonna be! Mom’s not dying!”

“I’m scared of the possibility, then!” Elijah’s voice cracked and he looked so desperate. Like a little kid who wanted to go home after a long day. “I don’t want to be abandoned by my mother again! I can’t do that! She jus-just fucking  _ left  _ me! She never even got-got out of the damn car to say goodbye!”

  
  


Saying that his chest hurt would be an understatement. Gavin’s whole being hurt watching his brother break down right in front of him on a screen. It would be one thing if they were actually within the same space, the same physical proximity. But it was entirely different to be left speechless. To be reduced to nothing but a bystander in his brother’s tragedy. Elijah was a rational guy, always had been since they were kids. It was no secret that he grew up way too quickly because of some adult’s expectations of him. It was no secret that Gavin almost envied him in how he was able to be respected so easily because of that fact. There was no envy now. There was no respect from random adults they didn’t know. There was raw emotion that Gavin hadn’t seen on Elijah’s face in such a long time; and because of that he didn’t know how to respond. Gavin was left unable to do anything but watch as his brother curled in on himself and cried, probably only allowing himself to do so because of how sleep deprived he was and how little of a filter he had. For a moment, he wondered if this would break them apart. Elijah’s fantasies and Gavin’s realities. 

Gavin accepted his mother was dying. As much as he didn’t want to, he did. Though he supposed it was nice to have some sort of a warning. To know that the inevitable was coming, instead of just being informed by some random adult. When had Elijah turned into the one turning to games and stories to try and calm himself down? When had Gavin turned into the one to look at the cold, hard facts instead? When had they swapped roles, and when were they going to go back? Gavin was always the one who physically stood up for his brother when people would pick on him. Regardless of how old they actually were and if Elijah wanted it or not. Elijah was always the one who helped Gavin understand something when he was getting frustrated with it. Going so far as to help him with it even when he was getting a bit testy himself. 

At this rate, their family would fall apart in a few months. Gavin didn’t want that. He doubted Elijah did, either. So Gavin did what he did best, he avoided the problem by getting angry. Turning the discomfort into something that he could actually use as power behind some of his daily life. Gavin got angry with Elijah for being in such a state, for not taking care of himself and leading to this...this meltdown. His voice softened when he begged his brother to get some sleep, and then Gavin hung up the call. He put his phone down on the coffee table, closed the tabs of medical research he was doing on his laptop, and got up to go for a walk to his favourite spot. After a beat of thought, he grabbed his phone and put his shoes on. Alrighty then. Time to go to his usual loitering spot, and try to be as normal as his life would allow him to be. If it would let him be normal at all. 

  
  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

_ March 23rd 2019 4:02 PM _

  
  


Okay, so maybe walking wasn’t the greatest idea in the world. It was still a little chilly outside, and he was a paranoid bastard. He swore up and down that some guy was following him down the sidewalk since he had gotten closer to his destination. It was probably just a couple different guys who owned black hoodies and blue jeans. But shit, he was all on edge because of the end of the call and just wanted some semblance of normal in his stupid life. Everything was falling apart around him. Gavin rounded another corner and found the one thing that would stay normal for him, the gas station that he frequented and would continue to frequent for as long as he could. Maybe not as a loitering teenager, but he always got gas for his car here, even. As soon as he stepped inside of the store, whoever was following him disappeared. Must have been his brain being an asshole then. 

A familiar blue uniform stood out in the corner of the store over by the milk, and Gavin smiled to himself at the normalcy of it all. Despite his life being turned on it’s head and seemingly out of control, there was still the gas station. There was still Hank. There was still his city. For once he kept his mouth shut and perused the aisles himself for some sort of snack. He planned on sitting on the concrete bench to eat it, but it still would have been nice to have something to occupy his mind while he sat there. Gavin selected a bag of Goldfish crackers and a  _ Pipeline Punch _ Monster energy drink. It wasn’t much, but it was going to occupy himself. The cashier gave him the usual look of someone bored by their job. As well as the skeptical glance that was reserved for Gavin when he came inside right before loitering. Oh how he loved that look. Thanking the cashier, he stepped out of the store and sat on the bench. His spot. That was his spot and he loved it to bits. 

“Gavin,” Hank’s voice didn’t have the usual annoyed tone it took with him, abnormal. Gavin wanted normal. “Heard your brother went to school on the east coast. How’s he doin’ out there so far?”

“Eli’s sleep deprived, but he’s doing okay I guess.” He stood up when Hank motioned for him to, and they walked over to a picnic table. Hank pulled a boxed sandwich from a bag and put his coffee down on the table. Gavin set down his crackers and Monster. “I think he’s gonna crash really hard by next month. He’s got day  _ and _ night classes every day.”

“Jesus, kid, you’re just gonna have crackers and an energy drink?” Hank shook his head and tried to hand half of his sandwich to Gavin. Who pulled away with his nose scrunched up. “Okay, fine. Back to your brother, then.” He set it down so he could take a sip of his coffee instead. “What’s he even going for?”

“Uhh, robots. I think he said AI development or some shit like that.” Gavin, true to the absolute monster he could be, shovelled a handful of the crackers into his mouth. Though he wasn’t a complete monster, he chewed and swallowed most of it before speaking again. “It’s been a rough couple days, honestly. He’s running himself ragged in his first few days.”

“You’re both sixteen, right?” Hank paused and watched Gavin nod through shoveling more crackers into his mouth. “Then you’re young and stupid. He’ll learn eventually. You will, too. I just wish you’d learn quicker. Stop loitering.”

“Ah, but then we wouldn’t be such amazing friends, old man!”

“I’m not old! I’m thirty-four!”

“Which is still a lot older than sixteen!” 

  
  


Gavin practically cackled as he leaned over the table for support. This was normal. This was better. For another twenty minutes, life was normal. Gavin was a normal kid, with a normal family, and a normal life. At least until Hank said he had to go back on the clock, and that he’d probably see Gavin again soon. Yeah, he probably would. With how things were going it was likely Gavin would end back up at the gas station fairly soon. Collecting his trash, Gavin stood up with Hank and they parted ways. The slight argument with his brother was still rather fresh in his mind, but that was alright. He was going to go back home and talk to his mother. Actually sit down and legitimately speak with her this time. She deserved that much in the very least, he hadn’t exactly given the best reaction to being told the news. As much as it plagued his mind. But with a sigh and a jerky movement to put his hands in his pockets, Gavin made his way back home. 

The cottage was just on the outskirts of the suburbs. Not exactly out in the middle of nowhere, but certainly not in the middle of the city. It was in that awkward middle ground where urban met the country. His ride to school was pretty long, but it wasn’t like it was an hour or something. Comfortably inside the city and comfortably inside the country. It was the perfect place for trick or treating when they were kids, actually. The neighbours were close enough to know the last names of nearly everyone on the street. Kind of like how small towns were pretty close knit, but on a stretch of road. It was home. A little two bedroom cottage that felt much bigger than it actually was without the third person living in it. It felt more empty, Elijah had taken every book he owned with him. It was understandable, considering the fact that he was going to be using them for his studies and his robot. 

Elijah was stubborn and hard-headed, but he also was incredibly smart. If he thought it would take months to make the robot, then it probably would. If he thought that he was going to be able to handle the day and night classes on top of using all his free time working on the robot, then despite it being a bad idea, it was likely accurate. He knew his own limitations. He ignored them half of the time, but he still knew them. He was sixteen, had people willing to invest in his crazy company idea, and creating a robot that very well could change the world. The idea both thrilled Gavin and terrified him. Once the robots starting getting more popular, then what would happen to the humans? Eventually human society would crumble and the robots would end up taking over. Whether it was in a violent revolution or in the slow phasing out of any remaining human workers. Eventually, even the world’s leaders may be replaced. Global unification sounded interesting, but in more of a science-fiction novel kind of way. 

All of that could be made possible by the fact that his brother was getting lost in denial. That despite the fact that their mother was dying, he thought he could save her. In a literal sense. Like saving a word document or a stupid picture. Being uploaded into a robot body was a part of sci-fi for a reason. It was never going to happen within their lifetimes, maybe even ever. Sure it was just electrical impulses in the brain and memories, but they still didn’t entirely and intimately understand it. The only way to be able to recreate it would be to know it inside and out in such a way. Elijah was chasing a pipe dream. Gavin was unwillingly being dragged along for the ride. One of them was rational and understanding of the world around them, the other liked to loiter around gas stations and make friends with a cop. That was who they were. Who they should always be at the base of their beings. The rational scientist and the wildcard punk. Would it really be so much to ask for them to stay that way? Maybe not forever, Gavin wanted to do things for society, too. But for now. Just until everything was over. 

He didn’t want anything to end. He didn’t want anything to be over. Whether it was permanent or it was only for a little while. The threat of permanence loomed over Gavin’s head as he walked. As he heard the overwhelming sounds of the city; sirens, horns, people talking and yelling, music from stores and bars. If he tried hard enough, Gavin liked to think that maybe he’d get lost for a little bit. Not physically, but emotionally. Maybe he could let himself accept what was going on and lose himself in what was going on at any given second. Live his life, as much as he could with the reminder that death could always be around the corner. Watching, waiting, always trying to find an opening. Gavin never really thought about death, not past what was brought up by other people. Which was somewhat often in the city. There was always some death, some accident, some reason or method someone had died. Always on the news, or his mother’s hushed voice at the table, or Hank shaking his head with a frown, or Carl’s smile and assurance that they’d get a lot more rest now. Not to mention his friends and how they always had some gossip from the internet. 

It wasn’t fair to the people who had died, Gavin felt. They were dead, so what was the point of talking if they couldn’t hear it? But then again, what was the point in talking about death at all? Everyone knew what it was and more or less how it worked. Not the whole science thing. But there was a good amount of people in the world who understood that specifically. No, most everyone knew that once someone died, that was it. No more person. No more sentience. No more laughter, or smiles, or tears, or yelling, or anything. It was just...nothing. It was a very one-sided relationship, really. The living and the dead. Gavin supposed the living could talk to the dead, but it wasn’t like they would ever get and answer. Or maybe the ones who got an answer weren’t always wrong. Who knew if there was an afterlife, it sure as hell wasn’t Gavin. He liked to think that maybe there was  _ something. _ But that was probably just a hope. Just a story to help people feel better about the fact that they were about to cease to be. 

Gavin had never gone to church, actually. His mother was never religious. She never specified if she believed in an afterlife or not. For a morbid second, Gavin wondered if she ever thought about where she might go after. After the whole thing with dying and her brain activity stopping. Her heart, her lungs, her brain. The vital organs shutting down and leaving behind a mass of muscle and bone. Because that was all the body was. A mass of muscles and bones. There was some other stuff thrown in there, like cartilage and the organs and such. But for the sake of the analogy, the human body was made of flesh and bone. His mother was a nurse, she knew that all too well. His mother was a nurse who knew what happened to bodies after the former sentience housed in it ceased functioning. What happened to a person in the land of the living after they died. He wondered if because of that, she stopped believing. He wondered if she ever believed in the first place. Well. He could just go inside the house and ask her. Gavin walked through the front door, took his shoes off, and found his mother watching some random episode of  _ Legends of Tomorrow. _ He sat beside her. 

  
  


“I owe you an apology, Ma.” He took his phone out of his pocket to avoid looking her in the eye. “I didn’t react great, and it must have devastated you. I’m sorry I was a shit.”

“I’m not entirely free of blame, either.” Her voice was soft beside him. “I probably should have told you later. Or earlier. Just not the day your brother left for school, you two have always supported each other, and I knew that. I’m sorry for telling you such big news at a time you felt so small.”

“Wanna re-watch Legends together and order a pizza to make it up to me?” 

  
  


Gavin looked at his mother with a grin and went to grab his phone. At her laugh and nod, he picked it up to call the closest delivering pizza place. Thank fuck for  _ Dominos, _ honestly. He was more of a cold pizza kinda guy, but he would gladly eat  _ Dominos _ while the pizza was still hot. He wasn’t going to ask her if she believed in an afterlife. Not yet at least. But he knew that the topic was going to come up eventually, no matter how much he wanted to push it away. Gavin couldn’t do that to her. He was going to stick by her side and help her through it. He wanted to. 

  
  
  
  



	13. Chapter 13

_April 13th 2019 6:36 PM_

  
  


Being bored at work was tough. It was a good thing that Gavin was who he was, otherwise he didn’t think any of it would work out. He was a stubborn bastard. He wanted a job at this mechanic’s shop, and he just so happened to get it. Besides, it was one of the more reliable ones in the city. Which meant that there had to be steady business coming in. That was true at first, Gavin had come onto the team with very little formal training, but was able to help people out considerably well. The owner respected him as a person and told him he was using his talents for good. Bettering the city or some crap. Gavin didn’t know how he was helping the city by being a mechanic, but he would take it. Even if he kinda cheated and asked Hank for help with cars just to touch up on some stuff and make sure he knew what he was doing. That was a good day. Today, however, was also good. It was also terrible. 

It was a slow day, and that was pretty good. That meant people’s cars were reliably getting them from point A to point B. That meant Gavin didn’t have to do anything he wasn’t ready to do on a car. However, it also meant that he was so terribly bored. There was only so much cleaning he could do. But there was also so much cleaning to be done. His boss, who was also the owner, told him he could do virtually whatever he wanted as long as he didn’t trash anything. He was going to be in the office if Gavin needed anything. Which meant that Gavin was so bored he was voluntarily cleaning his disgusting workplace. Okay, it wasn’t disgusting. It was cleaned pretty regularly, and kept rather organised. But there were, of course, better ways to clean and to keep the space clean. He organised the tools first, then got to labeling them, then to making sure the box was in the right place. He repeated the process for every toolbox in the garage. He thought the task would have taken up at least an hour and a half, he spent so much time just labeling everything. But no, work time was so much longer than real time. A half hour had passed. With a groan and a roll of his eyes, he got to legitimately cleaning. 

Wiping down equipment, googling stuff to make sure he was cleaning said equipment correctly, making sure everything was up to date. That took an hour, though. That was nice. Too bad Gavin was stuck at the garage for another two hours or so. He got there at four, got ready for his shift, and was left with absolutely nothing to do. But in a half hour Elijah was supposed to call him with life updates. That was something that made Gavin work twice as hard. If he got things done quicker, then that meant he would have more time to just goof off and exist as he was. He’d have absolutely nothing to do, and that meant he could do whatever he wanted. Besides, he wanted to save his phone battery for the call. They always lasted a few hours. Gavin had an opportunity to tote Elijah around in his shirt pocket while at work, that was going to be great. He could point the front camera out and Elijah could watch him do shit. Elijah wasn’t the only one in the family who was good with machines! Gavin knew how to treat a car just right so she would purr. When he got it right. But that was beside the point! 

Eventually his boss left the office with a smirk on his face, which wasn’t entirely unusual. But it usually came after a phone call with someone. Maybe he was on the phone but Gavin was too far into his own head to hear it. Hopefully that meant someone was coming in, so he could actually do something work related. Sure enough, his boss informed him of someone coming in. It must have been someone good in terms of gossip if the guy had that face. Gavin wondered if it was a political figure or something, because his boss had the look he got when someone wealthy had their car break down nearby. Which was apparently what happened. Not the wealthy part, Gavin didn’t happen to get that particular detail. But someone’s car broke down near the garage. Which meant that Gavin didn’t have to keep mindlessly cleaning, and he could just relax and lose himself in grease and car parts. The boss had to go get the guy and his car though, so Gavin was left to hold down the fort. Soon enough he was left alone in the building.

Honestly, he had half a mind to just...blast music. His phone could connect to the bluetooth easily enough. The speakers were left alone just in case though. Because what would it say about the business and it’s employees if someone came in and saw a sixteen year old boy dancing and singing along to whatever he put on? It didn’t say anything good, that’s what. So Gavin sat on the one stool that had a cushion on it still, and opened a magazine. A customer had left it one day and no one threw it away. Someone from the morning shift stuck a note on it and said the new kid could do with some reading material to try and understand the opposite sex. Joke’s on them, Gavin had no interest in women. But he did like to read the magazines because they were so dramatic and obviously embellished so they would sell. It was comical to him, so he never even blinked when someone would catch him reading it. It didn’t matter to him. 

Well, ordinarily it wouldn’t matter to him. Gavin watched his boss tow in a familiar orange car, with a familiar owner of said car in the passenger’s seat of the truck’s cabin. Gavin slapped down the magazine and snapped to attention. Carl got out of the cab and thanked him for the ride to the garage. He hadn’t seen Gavin yet. Honestly, he hadn’t seen Carl in person since he had to teach him how to use discord to be added to the calls he and Elijah had every weekend. Which was after he had been at school for two weeks already. In a hasty motion, Gavin wiped his hands off on his shirt and came forward in case his boss needed a hand with anything. Because use the teenager for manual labour. Not that Gavin was entirely complaining, it was an easy way to keep in shape. Go to work, do stuff and keep moving around. It was rather simple but it worked. He wondered if he looked any different to Carl. Maybe he was visibly stronger, maybe he had more muscle on him. Gavin smiled to himself at the possibility and slightly bounced on his heels waiting for Carl to see him. 

  
  


“Alright, Mister Manfred, gotta ask.” Gavin’s boss sounded annoyed. It must have been something easy to fix, but Carl hadn’t noticed. “Have you ever been under the hood of this car?”

“Not completely! My friend’s brother is good with cars, so he showed me some things, but none of it really stuck. I’m more of an art person.” Carl laughed heartily and patted the roof of his car. “But I’m sure you and your employees can do her some good. I trust her with you.”

“Alright, we’ll do our best to fix her up real good. Gavin!” His boss shouted for him, completely unaware that he was around six feet away to begin with. “Oh shit, okay kid. Pop the hood of this car, tell me what you find.”

Gavin grinned and greeted Carl warmly before moving over to the car. He was the brother of the friend Carl had mentioned! He knew Carl’s car pretty well, actually. He helped fix up the belt one day when Elijah was supposed to be talking with him about the sculpt of the robot. The three of them ended up doing life lesson stuff, Carl taught them both how to change a tire. So Gavin knew Carl’s car, and he knew that whatever happened had to be Carl’s fault. No one else drove the car. It also didn’t get any tlc from anyone other than Gavin. Which meant that he would be able to fix up the car real good and send Carl right on his way wherever he was going. It didn’t take much of a look to really find what was going on, the belt needed to be replaced. After a few questions answered by Carl, Gavin just sort of sighed and asked his boss to get the equipment needed to lift the engine out of the car. 

A brief examination later, it wasn’t all that hard to be able to tell that the cylinders likely needed to be cleaned. Really bad. So they got to work. Gavin and his boss started working on taking out all of the valves as well as their caps alongside the springs. Gavin, ever the perfectionist with car maintenance, placed the parts down on the organizer tray. There was carbon build-up that made Gavin sigh in exasperation more than once. By the time they had removed all of the pieces necessary, his phone chimed delightfully in his pocket. He handed it to Carl without thinking and asked him to pick up the call. A small tone played, and then Elijah’s voice was on the other end of the call. Gavin so desperately wanted to actually speak with his brother. To tell him that he wasn’t the only one in the family good with machines. To tease him just as they always had done since they were kids. Though the fact that he was holding a tool sideways in his teeth made it so he couldn’t actually say anything. But Carl said it for him, he was always good with that sort of thing. For another half hour, it was like they were all together again. 

For a half hour, Gavin was in the middle of something and talking to his brother. Explaining to him how it worked as he was doing it. Every once in a while, Gavin would catch his boss watching him with something akin to fondness in his eyes. He would pipe up every now and again to gently correct whatever Gavin had said or done wrong. It was like Elijah was there with him, like the two of them were hanging out. Or maybe Carl and Elijah popped in to bother Gavin at work. The thought was enticing. He wanted his brother back home, especially so they could celebrate his birthday together. Sure it was three months away. But Gavin still had plans and he was hellbent on executing them, all according to plan. He briefly explained it to Elijah and cackled as his brother groaned on the other end of the call. Promptly after, he decided to talk to Carl instead about the robot and how it was coming along. 

That was how the rest of the cleaning went. Gavin and his boss cleaning the cylinders, Carl speaking with Elijah. Though Gavin did introduce Elijah to his boss briefly before going back to cleaning and talking. After another hour, the engine was fully assembled and put back into place. Carl got in the car to start it up and see how it would run. The orange atrocity sounded like music to Gavin’s ears, and Carl happily hugged him in thanks. Despite being covered in sweat and oil. Gavin’s boss even gave him a “you’re friends with one of my employees” discount. It wasn’t much, only about ten percent, but that went a long way when it came to the kind of price with that kind of work. Carl paid them, gave Gavin a generous tip, and handed him his phone. Well. It was more of Carl awkwardly setting the phone down in his shirt pocket and then bidding the three of them goodnight before driving back to his house. Gavin wiped off his hands and grabbed his phone so he could chat with Elijah for another ten minutes before they had to start closing up shop. With a mutual quick jab at how they needed to take breaks to actually be functional human beings, Gavin and Elijah hung up. 

  
  


“Sorry, Ross, Eli calls me every weekend. He’s goin’ to school out at Colbridge.” Gavin sheepishly wiped his hands off on the rag on the bench and then set it back down. “He’s my older half-brother, but I’ve known ‘im since I was seven. It’s kinda tough being apart for so long.”

“Huh, so he’s the older one?” Ross pulled down the garage door and locked it before addressing Gavin again. “You two actually get along? What about the half-brother thing?”

“Made us closer, I think. We always said we were best friends,” Gavin smiled bitterly and grabbed his work bag from the floor. “Least before he got to school. Lately it feels like he’s pushing everyone away so he can work on that stupid robot.”

“He said something about showing your mom, though, so it’s probably just because of that.” Ross clapped Gavin on the back and pointed to the car. “You go on home, I’ll lock up tonight. But hey, if this doesn't work out, maybe you can work for your brother! You know your way around a machine!”

“Thanks Ross!” Gavin’s tone dripped with sarcasm as he genuinely smiled at his boss. “I’ll keep you in mind, see if Eli can get you a job when you’re too old to be doin’ this shit by yourself!”

  
  


They exchanged laughter before Gavin left to go get in his car. It was...nice. To see Carl again after some time and to show Elijah just what he was doing with his free time. It wasn’t like he did sports, so he had quite a bit of it to himself. Time that was spent, usually, helping his mother out around the house or just doing things to help ease the load of things she was doing. Like going grocery shopping, or to go get the mail from the post office. His least favourite was the pharmacy. For obvious reasons. But he stuck it out and he helped his mom. He wondered if he should have told Elijah how she was doing, or if that could be saved for the call he was expecting next weekend from his brother. Or maybe they would have to change the time they had their calls, considering Gavin worked weekends. It was quickly snowballing out of control. He had to pick and choose what he wanted to keep in his life. It was overwhelming. 

  
  
  
  



	14. Chapter 14

_ June 5th 2019 3:11 PM _

  
  


Gavin had just gotten out of school when he got the call. It wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be when he inevitably got it. Just that his mother was in the hospital, and he was one of her contacts. Gavin popped in a CD to his center console, probably way too calm for what he had been called about. But then again, they were expecting this. They knew it was going to happen, and sure he was angry about it. There was nothing that could be done about it so he tried his best to let go of said anger. Despite how calm he felt and appeared to be, he could feel it bubbling up just below the surface. It felt like a weight on his chest and he wanted it gone. He clenched the steering wheel, before having to pull over to the side of the road. It would be better than driving and crying uncontrollably. Gavin gripped the wheel as tightly as he could, hearing the sound of his skin against the leather. He just needed to take a few deep breaths. Then it would be okay. Everything was going to be okay, they knew this was coming. This wasn’t some sort of surprise. But even the rational and logical part of his mind couldn’t win this. Gavin let go of the wheel and punched at it. 

Just because it was expected, didn’t mean it was any more fair. The fact that he knew his mother was being ripped away from him and Elijah. Not only did he feel that way, but it was obvious Elijah had his own abandonment issues, and there was no way their mother actually wanted to miss out on watching them grow into their own people. It wasn’t fair. Gavin screamed and punched at his steering wheel as it all started to actually sink in. As it started to actually become the reality of the situation. He stopped moving. Stopped screaming. He started crying, wishing that he could stop. He was so angry, and he was sitting on the side of the road when he needed to be by his mother’s side to make her feel better. Gavin loudly cursed at himself through his tears and spent another five minutes gathering himself before wiping his face and going back on the road. That wasn’t what he needed to do right now. Well, it was, obviously, but he didn’t have the time for it. Gavin got on the highway and made his way to the hospital, trying not to let his mind wander too far. 

  
  


\---

  
  


_ June 8th 2019 9:35 AM _

  
  


“Hey Ma,” Gavin smiled when he saw that his mother was actually awake. “I brought you a few of your trashy romance novels. This way you’re not so bored when you’re up.”

“Thank you sweetheart, I appreciate it.” 

  
  


For a little while, they just sat together. Gavin went on tumblr on his phone, and his mother read her trashy romance novels. Every few minutes he would hear her cough, and then wouldn’t hear anything for another hour. Then she’d have a coughing fit, and Gavin would have to press a button to call the nurses in. The nurses who all knew her because they worked together. It was tough to watch them work. After a few hours of sitting together, talking, and Gavin calling the nurses every now and again, he finally took some time to himself. He went out to the hallway to find a vending machine. He could seriously use the sugar. Maybe some coffee because he hadn’t properly slept since he got the call. He also hadn’t been at school, and was expecting a call from the principal or some shit. He had his mother’s phone on him just in case someone called. But it was probably just going to be the school. 

A call did come in from the school, and Gavin ignored it in favour of getting some skittles and a coffee. He sat in one of the uncomfortable chairs and continued scrolling through social media until he had drunk all of his coffee and ate the candy. Even then he stayed in the chair. He didn’t want to be anywhere near his mother’s room. As selfish and as mean as it was. Gavin wanted to be as far away as possible from the situation. He wanted to be at school, wanted to be talking about memes with Chris, wanted to be accidentally flirting with the wrong people. He wanted to be sixteen. With a job and a family that was normal. Or his normal in the very least. Elijah was in Rhode Island, his mother was in the hospital, Carl was out of the city doing some small underground art show. Gavin just wanted to be able to talk to someone who wouldn’t try and tailor how they were speaking because of what was going on.

Elijah actively tried not to talk about what was going on. He started to go into denial of everything. Saying that the robot was a backup plan. That if anything were to go wrong, their mother could have her cerebellum scanned and her memories and emotions and experiences could be uploaded into the robot. Gavin usually just told him what the situation was and left it at that. If Elijah wanted to try and forget about it, then he was free to do so. But once things finally started happening, once things got to the end, then he was going to have to face it. He couldn’t live in denial forever. He couldn’t just pretend that everything was okay. That their mother was still around. Because it wasn’t going to be like this forever, they were only human. Humans died. That was what they did. Unfortunately, Gavin had to experience it in an entirely different way from his brother. Because he was the rational one in this situation, and he understood that she was going to die regardless of what happened. He overheard the nurses. He asked them questions and watched their body language. He knew that it wasn’t good and that she was going to die. Maybe not right that second, maybe not in the next six months. But she was going to, and it wouldn’t be when any of them were somewhat comfortable with the concept. 

Honestly speaking, Gavin was worried about Elijah and how much he seemed to throw himself into his work. He would take pictures and show Gavin how the robot was coming along. Apparently it could run pretty well for a while, but then it would overheat and shut down completely. He’d have to open it up, clean it out, and then restart it. Run another test and try to get it to be functional. Gavin hated seeing the damn thing because of how it looked. Elijah said something about nanotech he managed to create and how it would help with the whole uncanny valley thing. He detailed how it would give the thing skin and hair, even eyelashes and pores. Gavin hated the thing more and more every item Elijah sent him an update picture or video. Though the time Elijah sent him a video of the robot just blinking instead of answering any of his questions was pretty funny. It wasn’t even morse code, Gavin looked it up, and it meant nothing. It only came up with one and zero, and that was--  _ That was binary code. _ Gavin physically put his face in his hands and groaned in the chair. Of course the robot was using binary code, that was the only language it knew! 

Instead of getting up and going back into the room, Gavin decided to take a walk around the hospital. He knew his mother’s room number and what wing she was in. With a quick kiss on the side of her head, Gavin gave the phone back to her and said if she needed anything to text him. He wasn’t going far, and would be back within the hour. He left the room and softly shut the door. She was probably going to end up reading while he was gone. Something Gavin had picked up from her was the fact that he needed quiet in order to read anything and take in the information at all. Despite himself, Gavin ended up toward the ER, and was watching as someone rushed in carrying another person who was bleeding profusely. Doctors and nurses rushed in and took them through some doors labelled OR. He wondered if the robot would be able to do everything his mom could. If it would be able to perform surgery, or if it could barely understand how to do stitches. Even Gavin knew how to do stitches. Would the robot know? Would it start a chain reaction? 

He walked back to the wing his mother was in and greeted the nurse at the reception desk as he went by. The guy looked bored as hell and slightly annoyed that someone was talking to him, but greeted Gavin back anyway. It was the small victories, he supposed. Those would really start to count now. With an indeterminate amount of time left. There was nothing either of them could do if something happened, and they both knew something was going to happen. Though instead of actually going into the room, yet again avoiding his responsibilities, Gavin left the hospital. He didn’t go far, just to sit in his car in the main parking lot. He had to do it. He had to call Elijah and tell him what was going on. Tell him that their mother was in the hospital, she was stable as of the moment, but it was going to change. It was only a matter of time before something happened. The car was almost suffocatingly hot in the summer heat, but the discomfort made Gavin want to do it more. Get it over with. He stared at his phone for a few minutes before he actually went into his contacts and selected one to call. The phone rang three times before Gavin got an answer. 

  
  


“Gavin? What’s going on?”

“I was wondering if I could talk to you about something. If you’re too busy, I get it.”

“No, no, son, I’ve got time.” It sounded like Hank closed a car door before he continued. “You’ve never actually called me before, is everything okay?”

“Remember how I mentioned my mom might be dying?” Gavin forced himself to breathe. He needed to take even breaths, that was what Carl told him. “Turns out she, uhh, she is. I need something normal. Something that just...won’t change.”

“That was always me, wasn’t it?” Hank’s voice softened and Gavin could hear him open a car door before it closed again. “Where are you? I want to talk to your mother.”

“The hospital. We’ve been here a few days.”

“Excuse me, what’s this ‘we’ business? Are you skipping school?”

  
  


Despite himself, Gavin laughed at the question. That was normal. Getting busted for skipping without giving a reason to the school. Gavin answered every one of Hank’s questions. How long he had been at the hospital, when he had gotten there, what he had been doing, who he initially meant to call. Twenty minutes later, Gavin was standing in front of the main entrance to flag down Hank and take him inside. The walk was quiet, save for Hank asking if Gavin had any of the coffee yet. To which he admitted that he did. Also that it was the foulest tasting thing he had ever had the misfortune of drinking. But oh did he drink it anyway, he had been sleeping on the shitty chair in the corner of the room for a few days. There was only so much sleeping halfway on a bed that already had a person in it could do for his energy levels. 

Once they got to his mother’s room, she broke out into a strained smile. Gavin was quick to explain that he called Hank and let him know what was going on. They were pretty close now that the two of them had gotten to know each other over the last couple months. Gavin knew that his mother knew he told Hank a shortened version of what was going on. He also knew that Hank knew that fact. So sitting in the room while watching Hank get emotional over his mom was so overwhelming that he actually left the room again. He went to the end of the hallway with the vending machine and stuck in four quarters, he noticed one of them was 2002 and he smiled to himself, that quarter had been around the sun just as many times as he had. He got apple juice and then got his phone from his pocket. It took a second of his brain screaming at his hand to move, but Gavin managed to type in a number and call it. There was no ringing. The call went directly to voicemail just like any other time Gavin called sometime before noon. 

  
  


“Hey Eli, it’s me. I know you’re not gonna listen to this until probably three in the morning, but I’ve got something you need to know. Mom is-- Mom--” Gavin inhaled sharply and closed his eyes. “She’s in the hospital. Everything is okay as of right now, we haven’t heard anything too bad. But Eli… She’s not doing great to begin with. Constant pain and constant pain killers. The, uhh, the nurses say everything is fine and while she is, y’know, dying, she’s still got at least two years left. I don’t know how much I believe them. But I guess we-we gotta right now, huh?” Gavin laughed gently as he looked back toward the hallway, and saw Hank exiting his mother’s room seemingly looking for him. “An-anyway, I love you and I hope you’re kickin’ ass out there.. I’ll call you if anything else happens. Love you, bye”

  
  
  
  



	15. Chapter 15

_ June 22nd 2019 9:25 PM _

  
  


It had been three weeks now, since Gavin got any word from Elijah. Not even Carl could get in contact with him. For more than just a quick explanation that he had been up to his eyeballs in homework and preparation for the robot. Apparently he had taken on three quarter’s worth of classes and was starting to pay the price for it. Before Gavin could have Carl ask him why he would do that, he hung up. Though right before the line went dead, there was a voice. Of an older woman calling for Elijah. Gavin and Carl always thought that it was one of his professors and left it at that. Though paranoia could get to people after a while of not knowing what was going on. That was the thing, though, with this sort of thing. Elijah was a certifiable genius, the guy had an IQ of 171, and he intended on putting it to work. He said he was taking both day  _ and _ night classes. He told them that he was going to have barely any time to himself outside of schoolwork and building that damn robot. He was trying to build a company that would be able to help him build said robot. 

But nothing for three weeks was unacceptable. Actually, it was a little longer than that. It was three and a half weeks. Gavin made a point to message Elijah every day because he knew it would be hard for him to go so many miles away without knowing anyone, and Elijah would always send him messages back throughout the day and when he was going to bed. But he hadn’t sent anything after Gavin had left him that voicemail. There was radio silence, even when Carl tried to message or call him. Hell, the group chat on discord was a lost cause. Needless to say, Gavin was getting very worried. Especially because his quarter ended on the fifteenth and he was supposed to be home by now. Elijah had never mentioned staying with anyone. There was never even the mention of new friends besides the professor he had really been able to work well with. Apparently they clicked together and started working on the robot. It made sense considering he was there for AI development, and looking to graduate earlier than any of his peers. It was something Gavin was terrified of. They were young and stupid, and Elijah was a chronic dumbass despite having such an IQ. 

So to say that Gavin and Carl were at their wits end was an understatement. Carl had just about flown out to Rhode Island before they finally heard back from him. Some short message saying he wasn’t dead or kidnapped, just too busy getting everything in order from the end of his stay there. Apparently he was included in the graduating class, and was allowing himself some time to explore Rhode Island. As well as getting to putting some finishing touches on the robot with the help of his AI professor. Who was apparently letting him stay at her house, which definitely set off warning bells in Gavin’s head. Elijah was young and stupid. He never mentioned the voicemail, and immediately went back offline after sending the message. Which set Gavin on edge. Beyond on edge. Gavin felt like he had been thrown off a cliff, and there was a rope being thrown after him but it was just out of reach. Elijah had left the two of them with nothing. They had no idea how he was doing. Though Gavin knew something Elijah didn’t know he did. He would call their mother at a different time to check in with her, just as he had promised to at the airport. 

While she was asleep, Gavin checked her phone to see if Elijah had called her. He hadn’t. Not since May, before Gavin left him the voicemail about the situation. If he was that far into denial...then that could have broken him. The way Elijah spoke about how the robot was the last resort. How their mother was going to be just fine because she was strong and tough. Gavin set her phone back down on the table beside her bed and sighed to himself. Elijah was pushing away his problems. He was so deep in denial that he was pushing away what was in front of him in favour of the fantasy he had created. That wasn’t who he was. That wasn’t Gavin’s older brother. He hoped that once Elijah came home, Gavin would recognise him again. That there would be the Elijah he knew and grew up with. Hopefully he would be home soon. 

As Gavin left the hospital, he winked at the nurse at reception on his mother’s floor. The guy just rolled his eyes and smiled while giving Gavin a wave. They had never spoken a word to each other, and yet Gavin felt like they were somewhat friends. He also thought the guy was cute, so that was an added bonus. But with a bag slung over his shoulder, Gavin made his way outside and back to his car. He was actually going back home tonight. For once he wasn’t going to Carl’s or to Chris’ because he didn’t want to go back to a place where he would be alone. But he had to go back eventually, he was starting to work full-time at the garage. So he figured he might as well stay in the place he was paying the bills for. Not that Carl didn’t offer to help him out, but he already had it under his control. Gavin had turned into a full fledged adult at sixteen, and every time he thought about it the world went fuzzy. So he didn’t think about it as he drove home. He put on  _ My Chemical Romance _ and sang along as if his life depended on it. It sort of did. It wouldn’t be all that great if his world went fuzzy while he was driving. 

By the time Gavin had gotten home, it was raining. It was also quarter after ten. He needed to go into the garage at nine, so he hurried inside, locked the door, and immediately stripped down to his boxers to sleep. The pillow and blanket left on the couch were just as he had left them that morning. For a second Gavin thought about what his life was, who he had become because he experienced these things. As he laid on the couch, feeling the familiar fabric under his body, he thought about the same exact thing he did every night as he fell asleep. When would it be over? When would everything finally end and he would be freed from the limbo he and his family was in? It sounded awful to think about and he was well aware of that. But his mother was suffering, she was constantly in pain. Then there was the worry Elijah had forced both Gavin and Carl through. Shit, his mom was basically Chris’ aunt, and they loved each other so much, he was torn up about everything too. Not to mention how distraught Hank was every time he came to visit. Whether at the house or in the hospital, he never looked quite comfortable. 

But regardless of all of that, Gavin closed his eyes. He wondered if he would have been a different person if he hadn’t experienced what he had. Of course he would still be Gavin Reed, but he wouldn’t be  _ Gavin Reed. _ There would just be some other guy walking the earth with the same face and name. It wouldn’t have been him, even if he thought it could still be him. There were sirens outside, and Gavin wondered if they were for an ambulance or not. Maybe they were for a cruiser, or a firetruck. The morbid curiosity in his mind made him wonder if someone was dying and had to be rushed to the ER. One of the very last noises Gavin registered as hearing was his own voice. Soft and rough with exhaustion. Quietly saying goodnight to his mother, then to his brother, then to Chris, to Carl, to Hank. The sirens had faded off into the night, as did his conscious mind. 

  
  


\---

  
  


_ July 1st 2019 2:42 AM _

  
  


The sound of the front door being opened woke Gavin up, and he brandished the first thing he saw as a weapon. It was a magazine. He looked down at it incredulously as if it had insulted him before rolling it up and holding it like a bat. If he was going out, then he was going out looking like he had a fighting chance at least. Just as Gavin swung his hand over his head and charged forward to attack the intruder, a soft feminine voice apologising rather quickly. Then he was flat on his back on the ground, having gotten the wind knocked out of him. A light turned on, and above him were two people. One of them was his brother. Who he hadn't properly heard from in a month. Gavin was up on his feet in an instant and running at his brother full speed. Before Elijah could properly register what was going on, Gavin was already on him. Clinging to him in a hug and scolding him for being silent for so goddamn long. The same soft voice from before apologised again and said that it was her fault, she didn’t mean to keep Elijah away from home for so long. 

As Gavin let go of his brother to assure the girl it was fine, he saw a blue circle on her head. It glowed and it swirled in the side of her head. It was almost three in the goddamn morning, he had work at nine. Gavin decided to just tell her it was okay and they could go sleep in the brothers’ old room. He was too tired to try and make sense of why Elijah’s girlfriend had some weird LED implant in the side of her head. Weird people did weird things. The reason why she had a circle in her head wasn’t something Gavin felt he could handle at the moment, so he flopped back down on the couch and tiredly mumbled out that they needed to keep it down. He had work in the morning and was getting shitty enough sleep lately as it was. Some sort of sound came from Elijah before his girlfriend hushed him gently. One of them sat down on the edge of the couch just as Gavin was about to drift back into the beautiful land of sleep. 

  
  


“Gavin, are you alright? If you need to rest, you can always call out of work.” Elijah’s girlfriend spoke in such a friendly and maternal tone that Gavin was instantly angered by it. She had no right to try and mother him. “You need your rest, you should call out tomorrow.”

“Can’t actually, the one guy who was supposed to be with em in the morning quit, and the guy in the afternoon got fired. So it’s just me an’ Ross at the garage, and we gotta keep that place afloat somehow. Besides,” Gavin rolled over so his back was facing her. “I need the money for bills an’ shit. I’d also get much better rest if you left me alone so I  _ could _ rest.” 

“Gavin, I’m--” Elijah actually sounded upset. “I know this is unexpected and I’m sorry, but I need to talk to you.  _ We _ need to talk to you.”

“Not interested. Goodnight, Elijah. Goodnight Elijah’s girlfriend.”

  
  


At that, Gavin felt Elijah’s girlfriend pick him up around the waist and stand up with him just to drop him on the floor. She was a tiny little thing! How the hell would she pick him up so effortlessly?! There was no deep breath, no grunt sort of noise, no working up to standing with him. She just scooped him up! Gavin stared up at her from his spot on the floor, not fully awake again and knowing he wouldn’t be sleeping any time soon. The girl sat on the couch and patted to her left for Elijah to sit on the middle cushion. Gavin got on the other side of his brother. The brother he hadn’t properly heard form in a month. Then Elijah began to explain everything. It was okay now, he had accepted that their mother was nearing the end of her life and he knew there was nothing he could do for her. It was welcomed news. What wasn’t welcomed news was the announcement that the girl he brought home was the robot he said he was working on to show their mother. 

He insisted that it was a girl and her name was Chloe. But that would change soon enough, Elijah had a thumb drive that was ready and waiting for it’s files. Once he figured out how to properly connect a functional cerebral scanning technology to it, then he would take the data in it and put it on the thumb drive. Then he would upload it into another robot body. The original, the one sitting on the couch that looked like a girl in her twenties, was going to house their mother. Elijah’s eyes sparkled with something that Gavin had never seen before. His words were rushed and his hands were moving a miles a minute as he announced that everything was okay, everything was fine, they wouldn’t get abandoned. They could still have their mother in their lives and everything would go back to normal. He just needed to have the scanning technology made, and everything would go back. The voicemail Gavin left had said their mother was given two years, that was more than enough time for him to try and figure out how to get it to work. How to hook it up to the robot. Try to hook it up to their mother and transfer her consciousness from her human body into a robot one. 

Gavin squinted at his brother in the hopes that maybe he was still super tired and he was hearing things wrong. He scanned his brother with his eyes and tried to find any indication that he might be in a different state of mind. That maybe he had gotten into drugs and was just high or something. Maybe if they found something on him, it would explain why he was acting like that. Why he was seemingly manic. But all Gavin found was that Elijah genuinely believed that it would work. That some sort of sci-fi technology was suddenly going to exist and everything was going to go back to the way it was. But even if it worked, even if Elijah found a way to do it, nothing would ever be the same again. Their mother wouldn’t be  _ human _ anymore. She’s be some amalgamation of human and machine. She wouldn’t even really be alive. Because if she was alive, then she could die. If she was in a body that would live forever, then she wasn’t living. She would be trapped. In an endless existence with no hope for reprieve. 

Just as he was afraid of; Gavin no longer recognised the man sitting in front of him. This wasn’t his brother. This was a scared little boy playing at mad scientist. Clinging to and grasping at the idea that maybe he wouldn’t have to be alone. Maybe he wouldn’t have to lose someone he loved. Maybe he could save his family, save his own soul, by twisting fate and playing god. Elijah was deeply traumatized by his biological parents abandoning him. His own mother never even getting out of the car to say goodbye despite being the one to tell him he was going to be living with someone else from now on. Gavin knew that it had seriously fucked with Elijah’s mind and how he formed relationships with other people, why he strived for approval from older women. But he had no idea that it had left such a  _ deep _ emotional scar in his brother’s mind. The fact that he had let himself get so bad, so deep into his own head and his own fears, was worrying.

  
  


Gavin was terrified for his brother.

  
  
  
  



	16. Chapter 16

_ July 4th 2019 9:38 AM _

  
  


Having Elijah back home was an adjustment. Mostly because of the not-a-girl he had brought home with him, claiming it was the robot he was planning on GLaDOS-ing their mother into. On one hand, Gavin could actually keep an eye on him and make sure the guy took care of himself. On the other, there was the pressing matter of the fact that Elijah was seriously hellbent on making that scanning thing work. Gavin’s nerves were frayed at this point and he didn’t know how long it would be until he finally lost it. Because boy was Elijah starting to really get on his nerves. Not even for regular reasons that siblings had, but just from existing within the same space would make Gavin roll his eyes and move to the other room. He hated that he felt like that, how much bitterness he held towards his big brother and lifelong best friend. But people grew and changed. Elijah just happened to grow more unhinged. Gavin happened to become an angrier person. 

Soon enough, Gavin gathered some of his mother’s things and stuck them into his bag. More trashy romance novels for her to read. He may or may not have read a little bit of them and started to like the genre, they were actually pretty well written. Gavin set the bag down on the counter as he grabbed some bread to stick in the toaster. It seemed like Elijah was already awake and at the workbench in the living room, the robot right beside him and speaking with him softly. The sound of her voice made Gavin’s upper lip curl. God, he hated that fucking thing. He could excuse Elijah for the trauma reasons, that was completely understandable. But this? This was a delusion at best. Elijah had lost himself in some fantasy that he could actually save her, despite the fact that he couldn’t. No one could. It was shitty and it made Gavin feel even worse every time he thought about it, but that was the reality. People died, that’s what people did. That was what made them _ people. _ If her mind was stuck in that  _ thing, _ then she couldn’t die. She wouldn’t be a person anymore. Just an echo of someone they used to know. 

The toaster popped his bread back up, effectively toasting it. He didn’t even bother with butter or jam or peanut butter. Gavin just grabbed the two slices of bread and his Gatorade before heading toward the door. He paused for a moment at the door, trying to decide whether or not to tell Elijah where he was going. He and the robot already knew he didn’t have work today. The robot wouldn’t have questioned it because it’s curiosity was programmed, it wasn’t real, so it didn’t matter. Though Elijah might be wondering where he was going. Turned out Gavin had been standing there long enough to warrant the robot asking him if he was alright. With a carefully level voice, he told it that he was. All he was doing was debating whether or not to drag Elijah to the hospital. The robot actually smiled and said they would go with him. Apparently it  _ wanted _ to meet their mother. It  _ wanted  _ to know the woman it existed because of. It said that meeting her would be an  _ honour _ and that it would  _ love  _ it if it was allowed to come along. Then it had the audacity to say she was almost like it’s mother as well, because it wouldn’t exist if not for her existence. It took every fiber of Gavin’s being not to try and tear the damn thing apart at that, and he just forced a smile instead. 

Sure, they could come along. It actually  _ would _ be good if Elijah and the robot went to visit. Because if their mother saw just how bad Elijah had gotten, then she would be able to tell him that what he was doing wasn’t okay. That he needed to slow down, talk to someone and work through the emotions he was feeling. Maybe Gavin was a hypocrite in that. It wasn’t like he was talking to anyone about it. In fact, he actively avoided talking about it because everyone got awkward as soon as he brought it up. It made him feel wrong. So he learned not to talk about the fact that humans died. But if their mother, who was a nurse, could convince Elijah how important it was to talk through shit, then they were golden. He would see that he couldn’t just live life in a fantasy state. That life was life, and it was important, because it ended some day. Hopefully that would work. Hopefully that would be able to get it through Elijah’s head that he needed a break, he needed to step back and just look at the world around him. Ground himself in reality again. As shitty as reality was. 

So the two humans and the robot got into the car. Gavin was left alone in the front, Elijah and his robot going to the back seat to stay together. Whatever. If he wanted to sit in the back with his weird mom-bot, then Gavin wasn’t going to say no. It kept Elijah out of his hair at least. They kept each other out of his hair, actually. The robot asked Elijah all sorts of questions about the city and the world, Elijah would answer them to the best of his ability. Elijah asked her questions, probably routine machine stuff, and she answered every one of them in her sweet voice. Sweet, but still synthetic and mechanical. It wasn’t real. Gavin just had to remind himself that the thing sitting in his back seat wasn’t real. No matter how real it actually looked. He thought it was a real girl when he first saw it, and that could be dangerous for the world. For humans and machines to be so easily confused for one another. If anything came of this machine’s creation, then the others would need some way to identify them. The little circle in the head wasn’t a bad idea. Easily seen and easily identifiable. Maybe that was why Elijah had put it there. Probably not, knowing him. But Gavin could hope. 

By the time they had gotten to the hospital, he had already finished his toast and mostly his Gatorade. That was also when the robot had decided to talk to him. It said some shit about how he needed to take better care of himself and eat better. Also something about how he should be sleeping in a bed instead of on the couch. Elijah had the audacity to agree with it even. When he was the one who probably didn’t take care of himself while he was working on the damn thing. Though Gavin just forced a smile and looked back at it through the rear view mirror and said that there was a reason why he did the things he did. Also that it wouldn’t understand because it wasn’t a person. The conversation ended there as Gavin pulled into the parking spot and turned the car off. This was going to be one hell of a visit. 

The three of them walked into the building, Elijah paused for just a second. For that second, Gavin swore he saw his brother again. The weird kid who just loved robots and wanted to help the world. But the second of clarity was over in an instant. Gavin no longer recognised the man beside him once again. He led them through the hospital, greeting some of the staff as he passed them by, and eventually ended up outside of his mother’s door. Yeah, it would still be better if Gavin went in first. He knocked on the door with a smile, as he had always done, and beamed when he saw his mother was awake and reading. He came in with no hesitation. If there was one upside to having to be in and out of a hospital to visit someone, it was that you certainly got used to having to see everything. The machinery and the various tubes with fluids in them. Gavin chatted with his mother for a few minutes in the hopes that Elijah would get the idea and come in by himself. Though when he looked back to the doorway, he saw his brother frozen. He was back again, the brother Gavin had known. The robot’s light was yellow, flickering red every one and again. He looked back at their mother instead, realising just how much the robot looked like her.

  
  


“Sit, sit, and introduce me to your friend!” She smiled wide, just like she always did. “Elijah, come in and sit down! Tell me about school and your friend here!”

“This...is Chloe. I made her. She’s an android, and she’s going to help you.” Elijah very slowly stepped forward. He didn’t sit down, but the robot did. It said on the edge of the bed and took their mother’s hand in it’s own. “Don-Don’t worry, Mom. She’s going to save you. You’re going to be fine, we’ll go back to normal as soon as I can figure everything out.”

“Figure what out, sweetheart?” 

“How to save you. What else would I be talking about?” Elijah glanced at Gavin, who quickly focused on taking the extra novels out of his bag and stacking them on the table. Elijah continued. “I guess he didn’t, that doesn’t surprise me very much. He seems very against the idea. But I’m going to figure out how to save you, keep you alive, by transferring your conscious mind into an android body. That body is going to be Chloe’s.”

  
  


There was silence. It stretched on long enough that Gavin looked up to see the three of them awkwardly looking at each other. Then came the pained tone of voice from their mother as she said Elijah’s name. Before she could say anything, he spoke up again. He explained the scanning technology, the thumb drive for the robot’s files, the connection process, how he was going to save their mother. His voice cracked at one point. He didn’t cry, but he sounded so dangerously close to it. The robot moved to hold one of his hands, but he pulled it away. Elijah frantically tried to explain to their mother that he just wanted to make sure that she was okay. He wanted her to continue on with her life so they could hurry up and get back to normal. He had a company now, he called it CyberLife, and pretty soon he would be able to take care of her if need be. The sentiment was lost on Gavin. Elijah hadn’t noticed the sneer on his brother’s face at the statement and continued on with talking. 

He had consulted with a neuroscientist on many occasions, a professor who he had started to work with for his little project. They brainstormed ways it could work. Elijah openly admitted he never said he intended to practice the theory, he kept saying it was purely hypothetical to the professor. He knew it was outside of basic ethics. He knew that what he was doing was pushing what it meant to be alive and what it meant to exist. What it meant to be human. But he just wanted her to be okay. He just wanted her to stay alive so they could be a family. Elijah’s voice broke again, and the tears started to fall. He didn’t want to be abandoned again. He couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t be able to handle it if his mother left him again, especially without saying goodbye. But if this worked, then he wouldn’t have to experience it. She wouldn’t have to die and their family would stay intact. It was mutually beneficial. 

Then she asked about the robot. She asked about Chloe, and what would happen to whatever files were inside of it. Elijah stood at the foot of the bed, lips parted and silent in shock. The robot decided to speak up. Said that it was created for that very purpose, it would be honoured to have it’s files transferred to another body so she could live. After all, she was the reason for it’s very being. What kind of machine would it be if it didn’t follow the orders given to it? That statement made Gavin stare at it. It looked so human. It looked just like a girl in her early twenties, ready to take on the world and live her life filled with her own free will. But saying something like that told him just how much of a machine it really was. He wasn’t the only one. Elijah managed a smile when the robot said it, saying that see, everything was okay because it was just following what it’s objective was. It was adhering to it’s programming by letting itself be transferred from body to body. Everything was taken into account. 

Their mother’s viewpoint wasn’t. She looked Elijah right in the eye and said she wasn’t going to let herself be uploaded into some girl. Gavin nearly pointed out that it wasn’t a girl, but knew better than to speak up during that time. His mother continued, saying that it was morally and ethically wrong to be doing what he was doing. She was so incredibly proud of him for creating a new sentient being. There was no way that could be denied with it sitting right on the edge of her bed. But she was at the end. She was ready. As much as she hated that she was dying and she wasn’t going to be able to watch her sons grow up and become the best versions of themselves they could be, she had made her peace with the world and accepted she wasn’t going to be in it for much longer. Their mother reached out for Elijah, and he backed away with a terrified expression on his face. He ran out of the room, leaving behind Gavin and the robot with their dying mother. 

  
  


“Ma, I know you don’t have years and years left. But how--” Gavin blinked away tears and took a deep breath. “How long do you have? The nurses said two years. They just said that to make me feel better, didn’t they?”

“They did. They have a habit of doing that with kids.” She patted the robot’s hand as it got up and quietly said it was going to go get Elijah. “By now, I’ve got around six more months.”

“Ma--”

“I’ve talked to Carl about this at length, since you’re not eighteen yet.” Her smile came back, though it was obviously forced. “He’s going to have legal guardianship of you boys, take care of you until you figure out what you want to do. I left the cottage to you, since you’re taking care of it.”

“Ma, I can’t--” The tears finally fell and Gavin looked at his mother, feeling like someone had just shot him in the chest. “I can’t do this by myself.”

“You won’t. You know that.”

  
  


He did. He just thought he had longer before he needed to.

  
  
  
  



	17. Chapter 17

_ October 14th 2019 2:21 PM _

  
  


School was weird, now. First of all, Elijah was out and building his company. Second of all, it was likely going to be during the school year that their mother would-- It was going to be a shit year, and Gavin was supposed to graduate. Carl and Hank already said they would be there, and Chris’ parents were going to be rooting for him, too. But his own mother wouldn’t be there. At that point, Gavin had half a mind to invite Ross if he had the time. He had really clicked with his boss, the blend of Millenial and Gen Z humour was pretty great. With school back in session though, it would be harder for him to support both himself and his mother. Elijah had already said he was going to help out, but he was so busy with his company that Gavin didn’t entirely believe him. That stress on top of making sure his mother was relatively alright, as well as the fact that there was a fuckign robot living under his roof, made Gavin an angry and stressed out mess. It wasn’t like the school didn’t know his mother was dying. They knew. They just didn’t do anything to help reduce the stress in his school environment. 

He had already been threatened with suspension from the vice principal twice. The first time it was because he came to school late on Monday without any notice of being late. He had to work late on Sunday, and was exhausted upon getting home. He refused to let the robot cook dinner for him so he did it himself, and then went right to bed. He woke up at nine, and rushed to get to school. The fact was that he was still there for most of the day and only missed one class. The other time was for being sarcastic to his workshop teacher and corrected them when he got something wrong about mechanics. The teacher didn’t like that Gavin knew the subject better than he did and decided to write him up for being disrespectful and causing a disturbance in the classroom. Gavin knew it wasn’t a disturbance, he just was overtired and correcting the teacher. What was so bad about learning something new about something you liked enough to teach? That time, the vice principal threatened to call his mother. Gavin just laughed and told the guy to go ahead and do it, she probably would be resting because of the fact that she was in the hospital. Dying. 

Since then, no teacher had threatened to call his mom. They hadn’t threatened to suspend him for his behaviour. Gavin could keep himself in line most of the time, he really could. He had a very good handle on his emotions and it continued to stay that way for at least two months. He’d get snippy and downright rude with people when he felt himself boiling over, but quickly reigned himself back in. This was high school. Everyone was dealing with their own shit. He didn’t need his sour attitude to be added to a list of reasons why someone hated coming to school. Though eventually that became easier to deal with. People staying out of his way and avoiding talking to him. No one asked him questions if he wouldn’t let them get close enough to. Everyone got the message. To stay the hell away from him, and nothing would be disrupted. It was a careful balance. School, home, and work. It honestly did make him feel better, when no one asked him questions. Because then he would be able to push the reality out of his mind and he could focus on school just a little easier. If he did good in school, then he could go on to an even better college to get a good job. Pay off the medical bills that he and his mother were swimming in. 

Ross, the saint that he was, allowed Gavin to work at basically any waking moment. Hell, he let him do his homework at the garage. Which just so happened to be his destination today. Ross allowed him to do his homework there, work whenever he saw fit, and paid him accordingly. Gavin, much to his own surprise, was getting to be Ross’ right hand. He knew the garage inside and out, could fix up nearly anything that he had the tools for. At this point he had been working for the guy for almost half a year, and Ross had already talked about giving him a raise because of how hard he worked. Gavin would have appreciated it, he really would have. But he just...didn’t know how emotions worked anymore. Every time Ross brought it up, Gavin would sort of shrug and laugh. He’d say he certainly wouldn’t turn it down if it was offered. He was pretty sure Ross knew he was having a hard time being a functioning human being. 

Simply put, Gavin needed a break. From everything going on in his life. A break from work, he was working so much that he started to bring the smell of grease with him everywhere. A break from school, kids were starting to point out that there was obviously something wrong with him and his life. A break from home, that damn robot was staying with him and trying to mother him any chance it got. Gavin just wanted to get away. From his responsibilities and what it meant to be himself. That robot was a reminder of how unhinged Elijah had become. The various texts from what few friends he still had buzzed around in his head. Gavin tried to ignore the pull to his phone, he was driving for fuck’s sake. He couldn’t just pick up his phone and read whatever it was he was going to read. His mother would kill him for that. So would Hank, actually. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to think about what they were saying in the messages. Worry was the main thing. They all said they were worried about him. How he was slowly turning into someone else, someone they started to lose touch with. Someone they weren’t able to recognise anymore. 

Once Gavin was safely parked in his parking space at work, he sighed and leaned back in his seat. The radio was still on, as was his seat belt. He just...didn’t have the energy to keep doing this. Sure he was a kid and that meant he had quite a bit of energy comparatively. But he was just a kid, he just turned seventeen, and he was thinking about bills and taking care of himself and his mother. Elijah seemed to be able to handle himself pretty well. Which was good, because Gavin didn’t know how much more he could take. He knew he was going to crash soon. It was only a matter of time before he completely broke down and had some sort of meltdown. He just hoped it would be in his car or something. He didn’t want his mother to see it, or Chris, especially not Carl, Hank, or Ross. If Elijah saw it...Gavin was pretty sure he’d punch his brother right in the face. If the robot saw. Well, if it suddenly was destroyed while Gavin was home, then no he wasn’t. Gavin was quickly deteriorating in his emotional strength. He picked up his phone, for reasons unbeknownst to himself. Maybe to make himself feel worse. Maybe to really drive it home just how shitty of a friend he had been over the last few months. 

  
  


_ HANK: hey kid, i know ur probably busy rn. but i wanted to check in w/ ya an see how ur doin. please actually get back to me this time gavin, im worried about you _

  
  


_ CHRIS: Helena and I were gonna go out bowling this weekend if you wanted to come with us? _

_ CHRIS: I know you wanna be left alone, man, I get you’re going through shit rn. But you still need people who can help you forget how much stress you’re under, too _

_ CHRIS: Just lmk if you’re even coming, okay? I get it if you don’t want to _

_ CARL: Gavin, I know that you’re very upset right now and you want to be left alone. But Just know I’m here if you want to talk about anything. I’m concerned about how you’re handling yourself, and I would like it if you at least called to let me know you were alright. _

_ ELI: When are you coming home? Chloe wants to get to know you more, you haven’t spoken a proper word to her since you two have met. _

_ ELI: On another note; I’m worried about you, Gavin. I know you haven’t been sleeping well for nearly half a year now. I’d like to speak with you when we both have a free couple minutes. Text me back this time, please. _

_ THE ROBOT: Good afternoon, Gavin! I was hoping we could have a talk about the kitchen after you get home. I’ve cleaned it to the best of my ability, though I was not exactly programmed for such a task and I fear it may not be up to your standards. If you could let me know how you like the kitchen arranged when you get home, that would be wonderful! Have a good day, Gavin! _

  
  


He never responded to any of the texts. Well, there was no way he’d be responding to the robot. Also probably no way he’d be responding to Elijah either. All those texts were from - fuck he couldn’t even remember - around a week ago probably. He was pretty shitty for not even responding to Carl. That one he actually felt bad about, genuinely and completely. For a second, he contemplated calling Carl right there in the car. But he was in the parking lot, and he needed to go inside. Gavin grabbed his work and school bags and turned his car off. Tonight was going to be an adventure in and of itself. Let alone with the idea of calling Carl getting stuck in his head. Gavin was spiralling, slowly, but still in the process of completely unravelling. He ignored the pain in his chest at the thought and jogged into the garage. This was normal. Gavin had his normal again. Once he told Hank about what was going on, he lost it. But this? The garage and the cars and the tools? This was his new normal and he wasn’t about to let go of it so easily. 

Gavin greeted the two customers who were sitting on the uncomfortable stools. Both two separate customers, they just happened to come in around the same time. After a few rounds of questions, Gavin got to work on the car he deemed more of a priority. The woman who brought it in actually knew a little bit about engines and tried to explain what was going on as best she could. That made Gavin’s job a whole hell of a lot easier. It also meant that he didn’t need to spend as much time on it, which resulted in her not having to pay as much. It was a win/win situation. As he worked on the car, he chatted with her. That was his favourite part of working at the garage lately. Striking up conversation with people who didn’t know he was still in high school and desperately trying to keep himself and his mother stable. 

They talked just like they happened to be friendly on the sidewalk. Customers spoke with him like they would any other person. Just friendly and willing to have some way to pass the time while they couldn’t actually go anywhere to do things. It was a way to keep the customer occupied and satisfied with the work. They got to see exactly what he was doing and how he was doing it, which usually made the customer feel better about having their car looked at. In turn, it allowed Gavin to have a little bit of a break from who he was. He wasn’t snippy, he wasn’t mean. He was allowed time to himself to behave like any regular human being, and never wanted to let it go. Gavin was given a distraction from everything going on in his life. He loved talking to his customers, and they loved being told what was going on with their cars. His friendly and open attitude and willingness to explain what was under the hood of the car was what made some of the customers come back. They were enamoured with how open and friendly he was, so they decided they liked the garage. 

He did good for the people of his city here, and he loved it. Here he could tell he was making a difference in their lives. Customers almost always walked away with a smile on their faces. All because of the fact that he had repaired a piece of machinery, or he had cleaned it, or replaced it. Gavin made a point to give the customers advice on how to keep their cars running smoother or for longer. He never lied to them and always showed them the prices, letting the customer pick what they paid for. Nothing more and nothing less. Because of his honesty and kindness, the customers were happy and kind in return. Which rippled out into the city little by little. It wasn’t much, and not nearly as much as Gavin liked, but he was helping his city. He liked that. It made him smile and feel like he had done something genuinely good for someone. It made him feel like he actually accomplished something amidst all of the chaos that raged around his regular life. 

  
  
  
  



	18. Chapter 18

_October 14th 2019 8:54 PM_

  
  


It was raining when Gavin got home. There was also an orange car in the driveway, and more lights on than usual. Carl had stopped by. Gavin groaned and picked up his backpack so he could run inside. It wasn’t like it was downpouring, and it was relatively comfortable despite rain in October. He’d been seventeen for all of a week, and already had someone in his house looking to talk to him about something. Because there was no way Carl stayed until almost nine for just a friendly chat. It had to be for a reason. Carl was a cryptic old guy sometimes and that was funny most of the time. Though the concept of the unknown only served to make Gavin uncomfortable these days, and he ran to the front door with a scowl on his face. The door was unlocked. As it usually was because apparently the robot was programmed with basic self defense moves. Apparently it liked it when Gavin got right home, had dinner, and went to bed. Because shaving off that half a minute of unlocking and relocking the door was so vital to his maintenance of his health. 

Gavin went inside anyway. Despite every cell in his body screaming for him to stop and get back in the car. To avoid going home so he wouldn’t have to talk about whatever Carl wanted to talk about. Gavin opened the door, and then closed it, leaning against the surface to take his shoes off and leave them on the tray next to it. He set his bag down by the couch and hung up his windbreaker on the hook on the wall. Carl cleared his throat when he must have realised Gavin was avoiding him, and then did it again when Gavin only stood staring at the wall for a little while. Eventually the seventeen year old looked over to him, only to see that Elijah and the robot were sitting with him at the table. Gavin felt so small in that moment. With Carl staring at him with some somber look in his eyes. With Elijah’s eyes showing just a piece of the man he used to be before all of this shit with the robot started. It was gone before Gavin could even crack the slightest smile at the sight. Then there was the robot, looking at him with a perfect copy of a human in distress. He wanted to rip it’s damn skin off. Tear it apart piece by piece and throw it away. Because it was just a thing. It looked like a human girl, but it was just a machine. It had no right to look at him like that. It had no rights to begin with.

After a beat of them all looking at each other, Gavin sat down. He cracked a joke about having to eat and then go to bed so he could repeat the same process tomorrow. He was the only one who smiled at it. Understanding that whatever was going on had to be serious if Elijah was actually back at the house, Gavin shut his mouth and motioned for Carl to say whatever he wanted to say. Apparently Parent-Teacher conferences were on the sixteenth, and Gavin wasn’t exempt from that. Considering the fact that his mother certainly wasn’t able to attend, Carl had offered. He informed the school he would be there already. Gavin knew that was when the conferences were. He intentionally hadn’t told Carl about it because he knew that he’d go. However, Carl didn’t know that. He had no way of knowing that the conference was that day unless someone gave him a schedule of the year. With a quick glance at the fridge, Gavin saw that a different magnet was holding the school year’s schedule up. He put the grey tabby cat head on it before, now a pink flower was holding it up. Someone took it and made a copy for Carl. Elijah took it and made a copy for Carl. 

For a second Gavin thought he could see his brother again. Elijah genuinely looked worried about him, despite the cocky attitude he still had. For a second, Gavin thought that maybe things could go back to the way they were before, relatively speaking of course. He didn’t exactly listen to Carl as he spoke. Something about going to the meeting and informing the school that he was going to be his legal guardian once the paperwork went through. Gavin paid more attention to how Elijah was looking at him, and looked right back. He could see him, the Elijah that came to their house one day in October. The Elijah that had been a pirate for Halloween with him. The Elijah that had a meltdown in the car on the side of the road when he said he thought their mother was dying. For a second, Gavin had hope that his brother would come back to him some day. His best friend. 

Gavin lamented the loss of his brother and best friend. Because the man sitting at the table wasn’t the one he grew up with. He was a product of all of the hurt and trauma his brother had gone through. He looked like Elijah, sounded like Elijah, and dressed like Elijah. But Elijah liked science-fiction novels and shows, he stayed up unreasonably late reading textbooks and doing research, Elijah made a point to check in with Gavin every day and make sure that he was doing okay back in Detroit. The man sitting at the table looked like his brother, but was an echo of him. A shell. A bastardization of the man Gavin had grown to love over the years. As well as call a bastard from time to time. Gavin looked at the man sitting at the table and was confused. This was his brother, he was still in there and still fighting to be who he used to be. He was fading, becoming someone entirely new and unwelcome in Gavin’s life.

  
  


“Gavin, are you listening to me?” Carl reached over the table and put a gentle hand on his forearm. Gavin jolted at the touch and pulled away. It had been a long time since someone had physically interacted with him. “I need to know you understand what I told you.”

“Parent-Teacher conferences, you’re going and telling the school you’re gonna be my legal guardian.” Gavin stood up and made his way into the kitchen. “You might as well stay the night then, _Dad,_ since I’ve gotta make dinner and then go to bed.”

“I don’t appreciate that tone, Gavin.” Carl got up from the table and leaned against the counter in the kitchen. Like he had when the brothers had gone to visit him for the very first time. “But I think I will stay the night. I need to make sure you’re alright.”

“Carl, can you give us a moment? Maybe introduce Chloe to some television? As long as you don’t get her into soap operas, I’ve got no complaints.” 

  
  


Elijah chuckled to himself at the last bit and Gavin watched the older man take the robot into the living room. It was silent save for the sound of the robot commenting on whatever Carl had put on. Gavin maneuvered around the kitchen getting ready to actually cook tonight since Carl was staying the night. He did have that fish in the fridge he was planning on making from a while ago. He preheated the oven accordingly, and got everything ready to put the fish in the oven. It just needed some time to get to the proper temperature, and then he could stick it in and avoid his family plus the robot. As Gavin grabbed some stuff to spice it with, thanks to YouTube videos, he noticed Elijah was watching him with something like sadness on his face. He almost wanted to ask why his brother was watching him like that. 

  
  


“We had to grow up way too quickly, Gavin. Aren’t you upset about that?” Elijah rubbed the back of his neck nervously and actively tried not to make eye-contact with Gavin. “Neither of us got the proper childhood we needed. Doesn’t that bother you?”

“Past doesn’t matter now. What matters is how we handle the present. I’m doing just fine by the way, brother dear, thank you for asking.”

“I’m serious, Gavin!” Elijah hissed at his brother and moved to grab his shoulders. Gavin flinched away. There was no way Elijah didn’t notice it. “What happened to you?”

“You want to know what happened to _me_ ?” He scoffed and shook his head. The oven beeped, and Gavin ignored his brother’s stare in favour of putting the fish on the rack. Once the timer was set, he faced his brother again with a frown. “What _hasn’t_ happened to me, Elijah?! Pretty bold of you to say all this shit about not being abandoned, when you’re the one who abandoned us! Left Carl and I on fucking read, and never called Mom after I left you that voicemail!”

“Gavin, hold on, I have my reasons--”

“For leaving us behind? When we were worried fucking sick about you? When I needed to know that you were _alright_ and _safe_ eight-hundred miles away?!” Gavin shoved his brother roughly, not even bothering to wipe away the angry tears streaming down his face. “You’re a piece of fucking work, Elijah. Get out of my kitchen. Go sit with your fucking robot. Let me cook in peace.”

  
  


By some miracle, Elijah listened. By some miracle, neither Carl or the robot had decided to come over and break up their little fight. Neither of them tried to come talk to Gavin. He took a deep breath and released it in the form of a sigh, at this rate he was going to land himself in the hospital with how stressful his life had been in the last two weeks. He’d have the time to go visit his mother at least. She understood he was busy, and told him she was alright with it. That didn’t make him feel any less shitty about it. That was his _mother,_ and he was leaving her alone in a hospital room. Though she was always so wonderful and full of happiness whenever he’d even call her. Her smile never faltered and her laugh was just as lively as ever, there wasn’t a day where she wasn’t just as he remembered her before everything. But he could also see how tired she was. How exhausted she was day in and day out, tired of everything going on around her. Gavin would have to be blind not to pick up on it. He visited her so often before. It was a gradual thing but he could see it. 

In the midst of his mind running itself in circles, Gavin heard the oven beep yet again. He grabbed a potholder and grabbed the tray to set it on top of the stove. It would be easier if he grabbed plates first so the fish could cool a little, make it just that much easier. Not that he had his appetite anymore. But Gavin was going to take care of his family regardless of how he was feeling. So two plates, two sets of silverware, and he started to set the table. It felt odd doing it again. He used to set the table with Elijah when they were kids, having fun doing it despite the mundane nature of the task. Gavin wiped away the tears and finished setting the table for them both, opting to wrap up his in tinfoil and stick it in the fridge instead. Gavin called Elijah and Carl to the table and bid them both goodnight before going to sleep in his own bed after months of avoiding it. 

Neither of them actually said anything to him, aside from telling him goodnight. Gavin was grateful for it as he undressed and flopped down on his bed. The frame shook and swayed from the force, and he almost had it in himself to smile. Instead, his mind wandered to the nights when he and Elijah were younger. When he first started to understand that Elijah wasn’t like him. He had trouble sleeping and so he would read at night. Just so he wouldn’t get bored, he always said. Eventually, Gavin started sitting up on his bed with him and listening to him read whatever book it was out loud. It was usually something science-fiction more often than not. He could never hope to count how many times they stayed up late like that, Gavin listening to Elijah reading science-fiction novels out loud. That was always something that he would look back on fondly, no matter how far apart he and his brother drifted. Those were some of the best moments he and Elijah had when they were kids. 

After some time simply laying in bed with the lights off, Gavin heard his door open. It closed rather quickly, and whoever opened and closed it didn’t say anything. After a beat, they moved. There was no blue light on the wall so it wasn’t the robot at least. Then the bed frame started to shake and sway slightly as someone went up the ladder. Well, it wasn’t just someone. It had to be Elijah. Though why he had actually kept his mouth shut was a mystery to Gavin. He half expected his brother to start trying to get his word in, to try and explain why he had left everyone in the dark for so long. Instead of his voice, Gavin only heard him moving. And felt the bed frame shake as he tried to get comfortable in his bed. Eventually, the bed stilled. A light shined from the top bunk and a soft hiss of a curse followed it. 

  
  


“Eli, I know you’re busy an’ shit. But go see Mom. I don’t have the time to, and she needs someone.”

“I don’t--”

“Goodnight, Eli.” Gavin paused for a moment, considering if he should continue. Why not, it wasn’t like anyone could hold it against him. “I love you, you bastard.”

“Love you too, Gavin.”

  
  
  
  



	19. Chapter 19

_ December 13th 2019 3:01 PM _

  
  


Things were never going to be the same. Elijah only ever showed up to visit their mother when Gavin hounded him to. Though at the moment, Gavin wasn’t able to go to the hospital to visit. Nor was he able to go to work. At the current moment, he happened to be sitting at home. With the robot. Who was holding an ice pack to his eye and gently scolding him for getting into a fight just before winter break. It wasn’t like it could understand, though, it didn’t have emotions. It just reflected what was thrown at it. The robot was just a ton of scrap materials thrown together to somehow create a functional artificial being. Frankly, Gavin felt it had no place in his home. Elijah did, Carl did, but not that damn robot. It enabled Elijah. It told him that everything would be okay, it would take care of things at home. Gavin wasn’t having any of it. He hated how much he leaned into the cold of the ice pack, into the damn thing’s touch. It had been so long since he physically interacted with anyone. He hated how much he depended on the touch of something that wasn’t even alive, in order to feel alive himself. 

Eventually enough was enough and Gavin shoved the hand away with a curse. It tried to scold him, it was very rude to suddenly react the way he did. He honestly couldn’t care less. What with the whole looming information that his mother was going to die in a few months and there was nothing any of them could do to stop it. There was kind of something more important to think about than being polite. Being polite wouldn’t matter for much longer anyway, he was going to be known as the kid whose mother died. His classmates were going to avoid him. They were going to practically ostracize him, who knew if Chris would even stick around. Gavin wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to stay. It wasn’t as if Gavin hadn’t needed to get talked to for his “disruptive behaviour” multiple times. But who could blame him? He was seventeen, and already had to understand how adult life worked. Most of the life lessons he should have gotten from his mother, he got from a random cop who brought him home because of loitering and an old painter who was practically his father. Not to mention the robot that tried to work it’s way into his life and force it’s own life lessons down his throat. 

Needless to say, Gavin wasn’t having a great time existing. His first instinct, after getting out the door to avoid the robot, was to blow off some steam. Detroit was a pretty big place. There was a safe bet that anywhere Gavin went, he’d be able to find some sort of distraction. He was seventeen, but he was also tall and muscular. Chances were, that if he were to go walking, no one would bother him. He lacked the foresight to grab his phone apparently, but that wasn’t that much of a big deal. It made it that much harder for the robot to track him. So, wrapping his hoodie around himself a little bit tighter and sticking his hands in his pockets, Gavin went walking. The sun would set in about an hour so he had to make it quick. Though it was an hour walk into the city, so there was really no point worrying about it that much. With a shrug and a sigh, Gavin pulled his hood up and continued down the sidewalk. Hopefully no one would mistake him for a threat and try to attack him. Not that such a worry was a high priority. But it still would have sucked if he had to try and fight someone in snow, his shoes had terrible traction. 

Though if that was the worst thing for him to think about while out and about, that was okay. If the texture of the snow in relation to the soles of his sneakers was the worst, then he’d take it. Then there was the feeling of the steadily falling snow. It was cold and started to bite through his hoodie after a few minutes. But it was okay, it was fine, Gavin was fine. All he had to do was focus on not slipping in the snow and everything would be golden. Right as rain. The rest of the world didn’t matter so long as he could get away. From the robot, from the cottage, from interacting with other people. If he played his cards right, no one would really notice him. There would just be another hooded person floating through the city. No name, no history, no problems. Gavin wished he was one of those people. No name, so he couldn’t be tired of any family. No history, no one knew him so there was nothing to tell. No problems, god how he wished he didn’t have any problems. How he wished that he was just...someone else. Someone who didn’t know tragedy or pain or remorse the way he did. 

Eventually Gavin got into the city. Not too far into the urban area, but close enough that neon lights for bars and convenience stores to blink at him in the darkness. It almost made him smile. Seeing people out and about despite the cold weather that was undoubtedly biting at them too. As they left sores and rushed to get back to their cars, or as they struggled to wrap their scarves around themselves tighter. The sight was almost nice. He still moved on though, nice wasn’t for him. Those people had no names to him, they ceased to exist when they went around a corner or he looked away from them. They were background characters for him. Space filler. They had no ties to him, therefore deserved the niceness and the happiness that might come their ways. At least he hoped they deserved it. Wouldn’t that be like a kick to the gut, though? If he willingly wished good fortune upon some asshole. It would just be his luck, too, because he apparently had such a shitty radar for terrible people. Or maybe everyone else did. Gavin didn’t know. He didn’t care enough to know either, really. 

So upon hearing a scuffle as he passed an alleyway, he kept moving. There was a slight pause in his footsteps, but he kept moving. It was Detroit. Bad things happened all the time. Good things happen to bad people, and bad things happened to good people. What was another good ro bad thing to add to the list? But for whatever godforsaken reason, he couldn’t help the little hero's complex voice in his head. The voice that told him there was nothing he could do for his mother, but there was something he could do for whoever was in that alleyway. He tried to shove it down, to yell back at it that no one was bothering to save him, so what was the point of it. If no one was going to help  _ him, _ save  _ him, _ then why should he even bother with whoever was in the alley? No, he was just going to start going back home. It was late and he was freezing. However, that meant having to go by the mouth of the alleyway again. Whatever, it wasn’t like it really mattered in the grand scheme of things. Humans were depraved creatures. Whatever happened, happened, it wasn’t any of Gavin’s business. 

But that damn hero’s complex threw his instincts out the window when he heard something glass break, and a threat to kill someone with it. His legs thrusted him forward into the alleyway before he could even register what he was doing. There was someone just about his size pinning someone smaller against the brick, holding an intact glass bottle out to the side. A quick glance showed that another had been dropped and shattered on the ground. The smaller person shook and cried out for someone to help them. They looked around, finally catching Gavin’s eye, and screaming for help. The other one noticed him. It wasn’t like Gavin wasn’t able to handle himself in a fight, he could do that just fine. As evident by his growing black eye from earlier in the day. But he never went up against someone armed with a glass bottle before, so forgive him if he was convinced he was going to die when the bottle got smashed over his nose. There were pieces of glass sticking out of his face, but he just bared his teeth and lunged forward to tackle the asshole to the ground. Gavin was just happy he weighed enough to make the attacker stay on the pavement, heavily breathing through the adrenaline and only barely hearing the faint emergency call the other person was making in the background. 

He got out of the house at least. Did something good with the time he was wasting. Even if he was bleeding out of his face and had glass sticking into his flesh, as well as what would probably be a migraine later. But hey, for once the roles were reversed. For once the bad person had something bad happen to them. For once the good person, at least as far as Gavin knew, had something good happen. Gavin wasn’t sure where he fell in that equation, considering he was the variable. He was the good thing for the good person, he was the bad thing for the bad person. Maybe it was a good thing for him too. Jumping in to save the day, even if it was only for one person. It felt...oddly satisfying. He could tell why Daredevil and Spider-Man went out and did the things they did, even if they were just comic book characters. Not to say that he was suddenly going to slap on a spandex suit to run around the city avoiding his own problems by solving other peoples’. But man did that sound good right about now. 

However, Gavin’s half formed daydreams about becoming some masked vigilante were cut short much too soon by the encroaching sound of sirens in the distance. Right. The other person called the police, there was no way they didn’t. Gavin was bleeding out of his face. His face! There was probably glass stuck in it! With an aggravated sigh, he shook his head slowly to see just how much it would hurt. Not much, but it still didn’t feel great. He was probably going to need to be checked out by a doctor. How awful would that be, though? The day he can’t go into the hospital to visit his sick and dying mother, he ends up having to be admitted so he could get proper dressing for his wounds. Talk about involuntary visits. Maybe Hank was going to be the responding officer and he would understand. He would know how much Gavin didn’t want to show his face. Though more for emotional reasons and not because of the fact that he was  _ bleeding out of it. _

When someone came into the alleyway, Gavin immediately knew it wasn’t Hank. The voice wasn’t his. But it was some other guy who was probably around his age, which meant that Gavin might be able to pull some strings to not go. If the guy was friends with Hank, then he would respect Gavin’s wishes more. Right? That had to be how things went. Fuck the fact that he was under eighteen. Though when the guy came around to cuff the bastard Gavin was sitting on, he let out a soft curse and immediately told Gavin to go sit on the ground against the wall. Well that wasn’t great. It was probably all superficial bleeding though, anyway. There was a lot of blood circulation in the head, a lot of important stuff in there. It probably just looked worse than it was. Yeah, yeah it just looked worse than it was. Gavin smiled to himself, feeling a searing pain in his upper lip, and let out a hiss in response. Okay, so the adrenaline and shock of actually taking somebody down was wearing off. Pain was painful again and it  _ sucked. _

The guy who walked into the alley used his radio to call for Hank, rapidly speaking about the condition Gavin was in. Honestly, he felt fine. He felt great other than the pain in his upper lip. Everything was fantastic. What wasn’t fantastic was hearing Hank’s voice over the radio saying he’d meet this Collins guy at the hospital. All good things had to end, he supposed. The high of doing a good deed and saving someone who needed saving was quickly fading, and it left behind raw pain in his head. Gavin groaned as he was hauled up off the ground and forced to stand instead. The guy, Collins, guided him over to the paramedic and told him to just remain calm. Which meant that there was no way that Gavin was supposed to be calm in the situation. Whatever happened to his face must have been pretty bad. Fear collected inside of him, made him feel cold, like something was fighting to escape from him. But for everyone’s sake, he stayed still as the paramedic pulled out shards of glass and sewed his face back up. It was pretty awful being all numbed up in his face, but it was pretty cool to know that someone was stitching up his face. 

Maybe it would leave a badass scar. 

  
  
  
  



	20. Chapter 20

_ December 13th 2019 5:45 PM _

  
  


The paramedic said that Gavin needed to stay still, keep his face relaxed, otherwise he could tear open his stitches and cause his face to start bleeding again. There was only so much repair work they could do in the field, they said. Which made Gavin both impressed with how much damage the guy did to his face, and with how much inexperience that paramedic had. He understood only so much could be done at times. That was a given considering that it wasn’t like they could have an entire OR in a first aid kit. But if the guy did that much damage to Gavin’s face, then how long would the recovery time be? How long would it take before he could move his face enough to actually smile at his mother or laugh with his boss? Gavin made an upset noise in his throat at the thought and sat in the back of the ambulance, seeing as he certainly couldn’t ride with that Collins guy to the hospital. Besides, Hank said he was going to meet them there. It wasn’t like Gavin could get out of going. Not with Hank saying he was on his way. 

It felt like forever, it felt like three seconds. The ride to the hospital was over, and Gavin was guided out to the ER. They were better equipped to handle what had happened to his face. The paramedic gave him a gentle smile while handing him some paperwork to fill out. Right, because they needed an accident report or some shit like that. After that it was mostly just a lot of waiting. That was a good thing, really. If it was a lot of waiting around, then that meant he wasn’t that bad. He wasn’t in terrible condition. He was stable enough that the other people who needed more immediate care could get it. That, for whatever godforsaken reason, made his chest warm as he looked around. Families, individuals, various staff members. All nameless people. All people who held no significant meaning in his life. Yet there Gavin was, sitting on a gurney, relaxed as ever when some doctor came up to ask him what was going on and how he was doing. It wasn’t that hard to stay still, most of the numbing was still working. The doctor just assessed the stitches, recleaned the wounds, and reapplied some gauze. With some instructions on proper care, and a handful of gauze pads and how to use them correctly, Gavin was being ushered out the door.

Some time after walking out into the cold December parking lot, Hank ran out of his car and over to Gavin. Right, the guy called him over the radio. Hank said he would meet them at the hospital. For a second Gavin wondered if Hank would be mad that no one accompanied him to the ER. It was quickly replaced by the thought that it was pretty cool that Gavin had such a reputation for loitering that people knew to call Hank about it. But it also said something about Hank and how much he spoke to his coworkers about the kid who loitered at the gas station all the time. After being told he was in the clear and given some fresh bandages to change the ones over his nose and lip, Hank grabbed Gavin’s bicep and guided him back to the car. Which wasn’t a cruiser. It wasn’t one of those stupid disguised cop cars either. It was Hank’s actual car that he drove when he wasn’t at work, a gorgeous Oldsmobile that looked like she was treated like a goddamn princess. Gavin snorted, then regretted it as he felt a twinge of pain from his face. Stitches. He tried to thank Hank for the ride home, but he held up a hand every time Gavin went to talk. Here was the scolding for leaving without his phone. 

Hank eventually parked in the driveway and sighed. It was deep, bone weary. As Gavin unbuckled himself and thanked him for the ride home, Hank finally said something. It wasn’t much, and it wasn’t like it was that significant. But he smiled at Gavin and told him he was proud of him. Jumping into something like that wasn’t something just anybody would do. That was something a hero did, someone who did things for society and actively tried to better it. Gavin stopped. Everything stopped. He genuinely thought Hank was going to be angry with him because of the fact that he just charged into danger. That he had no regard for his own wellbeing and just...moved. But instead he was told that someone was proud of his choice. Completely unaware that there was no choice. There was no option. It wasn’t like he had some sort of stupid video game HUD and selected an action. Gavin...just  _ moved. _ Before he knew it, he was moving. 

  
  


“Hank, I didn’t make a choice back there.” Gavin half slurred his words because of the fact that some of his face was still numbed. “I just moved. That person needed help.”

“You know,” Hank looked out the windshield as he adjusted how he was sitting. “That’s what a lot of good people say. That their legs were moving before they could even register what was goin’ on.”

“Huh…” Gavin looked out the windshield at the house. He could see the robot and Elijah through one of the windows. “You think it’s like that with a person’s brain?”

“Think of a solution before anyone else?” Hank shrugged and leaned back a bit more. “That’s probably just what thinking outside the box is.”

“Cool.”

“You think your brother is like that?” 

“I fuckin’ hope so.”

  
  


Hank gave him an apologetic smile. It was almost nice. Though it also begged Gavin to explain what was going on, how he was doing. It was a desperate plea for an explanation that Gavin just...didn’t have. So he quietly thanked Hank for the ride home, got out of the car, and went inside. Inside where it was an absolute wreck. Elijah’s hair was down for once in his life and it looked like he was about ready to pull it all out. He was yanking on it, face flushed and tears in his eyes. Once he saw Gavin at the door, all hell broke loose. Elijah was yelling at the top of his lungs about how careless and idiotic Gavin had been. About how ignorant and annoyingly naïve his decision was. For another five minutes, Gavin just stood there. He stood in front of the door, the snow melting into his clothes and making him damp. He watched his brother become increasingly upset before the fucking robot put a hand on his back and told him to back off. 

It was Gavin's turn to completely lose it. He took a few steps forward, thrusting a finger at the robot and screaming that he wanted it out of his damn house. It was only encouraging Elijah’s delusional behaviour and in turn making his grip on the situation continue to slip. It was a cheap replacement for a mother, and one that he wouldn’t allow his brother to have. The robot was supposed to what? Just suddenly have their mother’s mind inside of it? Then everything would go back to the way they were before? That wasn’t how things worked. Gavin raised his voice further, knowing fully well that if he didn’t calm down he was going to pop some of his stitches. He knew that. He also just didn’t care. He yelled loud enough that his throat hurt, with enough force for him to know that his voice was going to be hoarse the next day. But he continued on. 

That robot was nothing but a reminder that their lives would never be normal. That their lives never were normal. That their mother was  _ dying, _ and she wasn’t going to just magically get better once Elijah had  _ somehow  _ managed to get her mind into a robot’s body. Then there was the whole problem with how one perceived their identity, and the fact that the robot only looked  _ similar _ to their mother. That robot was  _ not _ a copy of Caroline Reed. It was a bastardization of their mother’s image. It was nothing more than some frantic amalgamation of parts that happened to somewhat resemble their mother, and was programmed to act accordingly. It didn’t have emotions. It was programmed to copy them, to learn and reflect what it saw. It was programmed to be kind. It was programmed to smile. It was programmed to act like a mother to the two of them because Elijah was  _ scared. _ When it got down to it, Elijah was absolutely fucking  _ terrified. _

Because deep down he knew. He knew that their mother was dying, that it would only be a mere matter of months before she did. Elijah knew that their mother was dying, and he actively denied it because it hurt too much. But he was a rational man. That was a part of his identity, that sort of thing didn’t just go away. Elijah knew that their mother was dying, so he prepared for it. If there was the chance that his scanning technology or whatever the hell it was didn’t work, then he would need some sort of sick and morbid backup plan. So that was why the robot was programmed that way. It was meant to be some replacement. Some stupid copy of who their mother was. But there was something wrong with that theory, that idea. Not only would it cause Elijah to fall further down the hole he found himself in; but it also would encourage him to get lost in the fantasy of everything going back to normal. There was no more normal. Not for them. There never would be any semblance of normal in their lives again. 

As Gavin started to calm down more at the admittance of how nothing would ever go back to the way it was before, he watched his brother crumble. Elijah just...stared at him. He stared and he cried. The robot tried to assure him that everything was alright,, but he only gently pushed it away and said he was going to start getting ready for bed. Which, he pointedly glared at Gavin as he spoke, meant that neither of them were going to be speaking with him for the rest of the night. Ever the dramatic bastard. Gavin only rolled his eyes and waved Elijah off. The robot actually looked somewhat distraught for once. For a few minutes the light in it’s head was a solid red, and it looked like it was about to cry. It looked...like a real person. It stared after Elijah as he went from the bathroom to the bedroom. Gavin elected to ignore the sudden newfound, or maybe newly unlocked, human mannerisms to go in the bathroom himself. He needed to check and make sure he didn’t pop any of his stitches. He could feel the robot watch him as he went.

  
  


“Okay, fine. Fine! What happens if I indulge you?” Gavin crossed his arms and faced the robot. “What happens if I let you take a look at my stitches?”

“I can tell you if you need them replaced. I can replace them myself if you should so need it.” The robot looked down at the ground. It half mumbled some of it’s sentences. “May I take a look? I need an objective, and your brother has forbade me from enacting any of my caretaker protocols on him. If I don’t--”

“If you don’t mother one of us your head is gonna explode or whatever, I get it. C’mon, tin can.”

“Thank you.”

  
  


The robot actually looked...relieved. It looked like a real human being when it smiled and followed Gavin into the bathroom. He sat down on the rim of the tub when asked to, and let the robot examine his face. It’s light flickered yellow a few times before staying on that colour. Gavin honestly didn’t know what it meant, nor did he entirely care. As long as it wasn’t something like the red ring of death, he was content. As long as the robot didn’t try to strangle him, he was perfectly fine. So when it instead grabbed a tube of vaseline from the medicine cabinet, he was a little confused. The robot started undressing and treating the wounds without being prompted to. He had only ever seen it do things of it’s own accord when it directly correlated with whatever it was told to do. Needless to say, Gavin watched it. As it did things that weren’t directly involved with only making sure the stitches didn’t pop. As the robot actually put the vaseline on the wounds and then redressed them with some of the gauze the doctor from the ER had given him. 

Whatever the hell was going on wasn’t something that was supposed to happen. Or maybe it was, and Gavin just didn’t know that. Maybe there were unlockable reactions and traits for it. Maybe it was like skill trees in video games. If the robot was exposed to certain social situations, then it would learn from them the way a human would. Almost at least. It was programmed to reflect what was thrown at it, though. So that didn’t explain why the damn thing looked like it was genuinely upset and like it was about to cry when it didn’t get it’s way. That was a human reaction. That was emotion. But it wasn’t real, it couldn’t be real. That was a machine. It just looked like a girl. It was a machine. Gavin kept internally repeating that statement to himself as he stumbled into his and Elijah’s room to go to sleep. He didn’t thank the robot because why would he? It was a robot. He just got undressed as much as he dared, and flopped down on his bed as gently as he could. 

The robot was still a robot. No matter how human it looked. 

  
  
  
  



	21. Chapter 21

_ December 14th 2019 7:10 AM _

  
  


The day began in a less than stellar way for Gavin that morning. Not only did Ross send him home when he tried to go into work, but the robot was almost waiting for him. It was sitting on the couch in the living room watching some cartoon from the 90’s. It turned, smiled an almost hollow smile at him, and then said it was going to change the bandages. That apparently Elijah had instructed it to, and it planned on following through with the order. Gavin sighed as he let the robot do it’s own thing. It wasn’t like he really cared about what it was telling him, anyway. However, when it started talking about how stressed Elijah had been he listened in more. Sure he and Elijah weren’t getting along in recent months. But that was still his big brother, the man who had always been his best friend. Gavin didn’t feel bad for saying what he did. He felt like he probably never would. Elijah needed to hear those things, it needed to be brought to his attention. Gavin rubbed his forehead in response to the hints of a migraine and groaned softly. 

  
  


“Do you want to see what the wounds look like?” The robot blinked and then produced a smile. It looked like his mother’s. “Let me get Miss Caroline’s mirror for you.”

“Don’t.” Gavin grabbed the thing’s wrist and squeezed. It looked back with a raised brow and then stilled. “I’ll just look in the mirror.”

“You realise you can’t actually hurt me, don’t you? Elijah made me very resilient.”

“You're made of plastic, right?” Gavin stood up, stretching his arms above his head and then walked over to the mirror. “Just need a hot enough flame, and you’ll burn, Barbie.”

  
  


It felt like his mouth dried up and his stomach dropped when Gavin saw himself. He was pretty beat up, actually. The bottle hit him over the nose, which was where the worst of the bruising and wounds were. The wound streaked across the bridge of his nose, and went almost entirely across his left cheek. It was red and irritated, almost a little puffy in some places. Though that was the worst of it, really. There was a small cut in his left eyebrow, just around the arch. It was fairly minor and clean. Then there was the one that had hurt the most, the one in his upper lip. Well, it wasn’t exactly his upper lip. It was to the right of his cupid’s bow. Small and vertical, though it pulled in an uncomfortable way whenever Gavin opened his mouth. Which he did a few times to experiment and see just how much he could actually feel in his face. Just enough to know that he really shouldn’t have been opening and closing his mouth too much. 

Then there were the bruises. Dark and painful. Or he guessed they were painful at least, it wasn’t like Gavin was going to be poking at his face more than he absolutely had to. Honestly, some places were so dark that they almost looked black. Which must have been a normal thing for this sort of injury, otherwise the doctor in the ER would have said something about it. Gavin, ever the increasingly paranoid bastard that he was, cleared his throat as he raised a few fingers to the still new bruise around his eye. It wasn’t enough that he got into an actual fight at school earlier that day. He just had to go walk around the city and decide to play hero. For a sickening second, Gavin realised his mother would have been very upset with him. She would have been so proud of him for jumping in and helping that person out of the dangerous situation they were in. Though she would have grounded him for probably a month and been so horribly angry with him for putting himself in that danger instead. So with a huff, he pressed his fingers against the bruise. 

It didn’t hurt as much as he expected it to. Which he found to be both relieving and disappointing. He was glad he wasn’t going to be able to feel just how fucked up his face was, though a little upset that he couldn’t feel that pain. He wasn’t exactly sure why it upset him. It just did. After some poking and prodding at his own face, carefully avoiding the actual wounds, the robot had the gall to tell him to stop. It looked normal again. There was no upset expression, there was no red light in it’s head, there was no sense of humanity. It smiled at him, that same blank reflection of his mother’s, and told him that he needed to go to bed if he wanted to get a head start of recuperating. For whatever god forsaken reason he told it no. Gavin just sighed and gave the gauze to the damn robot and sat back down on the rim of the tub. It wasn’t like he could keep all of his wounds exposed like that while he slept. Who knew how he would pop the stitches. The robot gave him a careful smile and washed it’s hands before opening the gauze packet. 

It was almost pleasant letting someone touch him. Gavin closed his eyes and let her work, getting reminded of how gently his mother used to put band-aids on his knees and warn him to be more careful. A small smile betrayed his face and Gavin coughed into his fist to try and keep it at bay. This thing wasn’t human. It wasn’t a real person. For no reason other than disappointment, Gavin felt his eyes sting and forced himself to stay calm. No, no he wasn’t going to cry in front of the robot. He wasn’t going to cry because of the robot. He wasn’t going to cry. Period. The robot continued it’s task and didn’t say anything about it. Which was pretty good, all things considered. Gavin sat on the rim of the tub and listened as the root started humming to itself. Elijah had a good ear for music, despite sounding like a dying animal when he tried to sing. Gavin almost smiled at the thought.

  
  


“Can I ask you a personal question, Gavin?” 

“I’m just tired enough to let it slide.”

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“You’re not a real person,” Gavin opened his eyes and rolled his shoulders to ease some of the tension in them. “But you walk around like you are. You and Eli think you’re gonna be a body for my mom, but you’re not. Technology isn’t advanced enough for that shit to happen yet.”

“Technology wasn’t advanced enough to create a functioning android until your brother made me.” The robot put a hand over it’s chest and followed Gavin out of the room. He had to give it kudos for following it’s programming. At least it was functional. “So who’s to say he can’t do that, too?”

“Me! I’m to say he can’t do it!” Gavin spun around, grabbing the thing by it’s shoulders and gently shaking it. “ _ I _ don’t even want him to do this! He’s just-- Elijah’s just  _ doing _ it!”

  
  


There it was. His main issue with the fact that his brother was so far off the deep end. Gavin had accepted everything going on, and he was angry about it. Sure he was upset and turning into a bit of a wild child. But he at least admitted to himself that things were ending; that pretty soon, he wouldn’t have his mother around anymore. It was a little bit of a terrifying thought. He could entirely understand why Elijah would rather crawl into the familiarity that was science, hope and create. Because it was comfortable. It was something that he knew inside and out, something that he always would understand in such a way. So it was only natural for Elijah to react in such a way. But with how easy it was for him to lose himself, how much he leaned into the fantasy of prolonged life, it was concerning. Gavin at least accepted it. He knew that this was it. 

A terrified little part of his mind asked him if it really was. If this really was the end for his mother. Gavin tried his hardest to shove the voice out of his head, to focus on the fact that Elijah was just a human boy. They weren’t even considered adults yet. Though there he was, trying to play god and keep his family intact. Didn’t he know that no one lived forever? Didn’t he realise that she would die someday anyway? Gavin was angry, sure, but he accepted the reality. Elijah didn’t seem to understand that fact. He was so caught up in his own issues, the fact that his own biological mother never even said goodbye to him, that he was lost. Elijah was lost. Both emotionally, and to Gavin. He wasn’t coming back from the state he had put himself in. It would take some sort of miracle to pull that off, and Gavin didn’t know if he had that sort of energy in him. There was no doubt that he loved his brother. There was no doubt that he hated him. There is no doubt that Gavin was just as lost as Elijah and just wanted someone to be able to talk to. Just have someone who understood what he was going through and was able to tell him everything would be alright, and to make him believe it. 

Because it felt like the world was falling apart right now. Gavin had only ever known a life with his mother in it. He never even thought about what it would be like without her, he almost thought she’d stay alive out of sheer force of will. The world was scary and new. Neither of the brothers were prepared to go out into it yet, they didn’t understand how it worked. They were still just kids. Fumbling and trying to find their way through the darkness and muddled view of what once was their reality. They knew a life with a woman they called their mother, who loved them both accordingly, and they loved her back. It was scary. It was infuriating. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair, she shouldn’t have to die. She was supposed to teach them all sorts of things. Like how to change a tire, or how to do their taxes, or how to properly take someone out on a date. She wasn’t supposed to indirectly teach them how to, say, start up their own company. Or how to take on adult responsibilities like bills and insurance. She wasn’t supposed to teach them those things. She was supposed to do things differently. It was supposed to be different. 

Gavin was supposed to see her at his graduation, smile at her from the stage and then get embarrassed because she’d kiss him on the cheek in front of his friends. She was supposed to be there at the grand opening of Elijah’s company and get all loud and proud in an attempt to get him embarrassed, too. They were supposed to bring significant others home to meet her, to gauge if the person would really be worth their time. Things were supposed to be different. It wasn’t meant to be hospital bills and late nights at the garage. It wasn’t meant to be Elijah being stressed beyond belief and making himself promises based off of fantasies. It wasn’t meant to be something that tore the brothers apart. Their family was crumbling. That fact made it feel like Gavin’s heart stopped. 

Then everything felt too close. The world went fuzzy and Gavin felt so much  _ pressure _ in his chest. The robot sounded like it was in a tunnel, shouting at him from the other side. There was a muffled thud, and more thudding after it. The world was gone. Everything was too in focus. It was too loud. He couldn’t hear anything at all. It was so damn cold. It felt like he was on fire. Gavin gripped at his shirt and pulled it up over his head, maybe if he took off the constricting clothing it would help. He could properly breathe instead of gasping for air. It did help a little bit. It didn’t. But it  _ did, _ if he told himself that it helped enough, then maybe he would start to believe it. Maybe he could trick his brain into feeling something different. But it was all just  _ too much,  _ and Gavin felt like he might just break if someone touched him. He wasn’t sure if it was physically or emotionally. He just knew that he’d... _ break. _

  
  


“Gavin, Gavin, Gavin--” Elijah’s voice was soft as it broke through his haze. Gavin didn’t even realise that Elijah was now kneeling in front of him, hands on his face. “It’s okay, it’s okay - hey, look at me - it’s okay. You’re okay.”

“Why aren’t you?!” Gavin didn’t realise he had been crying. The tears felt hot against his cheeks. “What happened to you and science and logic and all that bullshit?!”

“I’m using it to help Mom!”

“You’re using it to destroy our fucking family!”

  
  


Gavin curled in on himself, hand grabbing at the fabric of his brother’s shirt and pulling on it. He screamed out his frustrations. Not exactly in words, but more of the anguished cries of a boy whose life was being ripped from him. Because that was what it felt like. His mother was the reason he was keeping himself going lately. Though she was also the reason he was in such an emotional state to begin with. Gavin shook his head as he cried, as he grabbed at his brother and pulled himself close, as the world quieted around him and got replaced with incomprehensible white noise. There was no more living room. No more robot. No more reality. Just the brothers holding each other in a void filled with way too much emotion for Gavin to handle. He hated his brother for what he was doing. He loved him because they were family. Because he didn’t actually have anyone else if everything were to go to shit, and he knew that, by the end of the day, Elijah would still do anything to make sure the two of them stayed together. Gavin just hoped and prayed that Elijah would be coherent and grounded in reality enough to think of that as a logical action. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This](https://www.facebook.com/GavinReedDBH/posts/484630555335966?comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22O%22%7D) is actually a really good post that details Gavin's scars!! Personally, I like that it's high res, and that there's one without highighting of the scars and one with it.


	22. Chapter 22

_ December 23rd 2019 12:14 PM _

  
  


Nothing was normal anymore. Gavin had no sense of normalcy in his life. Carl was supposed to become his and Elijah’s legal guardian because of the fact that their mother was fucking dying. Hank looked at Gavin with some emotion that he couldn’t identify and he didn’t want to. Chris was constantly messaging him and asking if he was okay, asking if he wanted to go bowling or just hang out and play video games. Hell, Ross even told Gavin to take some time off and spend some time with his mother. It would have been incredibly considerate if Ross didn’t know what was going on with the family. If he had no idea that Gavin’s mother was in the hospital, that the brothers were tentative housemates, that Gavin’s whole life felt like it was falling apart. He was very quickly losing himself. He was scared of it. 

  
  


“Gavin?”

“Yeah, Ma?”

“Come closer, let me get a better look at your face.” Gavin’s mother gave him a soft smile and beckoned him closer. He sat on the edge of the bed and leaned forward, her hands were cold when they touched his face. “These are gonna scar. The one on your nose is gonna be pretty bad.”

“Pretty bad _ ass, _ you mean.”

“Oh, of course, sweetheart.”

  
  


Gavin grinned at his mother and then spoke to her about Elijah’s progress with his company. She wasn’t all that thrilled about him going into such a field so early in his life, especially considering both of his biological parents were very successful business people. Though she was proud of him regardless. Either way, he was still her son and there was no doubt that she would be supporting him if she could. The comment made Gavin uncomfortable, he smiled and changed the subject to the garage. There was no way his mother didn’t notice, he had developed a nervous tic. Gently rubbing at the wound on his nose with his right hand and looking away to the side. He knew that he had done it enough for his mother to notice the action, and yet she didn’t say anything. They just talked about the garage and how Ross absolutely refused to let Gavin work until his face was completely healed. The garage was a pretty dirty place considering all of the fluids that were used. Gavin laughed about it, and found himself enjoying the action. Even if he was laughing while his mother was practically on her deathbed. 

But it was comfortable still. It, somehow, was comfortable in that stale hospital room with the tacky curtains. Every hospital room looked the same to Gavin, and his mother agreed with the sentiment. Considering that all of the rooms were made to be at least somewhat identical. They cracked jokes with one another about how confusing the halls were when someone first walked into the building, but it became second nature once it was a routine to go. Gavin looked down at the floor with a forced smile and rubbed at the bridge of his nose to try and escape the inevitable empty look in his mother’s eyes. They only had so much time left with one another, and there Gavin was avoiding looking his mother in the eye. Though, in his defense, it seemed she didn’t exactly want to look at him either. Whether it was because of the wounds and fading bruises, or because of the fact she knew she wasn’t much longer for their world, he didn’t know. 

Though what Gavin knew was that both of them were uncomfortable in their current positions. His mother was on her deathbed with only one of her sons attempting to make time to see her. Gavin was living with someone who might as well have been a stranger at times. Not to mention the other people in their lives, the people who had known his mother for a long time and loved her. Chris called her his aunt, for fuck’s sake. Carl had become such good friends with her over time. Hank knew her by name whenever he came to drop Gavin off at home, they even got together on the days they both had off sometimes. There wasn’t a single important person in Gavin’s life that she hadn’t affected in some way. There was always someone and some way that she had come into their lives as well. He actually thought that it was embarrassing when he was younger. Now, he’d give anything to go back and have that embarrassment over the flurry of uncomfortable realities and feelings he had within him. To be able to go back, and appreciate that time more. 

On one morbid hand; at least they knew it was coming and could prepare for it. On the other; it was almost worse, being able to watch her slowly wither away into a ghost of who she used to be. But Gavin was going to do better, he was going to make more time for her. He was going to spend less time at the garage, and he was going to sit with her whenever he could. He’d bring the romance novels that she’d already read back home, then get her some new ones so he could read them to her while he visited. It wasn’t like he hadn’t hinted at liking the genre before. Much to his mother’s amusement, actually, she thought it was hilarious that her son who worked in a mechanic’s garage liked romance novels. Gavin liked to think a part of her was proud of him for looking into things and discovering he liked them. Another part thought that she was too out of it to completely care sometimes. It wasn’t like it was all the time, though. She had her good days and bad days just like anybody else did. But her bad days weren’t just hers anymore. 

The bad days were Gavin’s, the nurses, the doctors. Her bad days reflected on those around her. Every time Gavin came to visit, he could immediately tell if it was a bad day. The nurse up at the receptionist’s desk wouldn’t wave. Sometimes he would shake his head with a frown. If the nurse didn’t give it away, the way the staff walked around her doorway was enough. There were days where Gavin walked in and felt like he was looking at a living corpse. There were days where Gavin walked in and he immediately ahd to turn on his heel and stay in the hall for a minute to gather himself enough to actually go inside. There were days where Gavin walked in, and he thought that she had died in that bed, and no one told him. Those were the worst. Walking in and seeing her sleeping, her heartbeat weak and quiet on the monitors. Head tilted to the side with her mouth slightly open because it was so hard for her to breathe. She was sickly, pale and thin; and every time Gavin had a minute to actually  _ look _ at her, he found himself crying at the sight in front of him. 

But today was a good day. Today she was awake and aware of her surroundings, she was present and feeling better. She was smiling and laughing with Gavin as they spoke. Today was a good day. It was gentle - as much as it could be considering the circumstances - and carefree in the room. Even when she started asking about if Gavin had started seeing anybody, mostly because she wanted to know just how many people he was letting in. His mother didn’t say that. But she also didn’t have to, it was left unspoken and yet heard loud and clear. Gavin, rather begrudgingly, admitted that he wasn’t seeing anyone in such a way and wasn’t exactly interested in that at the moment. He gave a nervous laugh and rubbed his nose again at the end of it, trying to make a joke and realising it fell flat of what it was supposed to be. So much for playing it cool. Sure, every kid got embarrassed when their parents asked if they were dating someone. But for Gavin it was different. His mother was trying to figure out if he had someone else for support. He didn’t. That upset her in a way, and he knew that. Besides, it wasn’t like anyone wanted to date the kid whose mom was dying in the hospital. 

  
  


“You know, if there’s anything you want to tell me, now is the time.” His mother looked out the window as she set a hand down on top of his. “Anything you might...feel like you need to get off your chest.”

“Ma, I don’t--” Gavin stopped for a second and weighed his options. He could tell his mother that the robot still thought her mind was going inside of it. He could tell her that he was a depressed kid who just wanted to curl up under his blankets and cry. “I don’t have anything to say. At least not right now.”

  
  


It looked like she didn’t believe him. Hell, Gavin didn’t believe himself when he said it. A silence followed his lie, not exactly tense but certainly not comfortable either. It was awkward. Which, he had to admit, was so much worse considering his mother was on the other end of the silence. At least if it was Elijah he could convince himself he was angry and move on. If it was the robot he could just ignore it and eventually the thing would walk away. But this was his  _ mother, _ the only one he’d ever had and the only one he’d ever want. He never met his biological father, his and Elijah’s dad. Frankly, he didn’t see a point in it. The guy paid child support, for both his kids, and that was that. He wasn’t an asshole in the very least. He just...didn’t seem to care. How someone like that could ever end up getting together with his mom was a mystery to Gavin. But hey, otherwise he and Elijah wouldn’t exist as they did and things would be way worse. At least, Gavin liked to think they would be worse. He liked to think the world was a better place with him in it, trying to do his part to do good and help others. 

  
  


“I’ve got one thing to ask you though.” Gavin adjusted how he sat and raised a brow. “Why haven’t you ever talked about our dad? Is he really that bad of a guy?”

“No, he’s not, actually.” His mother smiled out at the rain that began to steadily patter against the window before turning the wistful little thing to him. “He actually loves Elijah more than anything and left him with us so he would be properly taken care of and loved. He hated that he didn’t have enough time for him.”

“What about me?”

“Anatoli...didn’t know you existed for a few years. I didn’t want him to.” His mother sighed and nervously smoothed out a few wrinkles in Gavin’s shirt. “But he always wanted to meet you. I was just too bitter to let him get anywhere near you.”

“Does he... _ know _ ? Y’know,” Gavin vaguely gestured at his mother. “About all of... _ this _ ?”

“He doesn’t. If he did, he’d try to take custody of you and Elijah.” His mother scowled and huffed annoyedly. It was actually kind of funny how much she looked like a pissed off teenager. “I want you both to stay right where you are. You’re stable here in the city, and if that gets taken away from you when you’re vulnerable… I don’t like what could happen to your brother, Gavin.”

“Yeah,” Gavin whispered his agreement and closed his eyes. “Me neither.”

  
  


After that very eye-opening conversation, one of the nurses actually came in to say that Gavin had to go. It was time for some sort of treatment that his mother said she didn’t want him to be a part of. Gavin knew the drill, he was told the tidbit of information before. At least five other times. He leaned over after standing up, pressing a kiss to the side of her head and lingering there for just a second. She used to do the same thing to him when he was home sick from school. Sometimes it  _ was _ nice to be lost in playing pretend, that she was just home sick from work and not dying in the hospital. He had to hand it to Elijah, the escapist fantasies were a way to feel like he had some semblance of control. Gavin waved at his mother as they wheeled her down the halls away from him. The pleasant smile on his face faded as soon as they went around a corner, and he shoved his fists in his jacket pockets. 

Life was hard. It was harder for certain other people, and easier for other ones. He liked to think that his life was somewhere in the middle. It was tough, sure, but he still had a pretty good handle on the situation and the world around him. He whistled to himself as he walked to the elevator to leave the building, and all the way to his car. He took a final glance at the floor where he thought his mother was staying and then got into the driver’s seat. One of Elijah’s CDs was put in the center console, and the first notes of  _ Underground _ started playing. Not exactly Gavin’s favourite from the album. But he still liked it regardless. Maybe because the CD was Elijah’s and the music made him remember a time where they were comfortable and happy. Maybe because it was Elijah’s and he missed the way he and his brother used to get along. Maybe because he was the one to buy it for his brother, and they listened to it together for the first time. 

Gavin sighed. Life was hard. 

  
  
  
  



	23. Chapter 23

_ February 1st 2020 10:19 AM _

  
  


Time passed much too quickly for Gavin’s comfort these days. Day in and day out he was like a cable being twisted up, continually getting more and more tense, more taut until one day he would just snap and break. Pieces of him everywhere aa he unravelled and became a frayed mess. A before photo of the person he used to be; a wide eyed kid who was so convinced the world was full of wonder and excitement. An after photo that showed him as he was now; haggard, seemingly permanent bags under his eyes, scars littering his face because he decided to play at being the hero. By now he constantly was clutching some sort of caffeinated beverage in his hands. Most commonly it was coffee, actually. Black, despite absolutely hating the taste and just how bitter it was. Though some part of Gavin thought it was funny. A bitter drink for a bitter man. Besides, it was cold, and coffee warmed him up pretty fast. As much as the taste made him want to spit out the drink, it gave him energy and kept him warm in the mornings. 

Mornings like the one he was currently walking through the park during. Eventually, Gavin settled down on a bench and opted to pop the top off of his coffee, letting the steam rise up into his face and warm up his cheeks and nose a little bit. It was pretty out today. As pretty as it could be for Detroit, really. The city was ugly, there was always something dark and twisted happening outside of where people looked. Or maybe they were content to live in their little bubbles of ignorance and chose not to look. Gavin would give anything to be one of those people, to be able to go about his day thinking that everything was just fine and nothing could go wrong. Because those people were living a damn fine life. Smiling as they walked down the concrete paths arm in arm, laughing and having a grand time among the living. Not knowing who was dying and who was already dead. They had their bubbles. Gavin’s bubble popped a long time ago and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into someone else’s with them. 

The only person he’d trust like that had a bubble. A bubble that was already otherwise occupied by himself and a robot. Gavin bitterly drank his bitter drink for a bitter man and then went walking again. There was no point in wallowing in some form of self-pity. Or self-hatred, as he was quickly coming to realise. Nothing made sense, he couldn’t blame anyone, so he pinned the blame on himself. It wasn’t healthy, he knew that. But there had to be some sort of outlet for him. Elijah had that stupid fucking robot. As much as Gavin hated the thing and everything it meant in it’s existence, as much as he hated it for enabling and encouraging his brother’s fantasy, he knew that the thing brought some sense of control to Elijah. That was something both of them needed at the moment. Something that they could control the fate of, and were able to understand inside and out. Gavin didn’t have that. He had the garage, but he wasn’t allowed back until his face fully healed. Which meant no outlet for at least another week. 

With a sigh, he tossed his empty coffee cup into the nearest bin and continued on with his walk. The slush and the snow was trampled by countless other people’s feet. The trees still sparkled in the sunlight with relatively untouched snowy branches. People pulled hats and scarves closer and tighter as they walked, puffs of breath in front of their faces as they tried to stay warm in the cold Michigan weather. Spring was coming soon. March marked when spring would start, and the city would warm up significantly. People would be wearing windbreakers and sweaters instead of heavy coats and vests. Gavin would be wearing something black, probably. He’d be wearing a white shirt with a black tie, uncomfortable and chilly in the early spring temperatures. There was probably some sort of black jacket he had tucked away somewhere in his closet. A vest or something in the very least, because Gavin got cold pretty easily. Maybe it was from the stress, maybe it was because he was starting to spend more time out in the cold because the garage doors were always open. A part of Gavin hoped that it wouldn’t be cold. A part of him hoped it would. A dead world for a funeral sounded poetic as hell and pretty damn appropriate. 

\---

  
  


_ February 16th 2020 3:16 PM _

  
  


As far as Gavin knew, Elijah hadn’t been back to visit their mother. Which was rather disappointing. But honestly, at this point, Gavin was surprised by it at all. But at least now he could blow off some steam by going into the garage and doing some work on people’s cars. It was a great outlet for a while. Being able to go in and fall into a familiar routine that would need to be specifically tailored to wherever problem Gavin had to try and fix. He could get lost in that person’s car. Look around and try to understand exactly what went wrong and where, and how to fix it. It was something that required his attention, there was no room for anything else in his head during it. The repetitive actions of popping the hood, of checking the engine, looking at every nook and cranny to make sure he knew what he would be getting into. It was almost therapeutic. It was his own way of dealing with everything going on. 

Though at the moment, there was a particularly rough customer who had come in. An older woman who quite obviously didn’t know jack shit about cars and how to take care of them. Gavin put on his customer service smile and calmly explained everything to her, even going so far as to show her how to do some basic upkeep. Like changing the oil and making sure the belt was lubricated enough to not make that god awful shrieking noise. Despite his best efforts, she seemed hellbent on giving him a hard time. At one point, Ross even got involved and told her she needed to back off. It wasn’t his employee’s fault if she didn’t take care of her car. But it was his job to fix it and make sure it ran the way she wanted it to. Eventually she huffed and puffed, but ended up paying for the expenses. There were customers to be adored and appreciated, like Carl whenever he came in. Though there were also customers to be hated and tolerated at the most. Honestly, Gavin and Ross didn’t care if those customers left. They had their loyal customers who came in because they were happy with their service. If the bad ones wanted to go spread their shitty attitudes, then they could. That was the customer’s problem. 

  
  


“Fuck, Gavin, I’m sorry.” Ross put his sweatshirt back on and then motioned for Gavin to follow him into the office. There was a pot of coffee brewing, and Ross got him a mug of it. “I always hate when those kinds of people come in.”

“You and me both, man.” He wrapped his hands around the mug and took a sip. French vanilla blend. Not bad, Gavin actually liked the flavour. “Can’t help but feel for the poor bastards she’s gonna go to instead, though.”

“Nothin’ we can do about it at this point.” 

“No, nothin’ we can do.”

  
  


Eventually, three hours came and went, and it was time to close up the garage. The two closed up the garage, cleaning as they went, and cracked stupid jokes during it. Things went back to normal when Gavin came back to work. Though, the funniest thing was when repeat customers would come in and gape at his face. The scars were still pretty fresh, newly healed. Every one of them was visible without having to be told where they were. Gavin’s favourite was the one of his nose. His customers would relax after that usually, hearing he had a favourite one out of the bunch. After all, most people found facial scars to be pretty terrifying. They thought of gangs and attacks. They didn’t think of split second decisions and heroism. Gavin didn’t blame them, it was stupidity rather than courage that spurred him forward that night. Ross tried to get him to talk to their repeat customers about it on multiple occasions. How he was moving before he could even understand what he was doing. Gavin would just shake his head with another customer service smile, and tell the customer that Ross liked to think of him as some sort of masked vigilante who ran around solving other people’s problems for them. He got that enough in the garage. 

Gavin climbed into his car and sat in the cold for a few minutes. It provided a form of clarity. The jolt of how cold it was settled into his bones and made him more aware of his surroundings, which made him know what was going on around him more. That was always good for being on the road. To know what his surroundings were and how to avoid anything if need be. But this time, as he started his car and lowered the heat as much as he could without freezing himself, it made him more aware of just how different he’d become. For one, he was always cold and yet he found himself liking it. Then there was how he and Elijah had grown apart, and he somehow had the capability of actually beginning to hate his brother. Not to mention the fact that he actually spoke to the fucking robot ocassionally. But that was usually to tell it to get out of the way, or to stop doing whatever it was that was pissing him off. As sick and twisted as it was, there was a sort of satisfaction that sat in his chest when it listened to him. When it skirted round him and avoided making any form of contact. It knew it’s place. It knew it wasn’t welcome in his home. That was good for him, that meant that one day he’d be able to get rid of it entirely and never have to worry about it bothering him again. Once Elijah moved out, Gavin would be golden. 

It was a weird thought even though it was inevitable. Elijah was going to move out some day. Most of Gavin wanted it to be some time soon, he couldn’t stand that robot and how it tried to be something it could never even hope to be. It couldn't hope to begin with. It was just scrap metal and plastic that was too shitty to be properly recycled that got haphazardly put together. It was a product of Elijah’s desperation and fear. It wasn’t a real person, no matter how much it looked like one. No matter how exact the smile was to his mother’s, or how the thing would laugh and it sounded real because of how it would snort sometimes, or even how it would sing while cleaning up. Gavin couldn’t wait for Elijah to move out and take that stupid fucking hunk of scrap with him. But if there was a way that Elijah could stay and the robot was gone, that would be perfect. Gavin could help his brother, he could try and make sure that Elijah healed over time. It would be incredibly hard and there would be times where they both would want to give up. But when it got down to it, Gavin loved his brother and was afraid of losing him. Or maybe he was afraid of Elijah losing  _ him. _

As he pulled into the driveway and shut the car off, Gavin saw a shadow in the window. Then he saw something get strung up and light up a soft yellow. Fairy lights. One of them put up goddamn fairy lights, and for whatever god forsaken reason they thought it was okay. Though for reasons unknown to Gavin, he laughed. He thought it was the funniest thing he had ever seen. Fairy lights! Up in the front windows of his house! He wasn’t entirely opposed to them, he thought they were pretty enough. But they just weren’t...Gavin. He didn’t think he could pull them off in his house. Besides, he climbed out of the car and took a deep breath of the cold air, he could just take them down. It had to be the robot who put them up. It knew he didn’t like the thing trying to show it had a sense of self. It didn’t have one, so there was no way it could decorate like it pretended to. 

The house was warm when he stepped inside. Up on a chair in front of the other window was Elijah. Stringing up the fairy lights and smiling down at the robot when it handed him more to put up. That was okay, then. Gavin could handle his brother putting up fairy lights. The guy was having a constant crisis, it made sense that he felt the need to busy himself in decorating when he didn’t have anything else to do. Elijah stopped putting up the lights when he noticed Gavin watching him, and his smile fell just a little bit. Gavin shrugged off his coat, kicked off his shoes, and set his work bag down. Without looking back, he went toward the bathroom so he could shower before bed. Halfway there, he stopped. 

  
  


“Just make sure to get curtains that work with the yellow light, Eli.”

  
  


Gavin smirked to himself when he heard the little excited noise his brother made. The bathroom was recently cleaned, the drain was always a mess with Elijah’s hair after he showered. But it was immaculate when Gavin closed the bathroom door. With a sigh, he told himself that he could be nice still. The mirror had other plans, though. It showed someone Gavin didn’t exactly recognise anymore. A tired and bitter man. Someone who just wanted to get angry without remorse and let out all of the frustrations he held in his chest. Gavin turned on the shower and stripped down while waiting for the water to get hot. Maybe he could wash away the feeling. It never worked before, but maybe, just this once, it would. He didn’t like who he was anymore.

  
  
  



	24. Chapter 24

_February 18th 2020 9:31 AM_

  
  


It wasn’t even halfway through his second class, and Gavin had to make up some bullshit excuse to go to the bathroom in order to be able to answer his phone. The number up on his screen was one he hadn’t put in his contacts, yet knew exactly who was calling. It was that nurse at the receptionist’s desk on his mother’s floor of the hospital. Meaning that it was specifically one of the hospital phones that was calling him. Meaning that something was wrong. Something was very, _very_ wrong. Gavin all but sprinted to the bathroom and hid in one of the stalls to actually answer the call. His breath got caught in his throat and he felt like he was going to lose himself in the fucking dingy-ass boys bathroom in his school. Gavin took as deep a breath as his shuddering lungs would allow him to and hit the green button to pick up the call. Sure enough there was that nurse on the other end of the line. He started talking about how Gavin needed to get to the hospital, and that she went peacefully. She wasn’t in pain, she didn’t suffer in any way. She just...slipped away. 

There was an exceptional numbness that settled deep into Gavin’s bones as he called Carl. Fortunately the painter had picked up on the first ring and Gavin was able to explain the situation as fast as he could. It was the small mercies that he thanked the universe for as his voice shook upon breaking the inevitable news. His mother was dying. She died today. Carl said he would call the school, let them know he was being pulled out for the rest of the day, and he didn’t have to wait to go. All Carl needed to do was call and then everything was all clear. Gavin could race out of the building and go where he was needed. Where he and Elijah were needed. Gavin didn’t comment on the fact that Elijah was on the other side of the city today for a meeting about the stupid brain scanning technology. Regardless, he hung up the phone and went back to the classroom to gather his things and wait for his teacher to get a call saying he was dismissed. Fuck, if he had his own way? Gavin would have just walked out of the classroom and out the front doors without saying a goddamn word to anyone. But apparently he was already at “flight risk” and the school wanted to keep tabs on him. The teacher’s phone rang and she told him he was dismissed. It was time to go, then. 

His legs couldn’t move fast enough, his lungs couldn’t breathe deeply enough, his vision wouldn’t clear enough. It felt like a week before he got to the hospital, and yet he knew it only took fifteen minutes. Gavin didn’t understand how he was in the parking lot and running to the doors of the building. He didn’t understand how his legs were working, or how he was already going up flights of stairs. All he knew was that time was finally running out. Time was running out and Elijah was nowhere to be seen. Gavin’s breathing was wrong. His hands were wrong. His body was _wrong._ He should have been there faster, he should have made more time to spend with her. The door out of the stairwell was forced open, and Gavin ran. The nurse at the desk didn’t say anything. Or maybe he did and Gavin just didn’t hear it. There wasn’t much he could hear past the blood rushing through his ears. Or the incessant ringing and fuzz of the white noise. What he did hear though, was the sound of someone’s voice. 

Carl was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding his mother’s hand and smiling down at her. Tears spilled down his face as he simply looked down at her. Completely unmoving. Her eyes were closed. The heart rate monitor held a flat tone that droned on and on. Yet her head still fell to the side, and it almost seemed like she was expecting someone. Probably him. Probably Elijah. It hurt. It hurt like nothing else had ever hurt Gavin in his entire life. Not the first time he fell off of his bike, or any of the fights he got in at school, or having that bottle broken over his face. This was something entirely different. It was like he was being ripped apart from the inside. Looking at his mother, whose head was tilted toward the door even in death. Expecting people who wouldn’t be there when she needed them to be. Her face was vacant. It hurt. Gavin gripped the edge of his jacket, making sure the zipper was pressing into the palm of his hand painfully. It hurt, and it made everything around him more real. 

Gavin turned on his heel and ran back down the hallway. He pushed the door to the stairwell open and stumbled to the ground, dragging himself into the corner so he could almost hide in it. Nothing felt real. But he knew it had to be. He knew it had to be, the metal hurt against the palm of his hand, and it left indents from where it was pressed against his skin. A terrified sound made its way out of him. It clawed itself out of his throat and forced it way out into the world. Then the sounds wouldn’t stop. Gavin curled in on himself in that corner and he cried. For the first time in _months,_ Gavin cried. Then he was up on shaky legs and slowly making his way down the stairs to the ground floor. No one stopped him. The doctors and nurses who saw him gave him his space as he half-stumbled out of the hospital. It wasn’t like he could have been there, he was at school. But it also wasn’t like he could have just...sat around and watched her die. It was morbid and wrong. He loved his mother. He didn’t want his last memory to be what he had just seen, and he knew for a goddamn fact that she wouldn’t have wanted it to be either. 

Somehow Gavin found himself in his car, driving down suburban streets while crying uncontrollably as he tried to make his way home. He didn’t remember getting in his car and starting it. He didn’t remember how he got most of the way home already. In fact, he was already just a few blocks away from the cottage. There was some taxi in front of him that absolutely looked like whoever was driving it didn’t understand where they were going. That was okay. That was great actually, because it forced him to slow down and focus on the road. To focus on the fact that someone was in front of him as he was having his mental breakdown. Which he knew fully well that he shouldn’t have been driving during. Who knew how many accidents he could have caused or been a part of. Who knew if he could have killed someone, or if he would have somehow gotten himself killed. He hadn’t even graduated high school yet. How could a life end before it even really began? Though what was the point when everyone died anyway, there was no living forever. 

The taxi pulled up to the curb right in front of the house, and Gavin watched Elijah step out of it stiffly. He didn’t even stop to turn to the robot when it climbed out, he just walked right up to the front door and left it open as he went inside. Elijah got the call. Either that or the brain tech wasn’t ready yet and he was upset about it. Because that was all he fuckign cared about. Trying to move their mother's mind from her real body, into a cheap imitation of her image. Gavin parked in the driveway and slammed his door closed as soon as he was out of the car. There were still obvious tears on his face, and more that fell from his eyes. He didn’t care enough to wipe them away. What Gavin cared about the most in that moment was keeping an eye on his brother. No matter how up in arms they were with one another, he was always going to be there for him. Because he loved his brother. No matter how much they might have told themselves they hated each other. 

The robot caught him around the waist and lifted him up in the air enough that he was kicking to get out of it’s grip. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair! He needed to make sure his brother was okay, not some giant fucking barbie doll! Gavin did the only thing he could think of, knowing fully well that he’d regret it later. He elbowed the thing as hard as he could. He must have hit some important and easily damaged part, because the robot immediately let go and dropped to the ground. That didn’t matter. Elijah mattered. He was real, and he was hurt. Whether it was because of that tech or not. Besides, Gavin was going to allow himself to be a little selfish. He was going to allow himself to run to his older brother who always knew what to do. Who always had a level head and looked at things logically. Elijah was good at that. Being calm and taking the right steps to solve a problem in the most efficient way that would help other people. 

There in the doorway of a room that hadn’t been touched in half a year, was Elijah. Standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. Then he pushed off of it. Slowly, almost like he had to convince himself to. Then he took a few careful steps into the room. Gavin watched him from his spot in the middle of the room. He watched as his older brother walked around the room that they used to run into when they were kids during the holidays. Or to jump up on the bed and wake up their mother when she had something particularly eventful planned for the day. The most memorable was Pirate’s Cove. Gavin could remember waking up to Elijah jumping on him and then dragging him out of bed to go wake up their mother. But now the sound of their laughter had long since faded, and existed only as a memory the walls of their childhood home would know. Walls that Elijah brushed his fingertips against as he walked around the outside of it, until he had gotten to the wall that faced the doorway. His eyes landed on Gavin's. Both pairs bloodshot and hurt. Elijah beckoned for him to come closer. To come into the room. 

It was hard to move. Especially forward through that doorway and into the room that once belonged to someone Gavin had never lived his life without. He stood in the middle of the room, too scared to actually move any further inside. To follow Elijah and be brave just as he was. Brave as he was to suddenly sit on the edge of the bed and take off his shoes and then shed his coat, which he abandoned on the floor next to the bed. Elijah’s face was hard to read. It was mostly neutral, but also so very anguished and desolate. He lowered himself onto his side on the bed facing Gavin, putting an arm out with his palm up. An invitation. One that Gavin didn’t know if he was strong enough to accept in his current state. Though some force made him take a step forward, he stumbled over his own feet, but he took that step. Elijah smiled at him. Not in a mean way to make fun of him for not being able to walk correctly, but in a way that said he was proud almost. 

Gavin collapsed on the bed and kicked off his shoes. He didn't bother with his jacket. He just adjusted himself so that he was able to take his place next to his brother. Neither of them spoke. Neither of them actually looked at each other. Gavin closed his eyes and buried his face in the funky patterned duvet his mother loved so much, he didn’t even flinch when he felt a hand on his shoulder that pulled him close. His hands frantically grabbed for his brother’s shirt as he pulled himself closer. Pressed his forehead against his brother’s chest and cried. Elijah didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t seem to mind any of it at all. He just seemed so...numb. Gavin was shaking and crying, being held by his older brother. Yet Elijah was as still as a stone as he laid there in their mother’s bed. Comforted by the smell that always accompanied her, the fabrics that she always loved, the little knick-knacks she had collected over the years. Elijah was hollow inside. It wasn’t like he was going to say it, but Gavin understood it. He was hollow, too. 

The difference between them was that Elijah’s hollowness had consumed him. 

Gavin’s made him feel so empty that he was looking for anything to fill the void it had created. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's easy to forget these boys are seventeen right now, isn't it?


	25. Chapter 25

_ February 29th 2020 5:50 PM _

  
  


Elijah didn’t seem to be coming to the funeral. Gavin stood in his white dress shirt and black tie, shivering almost violently in the cold and listening as everything unfolded around him. Realistically, Gavin knew the world wasn’t muffled. But every time he tried to focus on the official’s words, it felt like he was slowly being pulled out of reality. Thus he resigned to letting himself stand vacantly. Every now and again he would come back to reality long enough to notice one of the others looking at him. Though he would quickly look away any time they made eye-contact. It wasn’t important anymore. Nothing was really worth noting now that everything was over. The emotional fallout in the people around him were going to threaten to kill him. Gavin looked down at his shoes for the entire service, and never opened his mouth. People asked him to speak. Carl asked him to speak. Even if Elijah had asked him to, Gavin wouldn’t have said a word. 

Eventually the service came to an end. It took much too long for Gavin’s comfort, there was nothing more he wanted to do than run away. Out of the godforsaken cemetery, out of that part of town, out of the fucking city. Though he couldn’t. His mother always told him to see something through to the end, and so he did. Gavin stood in place for an hour after the service ended. He paid no mind to the various others in attendance who had asked him if he was alright. He ignored the looming clouds overhead that had started to blot out the sun. He didn’t move when footsteps crept up behind him and didn’t move from their spot. Well, he wasn’t going to move either. Not for a little while at least. Gavin knew it had been a little while, that he had been standing in that one spot for well over an hour at that point. Time didn’t feel real anymore and it likely wasn’t going to for the rest of his life. None of it really mattered anymore now that it was over anyway, though. What a waste of time. Gavin sighed and turned around to go home, only to be caught off-guard by who happened to be standing behind him. 

It was the fucking robot. 

There it was, standing with the fake expression on it’s face. Actually somewhat upset looking. It avoided looking into his eyes, it shuffled it’s feet against the ground, it kicked at a few stray pebbles. For a second, he got a sick feeling of satisfaction that it wouldn’t look at him. Because it had no right to. It was plastic and wires and blue goop. It wasn’t alive, it never would be. It was just a cheap imitation of a human being made by a frantic child trying to keep his mother alive. Now that their mother was dead, the thing had no purpose. There was no reason to keep it around anymore. Everything was done. Everything was over. It was time to go home. To go stand in the shower and let the hot water try to wash away everything that Gavin had been through in the past seven months. All he had to do was walk around the robot and get to his car. But some sort of want held him back, and forced him to grab the robot’s face and make it look him directly in the eye. It was cold. It stared up at him, a complex look on it’s face that only could have been programmed by hand. 

  
  


“You obey every order my brother and I give you,” Gavin sneered down at the life sized plastic toy. “Isn’t that right?”

“Of course, Gavin.” It smiled sweetly at him. All traces of whatever look it had was gone. “Your brother created me to take care of you both and love you like a mother should, in the happenstance that his situation might arise. He was very prepared.”

“So if I tell you to do something, you’ll do it?” Gavin let go of the robot and shoved his hands in his pockets. Neither of them moved. “If I told you to stand there and not move until I was done doing my thing, you’d do it?”

“If it’s something as harmless at that,” The robot rocked on the balls of it’s feet, tucking it’s hands behind it’s back. It looked so  _ human. _ “Then there’s no way that I wouldn’t be able to!”

  
  


Without missing a beat, Gavin took a step back, swinging his arm up and using as much force as he possibly could to drive his fist against the damn thing’s face. Gavin stood over it as it fell to the ground, a panting and shaking mess as he let himself succumb to the onslaught of negative thoughts. Most about his brother. Elijah hadn’t even come to the funeral, even though he knew when and where it was. As so terribly evident by the fact that he had apparently sent the robot as his replacement. Gavin kicked at it as it curled up on the ground, arms and legs curling in to try and protect itself from the sudden violence. Though was it really violence if it wasn’t a person he was kicking? Gavin huffed out a curse and bent down to grab the thing by it’s white sweater, now spotted with blue, and pulled it up to it’s feet. It swayed a little bit and righted itself without his help. 

With every punch that he landed on the machine, it only smiled a bit more. It asked if it could help him with anything. It said that his brother was going to be worried about his emotional state. It even grabbed his fist with a scowl and said that he needed to stop, lest he wanted to be punished. Gavin grabbed the robot by it’s sweater and threw it to the ground, making a point to step over it as he made his way back to his car. There was a faint whirring sound in the background as he walked. There was blue and red on the ground. Gavin checked his right hand, grimacing as he flexed it and saw just how damaged his knuckles were. Though that didn’t matter. He had some wipes in his car, it would be easy enough to clean up his hands and then wrap them in whatever wrap he could get at a pharmacy. Gavin smirked as he opened the driver’s side door and got in. The robot found it’s own way to the cemetery, it could find it’s own way back to the cottage. 

Though as he went to turn his key in the ignition, the terribly pitiful sight of the robot picking itself up off the ground spurred Gavin to get back out and go grab it. It wouldn’t be all that great to be accused of property damage to the new up and coming piece of technology that was going to change the world. With a sigh, Gavin got out of the car and awkwardly shuffled back over to the robot. True to it’s programming, it didn’t flinch when he came close to it. So much for appearing so human. If it were like any rational human being, it would have run. It would had cowered away from the crazy seventeen year old with facial scars that had just decided to beat the ever-loving daylights out of it. But it wasn’t human. It wasn’t even anywhere close to being human. The robot took Gavin’s had when he offered it and followed him back to the car. Gavin may have decided to take the thing home, but he also wasn’t about to let it sit in the front seat. God forbid the thing woke up and went rogue because of what he did. There was no fucking way he was letting the damn thing that close to him in such a small space. 

  
  


“You’re really not a bad guy, you know.” The robot climbed into the back seat and buckled itself in. Gavin slammed the door shut and got into the driver’s seat. Now was not the time. “You’re such a kind boy, Gavin. I know all about how wonderful you are--”

“You don’t know shit,” He hissed. “Everything you think you know is just because of a one or a zero. Nothing you say actually has any meaning.”

“Maybe not. But didn’t humans mourn over the Mars curiosity rover’s death?” Gavin’s eyes flicked up to the rearview mirror to see the robot looking out the window with almost a wistful expression on her face. “Elijah told me you were one of them. You have a good heart, Gavin.”

  
  


No, he really didn’t.

  
  


\---

  
  


_ June 19th 2020 4:30 PM _

  
  


Time was...wrong. Half the time Gavin was at work, half the time he was at home, half the time he was at Carl’s, half the time he was at Chris’ avoiding his responsibilities. Though at the moment, he was standing in his and Elijah’s bedroom in his cap and gown still. He knew that in the past couple months he had only gone through the motions. He couldn’t wait to just be done with everything and go right into actually working full-time for Ross at the garage. He was all set, really. A good job, a place to call home, his own health. He was okay. Gavin was okay. Time didn’t feel real until earlier that day when he was chatting with Chris about getting their caps and gowns. About graduating. The other students looked at him weird. Some even looked at him with pity. That was okay. High school didn’t matter all that much in the grand scheme of things. In a few years, they wouldn’t even remember him anyway. Gavin thanked the universe for that. He wasn’t going to remember anyone besides Chris anyway. 

Besides, he had more pressing matters to attend to. Like helping Elijah move out and into his own apartment deeper into the city. Gavin dreamed of the day he got to kick that damn robot out of his house. Out of his  _ mother’s _ house. Though, in a way, he also dreaded it because that meant Elijah was leaving too. Gavin could understand why Elijah had his issues, being left behind felt terrible. There was an unspoken desperation to it almost. Wanting to be with the person who had left. Who had abandoned them, even if it was entirely unintentional. Gavin didn’t necessarily want to die. Who would look after Elijah besides him and Carl? There was only so much a weird painter guy could do for a kid who had lost his mother. Not that Gavin didn't appreciate Carl. He helped tremendously in recent months. But this situation was something that required the emotional response of someone who understood what Elijah was going through.

Which was why Gavin stood in their old room, already thinking of ways to change it now that they wouldn’t be sharing it anymore. He stood there in his cap and gown. Vacant. Looking at the bedframe and all the stupid little doodles he and Elijah had done when they were young and could get away with a lot more shit. Gavin brushed his fingertips up against the fading sharpie drawings and smiled to himself. One of them was a parrot. Elijah loved parrots. Not as much as those ugly little Sphinx cats. But he loved them regardless. Ever so slowly, Gavin took off his cap and gown. He knew he should have folded it back up and placed it in some sort of bag to stick in his closet. That was what he should have done. Instead, he let the items drop to the floor and stepped on them while crossing the room. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t like his mother got to see him graduate. But hey, she got to see Elijah when he did. One out of two kids wasn’t that bad. 

Gavin started going through Elijah’s dresser and gathering the clothes he had in it. It wasn’t like the guy was going to do it himself. He said he was too busy to do it. When Gavin asked what he was busy with, Elijah just shrugged and said that he would find out soon. The whole world would find out in a couple years. Something having to do with a test and humanity. Because of that vague answer, Gavin had decided he didn’t like his brother anymore. The way he was twisting what it meant to be alive and how much he was obsessing over keeping their mother’s memory intact. In fact, he had even said something about keeping her alive in the most basic sense. That didn’t matter anymore. None of what he had initially planned mattered anymore. Their mother was in the ground. But that was the ironic part, wasn’t it? 

The person who had been their entire world stopped, and yet the planet kept spinning. 

  
  
  
  



	26. Chapter 26

_ July 8th 2020 11:32 AM _

  
  


Gavin wiped the paint from his hands off onto the back of Chris’ shirt and laughed at his friend’s reaction. The best thing about Chris sticking around through the shit he had been through, was that they had the authority to be terrible to each other and know that the other didn’t actually mean it. Chris had been there for him through thick and thin at that point. Chris had been through his fair share of shit, considering a person couldn’t have shit in Detroit. But things were starting to look just a little more normal for them both. Chris was highly considering going to college out of state, something back in Connecticut or something. What a boring state. But who was Gavin to judge? Hank was honestly starting to sound more and more convincing when they spoke about certain subjects. That was something that Gavin had to think more about though. It was a serious decision in his life, and he had to weigh his options. The garage was steady, it was always guaranteed. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about such a thing though. 

Right now Gavin was in the middle of changing the cottage. There was no way he was going to change how the entirety of it looked, he didn’t have the heart for that. The pictures hanging up in the living room were going to stay up on the walls. The carpets wouldn’t be changed. Well, he would get someone in there to actually deep clean them. Honestly, there was a weird purple stain that had faded over time, but still had to go. Gavin could  _ almost _ remember what it was from. He was too young at the time, he didn’t actually know. Though soon enough, it would just be a faded memory in the back of his head anyway. The faint purple stain in the carpet was going to be gone. It would be washed away. Just like everything else that Gavin felt the need to change. Like the paint on the walls. He was going to make them a slate grey, not too dark but not too light. A neutral colour that would make it feel a little bland. That was okay.

However, what wasn’t okay was Chris suddenly taking his roller and whipping the paint directly at Gavin. Now really wasn’t the time, but fuck it. Why not? Today was Gavin’s first relatively good day in a very long time. He could let himself have a little fun, as long as neither of them got any paint on their skin. Call him a paranoid bastard, but Gavin didn’t trust it on his bare skin because of the chemicals going into that blue stuff. It wasn’t the same by any means, but that wasn’t the point. Gavin was paranoid and didn’t want any more scars. However, that was a totally illogical fear and he knew it. Grey paint wouldn’t scar him, and it wouldn’t scar Chris. So if Gavin put a few grey handprints on his friend’s back? Well, no he didn’t. 

  
  


“Very homey, Gav. Grey is totally an inviting colour.” Chris snickered and stepped back to look around the relatively empty room. “What are you gonna do with the old bunk bed frame though?”

“That thing’s ancient, I’m gonna throw it away.” Gavin set down his roller and wiped his hands off on his jeans instead of Chris’ back again. “Why? Do you want the thing?”

“What, dude, no.” Chris sat down and grinned at his friend. Gavin couldn’t help but smile back. “But it’s got a history. You sure you don't want to keep the parts with drawings on them?”

  
  


Gavin shook his head with a sigh and sat beside his friend, a comfortable silence stretching on between them. After a while of simply sitting there, Gavin got up and grabbed his phone to at least put on some music so it wasn’t so damn quiet. He couldn’t stand silence now, it held a weight to it. Not that silence had ever been easy for him to exist in before. But even after everything. After all of the struggles in the past half of a year. Now the silence only served to remind him of the time, of coming back home to a silent and empty house that used to be so loud and full of love. It was a reminder of everything that had happened. Regardless of if Elijah and the robot were in the house or not, it always felt muffled and quiet. The sounds felt too far away for Gavin to properly hear at any given point in time. Like he was underwater and trying to listen to the world around him. 

The silence was almost suffocating, and Gavin practically threw his phone on the floor once the music had finally started. He knew that Chris noticed. He also knew that Chris was an absolute saint for not actually saying anything. The two stayed in a companionable relative silence for a while. Just existing beside each other, presumably listening to the songs that came on. Or Gavin listened at least. Somewhat upsetting music, though more of just a kind of emotional Gavin didn’t generally let himself freely feel, played softly. It was almost eerie. Being in an empty room, rewriting the metaphorical history that was on the walls. A room that was always his own. Never meant to be for only one person to be sleeping in, but perfect for two brothers who had always encouraged each other over the years. Who had been inseparable until everything started falling apart. Gavin let out a shuddered sigh as he sat back down beside Chris, trying to forget the reason why he was doing this. Why he was painting the room a neutral grey colour. 

He almost convinced himself it was to remodel because Elijah was moving out, therefore he could decorate what was now only his room in any way he wanted. Gavin  _ almost _ convinced himself that his mother was just working at the moment and that Elijah was off doing the great things Gavin knew he could do for the world. But those great things involved that damn robot, and it’s existence made the fantasy crumble. The damn thing had actually come to the funeral because Elijah didn’t. An angry heat blossomed in Gavin’s chest and he closed his eyes while forcing himself to take a slow and deep breath. Sure he hated the thing, but it confused him at the same time. It looked so human. It was built to look just like a fucking person. Gavin punched and kicked at something that looked just like a human being, and yet at that time it didn’t look human at all somehow. The thing just smiled at him and started talking to him like nothing ever happened. Gavin wondered if the robot told Elijah what happened. It would have had to, it probably needed to be fixed. Y’know. Considering the fact that Gavin hit it hard enough to make it start leaking that blue stuff. 

  
  


“How long has it been since you talked to Eli?” Chris stared out the open window, like he was making a point of not looking at Gavin. “When was the last time you guys had a  _ real _ conversation, I mean.”

“Uhh…” Gavin scratched at his growing stubble, a habit he had picked up from Carl in recent years. “Probably almost a month ago? Maybe two weeks ago. I haven’t actually spoken to him in a while, Chris.”

“I think you should go see him.” Chris turned to face Gavin, a pained smile on his face. “He’s the only blood family you’ve got left, man. You guys gotta stick together.”

“Oh no, we’ve got our dad,” Gavin rolled his eyes and kicked at the plastic covering the carpet gently. “One  _ Anatoli Kamski, _ who apparently had no idea I existed until I was seven.” 

“I don’t think you really care about him, though, dude.” Chris laid back on the floor, staring up at the ceiling before glancing over at Gavin and patting the plastic covered floor beside him. Gavin laid down beside him. “But I know you care about Eli. You should go see him once he’s all moved into his new place.”

  
  


Gavin thought about the idea for a little while, letting the music float through the air and out the open window. There were so many terrible and horrible things that he could say. That Elijah could say back to him. Yet the idea was somewhat appealing, being able to go to the one person he still had for family. Not that Chris and his parents weren’t his family at that point! But Gavin held his blood family very near and dear because he didn’t have much of it. Just his mother and his brother. One of which he had already lost. Which made him realise that he didn’t want to lose the other. Gavin had lived a life without Elijah, but he had become an addition to their family so early in his life that it felt like he had known his brother forever. There always would have been a day where he would suddenly have to live a life without their mother. But he didn’t have to live a life without his brother in it. Gavin didn't want that, he wanted to keep Elijah in his life for as long as he possibly could. His stupid infatuation with robots and AIs and human transference be damned. 

Gavin stood back up with an exaggerated sound and then beckoned his friend to stand as well. While it was just such an amazing and stellar activity to literally watch paint dry, they might as well have something else to do while waiting to put on the next coat. Therefore, they were going to go into the rest of the house and open all the windows. Because, honestly, Gavin had severely underestimated the paint fumes and was genuinely concerned about inhaling too much of it. Besides, getting out of the room would be good for a little while. It needed at least one more coat of paint, then there was the rest of the house he had to think about painting. Chris was going to be staying over for a week or so for the project. They might as well take advantage of that fact and start painting the other rooms. At least start with painting the living room. It was going to be a while until Gavin was able to step into his mother’s room again, so it would be good to take the time to get other parts of the house painted. 

To take the grey paint and cover up everything that was there before. A literal new slate. Gavin took in a deep breath of the fresh air as he opened one of the windows in the living room, trying to avoid getting tangled in the soft yellow fairy lights Elijah had put up a few months prior. For a moment he considered taking them down. To rid the house of any trace of his older brother and make it anew as his own. Though as Gavin grabbed a handful of the wire and lights, he paused. They were kinda nice to come home to every night. To use the little box that switched on the lights and leave them on until he had to get up in the morning. Gavin let go of the wire and lights and straightened them out again, they were going to stay. Elijah may have put them up, but he was going to keep them. He’d have to replace them in a few years if he was going to be using them as frequently as he did now. But it was nice. It was almost like he wasn’t going to be alone in the house again. It was almost like someone would be waiting for him. 

As Gavin and Chris opened all of the windows they could, he started wondering about being alone. That wasn’t great for anyone. It wasn’t great for him especially, considering he had been alone for so long now. He could get a pet maybe. Something rather independent that won’t mind him not being home for most of the day, one that was rather low maintenance. Gavin huffed out a laugh and asked Chris what kind of pet he should get within those parameters. He nearly took off his shoe and tossed it at his friend when he said something about a pet rock through obscene laughter. But that was one of the reasons he liked Chris. The man was equal parts realistic and hopeful. Gavin could see himself being friends with him for a long time, and he desperately hoped that he would be able to see such a thing happen. 

Because Gavin was honestly half convinced that when he went to visit Elijah, his brother would try to kill him. 

  
  
  
  



	27. Chapter 27

_ August 13th 2020 3:23 PM _

  
  


It honestly would have been great if Elijah hadn’t decided to be out in the middle of the goddamn city when he moved. Gavin had heard enough horror stories from Hank to know that Elijah wasn’t safe. Not only that, but the fact that he had the robot with him at all times and didn’t even bother to hide that stupid light in it’s head was just asking for trouble. People didn’t take kindly to things new and unknown. With a sigh, Gavin decided it was likely going to be now or never, so he got into his car and made his way into the city. He popped in an old CD into the center console and tapped along to the beat on the steering wheel. Today was going to be tough. It had been quite a while since the brothers had last had a real conversation. Gavin was almost worried that something bad had happened. Like someone breaking into Elijah’s apartment and murdering him, as drastic as that was. But he thought his fears were well-founded. Detroit was a city, and cities were a scary place. 

The ride up to Elijah’s place seemed to be rather...uneventful. By some miracle, it looked like things were quiet in the city in the fifteen minutes it would take to get to Elijah’s place. Which, in all honesty, made Gavin’s heart race. His life had been so rocky and eventful lately that quiet felt bad. It felt wrong. Gavin anxiously tapped the steering wheel the whole ride, his mind turning to the bad things that could have happened. As much as he hated that damn robot, it was useful. Every now and again it would give him an update on how his brother was doing. It was mostly quick messages that were only a sentence or two. Just something to let Gavin know his brother wasn’t lying dead in a ditch somewhere outside the city. He could really use one of those messages right now, something to say his brother was at home and he was safe. But they weren’t talking. And there was no way Gavin was going to text Elijah first when he hadn’t actually done anything wrong. 

Well, okay, property damage was an offence that had to be taken up with the police usually. But his brother was too high and mighty to take it to the police because the robot was supposed to stay a secret until the next couple of years. It was easy to count on Elijah to be self-absorbed enough to value his own creation more than his relationship with the only blood family he cared about. Way to go Elijah, might as well fall in love with the damn thing while he was at it. Gavin hadn’t done anything wrong, really. People destroyed stuff all the time to let off steam. Hop the fence into the junkyard and take a bat to old televisions and washing machines. Gavin was just blowing off some steam with the added bonus of pissing off his brother. In all honesty, Gavin hoped that seeing the robot leaking and battered made Elijah feel bad for not going. That funeral was for their  _ mother, _ and Elijah should have felt absolutely  _ terrible _ for not going. For not being there for the literal final moments they would have been able to share as a family. No matter how one-sided it would have been. 

Now in the comfortable familiarity of anger, Gavin pondered turning around for a little bit. It wasn’t like Elijah would be happy to see him. The last conversation they had was for Gavin to gather some of his brother’s things and hand them off to the robot so it could give them to Elijah. It was a short conversation, held over text. They hadn’t heard each other’s voice in...who knew how long. Gavin hadn’t heard Carl’s voice in who knew how long. At the thought of the painter Gavin’s heart softened a bit. He would want the brothers to get together, to catch up, to see that they both were alive and well at least. The softness in his chest was something he hadn’t felt in a long time, and Gavin almost felt...wrong for experiencing it. He didn’t feel fond toward anyone anymore. No one aside from Chris. But he was going to be leaving soon anyway, going back out to his home state for school. Meanwhile Gavin was static in the cottage, painting it to make it seem like it was something new, still stuck at the garage only helping people vent their anger at him through the guise of car repair.

He wanted to be better. He didn’t want to be such a bitter person all the time now. But that was what got him through the day, it was what gave him enough energy to get up in the morning and actually be a living being. The anger was something he had become so accustomed to. It was the one thing he could count on to always be there, regardless of what was going on around him. The anger he held toward the world. How unfair it was to him and his family. Gavin took a deep breath and pressed a button to put the radio on before he could spiral. He snorted at the sound of  _ Watermelon Sugar, _ though he turned the radio up anyway. No one else was in the car, so no one could bother him about liking the song. It was good. He leaned back a little bit in his seat with a smirk and headed down the streets that would take him to Elijah’s new apartment. If he sang along to the lyrics he knew. Well, no he didn’t. No witnesses meant that it never happened. 

Soon enough, though also too soon for his liking, Gavin was parked in the lot behind Elijah’s building. For the first time since he had gotten up that morning, he wondered if Elijah was even home. It wasn’t like they were talking. It wasn’t like he had a key to his brother’s apartment. But hey, Gavin already drove all the way into the city, he would wait outside of the goddamn building if he had to. So Gavin climbed out of his car and climbed up the steps to the building, moving to hit the button next to Elijah’s name to call up and head inside. A pang of guilt went through his chest as he actually read what was on there. Gavin’s hand fell back against his side as he read it again and again, trying to convince himself that he had simply read it wrong or he was too tired to bother to read it in the first place. 

Printed on the slip of paper was  _ Kamski. _

For a second Gavin wondered if he should have even been there. If Elijah had started using his -  _ their father’s  _ \- last name again, then it could have meant any number of things. But the one that scared Gavin more than he cared to admit was that his actions had driven his brother away. Instead of letting himself be scared, he tried to rationalise it in a way he could better understand the decision. Gavin turned back to the anger and bitterness he so hated inside of himself. He told himself that Elijah was being childish. Clinging to an impossible hope that never would have worked out anyway. Because of the seeming delusion that Elijah had found himself in, because the project he was working on couldn’t work. Having been used to things going his way because he put hard work into them. This was a shock to him and he , and he retracted because he didn’t understand it. Because he wasn’t entirely unlike a child who didn’t understand they wouldn’t get things to go their way every time they did something. 

Gavin jammed his thumb against the button, hearing a harsh buzzing sound until the robot answered. It asked who was there and if they had a fucking appointment. Gavin scoffed and said that it was going to let him in regardless, considering his familial status. The front door opened and Gavin walked inside. So Elijah had gotten enough people backing his company that he needed them to make appointments to talk to him. What a fuckin’ ride. One day he’s the dorky kid with clunky glasses, the next he’s on his way to making his mark on history. Gavin missed the kid with the clunky glasses. He found himself starting to hate the man who seemingly changed his last name. Where did the kid with the glasses go? The one who would stay up all night reading and sketching out things about robotics simply because he liked to and it helped keep him occupied when he couldn’t sleep? When did that kid get replaced with the man with the last name he had abandoned so long ago?

The elevator felt weird. Like Gavin was stepping into a separate dimension that was unlike the one he had just left. The lights were too bright and it was just slightly too cold, everything was muffled by the sound of the elevator whirring. He pulled out his phone and checked the time. Almost four in the afternoon. With a sigh, he shoved it back into his back pocket and stepped out of the little pocket dimension he felt trapped in. All he had to do was get to Elijah’s apartment. That was all he needed to do right now. Get to the apartment, get inside, talk to Elijah; then leave, get in the car, and go home. Gavin took a deep breath and walked down the hall and knocked on the door that had his brother’s current home beyond it. It felt...wrong. To think of such a place as a home for his brother. He wanted to offer one of the rooms back at the cottage to Elijah, but remembered that the robot would have to come with him and decided against it. Gavin would sooner jump off of Ambassador Bridge rather than let that fucking thing back into his house. 

Surprisingly enough, Elijah was the one who opened the door. He narrowed his eyes as soon as he made eye contact, but still left the door open enough for Gavin to walk inside. The interior was very...bland. The decorations were very sparse, and mostly consisted of various blueprints and schematics for the robot. Hell, there were still a ton of boxes laying around. Most of them were opened and yet the living space was barely lived in. But hey, at least there was a chair and a television in what seemed to be the living room. As well as a whole mess of equipment and pieces of various body parts laying on the coffee table. So much for it looking like someone’s residence instead of a makeshift mad scientist's lab. Gavin shook his head with a small laugh and shoved his hands in his pockets while smirking at Elijah. Yeah, no one other than him could live in such a place and see it as normal. This apartment wasn’t normal. And yet! There he was, living in the midst of the makeshift lab, and seemingly doing just fine. 

  
  


“What are you doing here, Gavin?” Elijah sat down on the floor and didn’t even try to hide the hostility in his tone as he opened up a laptop. “I thought I made it quite clear that I don’t want to speak with you.”

“Yeah, see, here’s the thing with that,” Gavin walked right past the robot and sat down on the floor across the small table. “If you actually fuckin’ talked to me, you would have made it clear.”

“I don’t have time for this.” Elijah rolled his eyes and started typing away, a reflection of green text shining on his glasses. “Thus I reiterate: What are you doing here, Gavin?”

“Since the robot hasn’t updated me in a hot minute, I wanted to check up on my big brother. Y’know, make sure you weren’t dead in a ditch somewhere.”

“How noble.” Elijah scoffed, a hint of a smirk on his lips. Gavin took it as a win. “But you know I’m alive and well now, so you should get going. I’m very busy writing an update for Chloe.”

  
  


Despite himself, Gavin found himself moving to take his shoes off and get comfortable. He leaned against the coffee table and half laid on top of it, snickering to himself as Elijah let out an almost ragged sigh. Pissing him off was always such a fun thing to do. So much for being angry at his brother. It was quiet as they sat there together. Well. As Elijah loudly typed at the laptop and as Gavin pulled out his phone to scroll through tumblr. Eventually the robot came through the small living room and flicked on the television, setting it to some tech channel. Gavin found himself watching it once he heard the name Elijah _ Kamski _ instead of Elijah  _ Reed. _ The anchor went on to say that  _ Mister Kamski _ was born and raised in Detroit, and making great progress in his research to create fully functioning androids. Though the anchor failed to mention that this  _ Kamski _ was only eighteen years old, and had already created a fully functioning android. One made purely for selfish reasons. Gavin quickly glanced back at his brother and tried to catch a glimpse of what was on his screen from the reflection in his glasses. 

_ Caroline.exe was written at the top of the page. _

So much for not being angry at his brother.

  
  
  
  



	28. Chapter 28

_ August 13th 2020 4:14 PM _

  
  


Gavin watched his brother’s glasses, watched as lines of code streaked across the screen. Rage made his blood boil as he sat across the coffee table from his brother. As Gavin was sentenced to watch his brother try to recreate their mother in the most primitive sense. That wasn’t fair to either of them. It wasn’t fair because it wouldn’t be her. It also wouldn’t be fair because their mother hadn’t been the most enthusiastic about the idea in the first place. Gavin weighed his options for all of about half a minute before lunging over the table and smacking Elijah across the face, emotion spurring him forward an alarming amount that he couldn’t bring himself to care about. With his other hand, Gavin slammed the laptop shut on his brother’s hands and hauled himself up to sit on the table. 

At first Elijah just stared at him. With an incredulous expression and wide eyes, mouth slightly open as if to ask him why he had just done such a thing. Though Gavin knelt on the coffee table, grabbing Elijah by the collar of his shirt and lifting him up slightly. A gentle hand landed on Gavin’s shoulder. It was soft and warm, it felt just like his mother’s hand. For a fraction of a second Gavin thought he heard her voice. Scolding him for being so rough with his brother. Telling him he needed to let go and apologise for being so mean. With reluctant fingers, Gavin let him go. Though he continued to glare down at his brother. The man he had known so well for so long, and yet had seemingly never met. The two of them stared at one another before a soft voice cut into the silence. A voice that was so kind and gentle, and yet filled Gavin with so much terrible rage. He swivelled around, falling off of the coffee table, and glared at the robot. 

It just smiled down at him and offered a hand for him to take. For a fraction of a second, he could see his mother. Standing over him as a child, her hand out for him to take after he had fallen and gotten hurt. A welcoming smile that radiated love and warmth. Gavin nearly put his hand in it’s own. He nearly placed his hand in it’s and let it help him up. It would have been so easy to lose himself in Elijah’s fantasy. To let go of reality and let himself be loved and taken care of when he needed it, to be looked at like that again. Like he was worth loving and had so much potential in his life. As if he never actually became the bitter and twisted husk of the boy his mother had raised and loved. Despite himself, Gavin found that his hand was placed in the robot’s. He found that it was pulling him up to his feet with a scowl. 

The sight before him was one that was almost welcomed. The robot that looked so much like his mother reprimanding Elijah for not saying anything and telling him to explain everything, and Elijah’s face flushing in his embarrassment. Then he began to speak. Yes, the program was based off of their mother, and was meant to mimic her as best as it possibly could. The update was meant to be something seamless, and would integrate with the robot’s already existing code and eventually replace it. Apparently the code was done, and Elijah was just double checking a few things and fixing some other stuff that needed to be fixed. He grinned as he went on to explain how it would work. How they would have their mother back in a way, in the most basic sense. It would be like a learning AI based off of old exchanges they had. From Elijah’s memories and his messages between him and their mother; he claimed it was possible to pull off the feat. The robot just needed some time to analyse the data and then she would be back. Elijah stood up with his arms outstretched and took a step toward Gavin, promising that he had done it. He saved her. 

Gavin could only watch on in what he thought might have been horror, though quite possibly also could have been disgust, as his brother removed the thumb drive that was plugged into the side of the laptop. It was a regular black one that he could have gotten from any store. Plain and completely unassuming in what the information was hidden inside of it. It was honestly mildly terrifying to watch his brother hold up that little thing knowing he thought of it as the way to keep their family intact. The only way to make sure they didn’t drift apart. The only way they could make sure they didn’t drift apart was to actually  _ talk _ to each other. To check in with one another every now and again without an air of hostility. Though with how Elijah had been acting, and with how Gavin had oh-so terribly adjusted to the sudden change in his life; there was no possible way they would be able to speak like rational human beings to one another. Or at least Gavin didn’t think they could as he watched Elijah speak to the robot. 

Oddly enough, the light in it’s head instantly went from blue to red, and it went from looking idle and calm, to wringing it’s hands together in front of itself and looking around. It almost looked...scared. Or nervous. The thing looked like it was actually human, genuinely and completely. There was a small tic it had. It tapped it’s left heel against the ground when it went to shift it’s weight to either leg. That was a nervous tic, and only humans had those. Gavin watched on in wonder as Elijah started getting closer to the robot, hand out and trying to give the thing the thumb drive. He started to get increasingly frustrated when it wouldn't take the thing, when it would just shake it’s head and it’s eyes would flick over to Gavin. It looked like a cry for help. But it wasn’t human. It had no sense of self. Gavin looked away, and heard the robot meekly say it wasn’t going to take the thing. That it didn’t  _ want _ to. The emphasis on the word made Gavin look back at the pair, seeing how the robot looked almost like it was on the verge of tears. 

  
  


“Just take the drive, Chloe! For fuck’s sake!” Elijah raised his voice, making the robot flinch just enough for Gavin to notice. He took half a step forward. “You’re supposed to follow my orders; so take the damn thing!”

“Gavin was right, Elijah,” The robot gave him a nervous and afraid smile and stepped back a few paces, shaking it’s head. “This isn’t sustainable. If I had known what you were doing, then I would have put an end to this before it could get out so of hand.”

“I made you.” Elijah’s voice got lower, he almost stalked towards the thing, grabbing it by it’s shoulders and trying to make it look at him. “You’re going to keep her memory alive. It’s what you were made for, Chloe.”

  
  


Gavin watched as Elijah’s eyes steeled. Listened as his voice hardened when he spoke about the robot needing to listen to him because he was it’s creator. That it was programmed to follow his orders because he knew what was best for it. He only wanted to protect it and keep it safe so it could keep their mother’s memory alive and well. The sight before Gavin was...very emotionally charged to say the least. The robot actually looked upset. Like the night he came home with stitches in his face and the thing cleaned the wounds for him. For whatever godforsaken reason, Gavin saw it as some girl. He saw some terrified girl getting cornered by some guy and his instincts kicked in. Gavin physically got between the robot and his brother to keep him away from it. The light in it’s head was bright red, and it genuinely looked upset and afraid. Robot or not; it had a human expression, and if it looked like a people, then Gavin was going to defend it. 

Elijah’s face went eerily blank as he simply stared ahead. No expression. No signs that he was human, himself. But then he gave a thin lipped smile. In a tight voice, he told Gavin to put his hand out. The thumb drive was placed in the palm of his hand. Gavin stared down at it, and then glared at his brother. It was code. It was something that could alter the course of the world. It could change how humanity evolved and what it meant to be alive. Gavin gripped it in his hand and strode to one of the windows, opening it and throwing the drive out toward the streets below. A triumphant smirk splayed across his face when he saw a cruiser run it over in the road, satisfied that their mother’s memory wouldn’t be twisted and manipulated to fit a scared child’s view. Though he supposed their mother wouldn't have minded if she brought comfort to a child’s mind. As Gavin turned back around to assure the robot - as wrong as it felt in his chest to assure a  _ robot _ \- that it was alright, he noticed Elijah was still. Both he and the robot were still, only being seen as alive - or functional - by the sound of breathing and mechanical whirring. 

Then, without any warning, Elijah touched a spot on the side of the robot’s neck and it locked up. It audibly locked it’s joints and went as stiff as a board before it started to tremble, voice wavering and sounding like static. It pleaded with Elijah in a quiet voice, it didn’t want to be updated. It didn’t want to lose itself. Though the statement that made Gavin think twice about the fact that it was a simple machine was that it didn’t want to  _ die. _ From where he was standing, he had a perfect view of the robot’s face. Of the complete and utter terror in it’s eyes and the scared crease in it’s brow. Gavin could see as it’s eyes filled with tears, and he watched as they rolled down it’s cheeks. Elijah wordlessly held it’s cheek in his hand and almost lovingly stroked it’s cheek with his thumb. Almost being the operative word, seeing as his hand slipped from it’s face and down to it’s neck. The robot begged Elijah not to erase it. It didn’t want to be wiped out and forgotten. 

It’s eyes flitted towards Gavin and it said that it didn’t want to die. 

Elijah touched the side of it’s neck again, keeping his hand there for a beat, before releasing it and watching as it fell to the floor. It’s head fell forward first, eyes still open while it’s chin dropped and hit it’s chest. Then it’s shoulders slumped down completely limp. Next were it’s legs, it’s knees buckled and the thing just...dropped. It slumped forward and fell to it’s knees. The robot was on the floor, looking like it was sitting and staring into nothing. The tear tracks were still fresh and wet. A tear even fell from it’s lashes from the force of falling so suddenly. 

Gavin immediately grabbed his shoes and walked out of the apartment. 

He didn’t bother to put them on. He just grabbed them, threw the front door open, and ran. He almost tripped down the stairs, sliding every now and again because of his socks. But he ran away because that was what he did apparently. Every single time something went horribly wrong for one of the brothers, he went running for the hills. Every time there was a problem that couldn’t be solved within the next month. Every time there was a problem he couldn’t solve by himself. Every time there was a problem he had to ask someone else to fix. Gavin ran away. He ran to his car and he drove away. This time he wasn’t able to see, tears blurred his vision as he buckled himself in his seat and set off down the streets of Detroit. He left what had threatened him like he always did. He abandoned hope and he abandoned any semblance of normal. Just because he never learned how to deal with these things. Because no one ever had written a guidebook on what to do when your older half-brother goes off the deep end and tries to make an android copy of your mother. 

Gavin was almost home by the time he had to pull over on the side of the road. Just a few more minutes and he would have been back in his driveway, able to have his time to grapple with what he had just seen. Unfortunately, and what Gavin had felt like was just his luck, his breakdown started when he was just a little too far away from home. He pulled over as carefully as he could through his teary vision, and smacked the button for his hazard lights. Then came the actual breakdown. Complete with him screaming out his frustration and his hatred for the world. It was selfish of him to have held on to any hope. It was so terribly hypocritical of him to tell Elijah he was being delusional, when he himself was almost wishing for the exact same outcome. That their mother would be saved somehow. By some miracle Elijah would have been able to play god and bring her back. Gavin punched at his steering wheel, crying and yelling at himself. At the day. At the terrible and cruel and painfully  _ real _ world. Gavin cried and hugged himself, resting his forehead against the wheel and begging for things to be different. He picked every god he could think of and he prayed. He hoped and he prayed and he begged and he pleaded; for things to be different so he wouldn’t be the way he was. So Elijah wouldn’t be the way  _ he _ was. 

After some time of being curled in on himself, Gavin heard a tentative knock at his window. He seriously contemplated turning off his hazard lights and just pulling out from the curb. Just...leaving whoever it was outside his car and going home. But at the soft and kind voice on the other side of his window, Gavin unbuckled himself and stepped out of his car. Carl and Hank stood on the side of the road in front of him. Both of them so terribly worried, and Carl even reaching out to try and pull Gavin closer. He let himself be touched. In fact, he had even leaned into it. Tears spilled over his cheeks and he grabbed onto Carl in a tight hug. Neither Hank nor Carl said a word as he cried, instead listening as he babbled through his tears. About how she was gone. She was really properly  _ gone. _ There was nothing any of them could do about it because that was how life worked, but it still hurt. It  _ hurt, _ and he didn’t like it. He didn’t like how he almost held out hope for it to work. He was so desperate and so deep in denial that he hadn’t even realised that he wished the thing with the robot would have worked. 

Gavin went on to say he hated the robot for what it took away from him. It took his brother away; encouraging him to work on that terrible project and slave away on it just to find out that it would backfire at the last possible second. The robot took any semblance of normal away from him in that sense; because Elijah would have been the only one left once Chris went off to school. Now Gavin didn’t actually have anyone besides an old painter and a cop who both used to be friends with his permanently dead mother. But that was the thing he hated the most. The robot gave him  _ hope. _ It gave him hope and then it ripped it away from him. Gavin wished that he would be okay, that everything would be okay and their family would move on. Gavin hated Chloe because it was supposed to be there and learn, it was supposed to become their mother to keep her memory alive. 

And god, did Gavin hate himself for wishing that it had worked. 

After some time, and a few encouraging words from Hank and Carl, Gavin got into the backseat of Carl’s car and let himself be taken to the painter’s house. The two older men were having some sort of quiet conversation in the front. But it didn’t matter. None of it mattered anymore. Anything and everything Gavin had once held dear was taken away from him in one way or another because of that damn robot. His brother, his mother, anything that might have eventually become normal again. Gavin let his head rest against the window of the car and closed his eyes. He was tired. As he let himself cool down from his breakdown, he overheard Hank sigh and say something about the city. Something about how he wanted it to be safe for Gavin while everything was happening. After that, he and Carl got into some conversation about how the academy was taking new recruits again. Carl thought that maybe he should talk to Gavin about joining, he had always had such a strong sense of justice and was observant. Hank shot back with how short of a fuse he seemed to have, which wasn’t an entire lie. However… That didn’t sound like too bad of an idea. Gavin did always dream about helping people and doing his part to try and help better the city. To help his home. 

Yeah, actually. Gavin decided with a very slight smile that he would talk to Hank later about it. Once he was able to, he’d make something of his life. Do something with the little thing his mother had given him. If he couldn’t keep her alive, then he might as well try to help keep other people alive in some way or another. He was good at that apparently. The evidence of such a statement being right on his face. Yeah. He was going to talk to Hank about it later. He might as well try to do something good with his life. Maybe it would be good, maybe it would be bad. Chances were that it would be bad with his luck. But Gavin was honestly willing to take that chance, it wasn’t like he really cared all that much at the moment anyway. Not about himself at least. Though when it came to keeping other people safe? That was something he could do. Instead of being scolded for his lack of self-preservation, he would be able to ignore that instinct that so many other people couldn’t do. He’d be able to help so many people because of it. He’d become something. He’d become someone better than he was. 

And once he was, he would have his life together.

One day he would help his city.

One day he would be Detective Gavin Reed. 

Maybe one day he’d fall in love. 

Maybe one day he would genuinely be happy.

Yeah...maybe one day.

  
  
  
  



End file.
